The New Year

This past year has not been a good one. Our Shirley was diagnosed with this cancer at the first of the year, My grandfather passed away, my dad's dog passed away, my dog passed away, Mike was in a motorcycle accident and at the end of the year, Shirley got sick and has been sent home with hospice. I think by anybody's standards, that year sucked.

So now we start a new one tonight. I don't see it being much better. Our Shirley is still sick. And getting sicker.

I hope for everyone else, that it is a happy and safe new year. Pray for our family.

Love,

Teresa

Doing a Little Better

O.K. the update from our mother is that Shirley is doing a little better today. Aunt Carolyn (my mom's sister) has come back to town from Michigan so she is up there right now and they are all having a nice visit. I am so jealous and wish I was there.

I hope everyone has a safe New Year's Eve. I normally throw a nice family party at my house every year, but I don't think we will be doing it this year. I know that Shirley would not be able to attend, so that really puts a damper on things. Not much fun knowing Shirley would be at home sick. Not that she would care. She would tell us to go ahead and have it. But I think it will be a nice quiet evening this year. I know that my kids are excited because Sammy and Alex will be coming over to spend the night. At least the kids are happy!!!! That's very important right now. And I know they all need each other. It's awesome the friendship these kids (cousins) have developed. That has always been important to me and Shirley that our kids be close.

Happy New Year!!!!!

Teresa

Not Every Day is a Good Day

And that's what yesterday was. Not a good day. Some vomiting and now Shirley thinks she may have a bladder infection. So they are checking her for that. But overall, I don't think she felt very good yesterday.

I was going to wait to write until I heard how she was doing today, but I wanted to write about something that not everyone may know about. Our trip to Vegas and how that came about.

My husband and I were talking the other night about how our trip to Vegas happened. How odd that all was. Especially now looking back on it. I mean, it all happened really fast. We (Mom, Dad, Tom, Cindy, Shirley, Mike, Teresa and Steve) were all sitting on Tom and Cindy's deck talking and laughing on a summer afternoon. And somehow we got on the discussion of Shirley's 40th birthday. And then we decided that we should go to Vegas for Shirley's birthday.

Now we all have full time jobs, families, not a lot of money and don't travel a whole lot. But as soon as that decision was made, it was made. In the next couple of weeks, we booked the tickets and hotel. And then we went. And we had a great time. Steve made up shirts for all of us to wear on the plane that said "Lordy, Lordy Shirley's 40" with a picture of Shirley when she was 16 on the front. And Shirley wore a shirt that said "I'm Shirley" with her picture on it.

I look back at that and think, we have never travelled for anyone else's birthday. We celebrate but we don't do things like that. I know that trip came about for a reason. We were meant to be together for that special time. We have a lot of pictures and memories that will last forever. I thank God that we made the decision to go. And for me, it was a big decision. I do not fly. I have made a vow to never fly. But I did and it was worth it. So maybe we should all just remember, if it feels right and you really want to do it....Do it. You will be happy you did. Spend as much time with your family as you can.

I will update on Shirley later in the day when I know more. I know that's why you all come here and I will do my best. Have a wonderful day!!!

Teresa

Shirley is Doing Good

Kathy and I just came home from a visit at Shirley's and she was doing really, really good. When we walked in she was eating a few cheetos and we got her a powerade slush. She did drink a little bit of that.

We had a really nice visit. I think Kathy and I wore her out talking so much, so I am sure when we left she immediately laid down to take a nap. But I think it was worth it. We made her laugh some and it was really a good time.

Her poor tongue is still swollen and she is just really losing weight. Other than that, she was very awake and talkative. Awesome. Much better than Christmas day. I think Kathy and I really needed to see her like that. It made us feel better.

Let's hope our days continue like that and maybe she can regain some of her energy back. She mentioned she wanted to go to Hallmark really bad so for now, that's our goal. Of course she was adorable and I miss her already.

Have a great week everyone!!!!

Love, Teresa

Christmas is Over

It took me a couple of days to be able to actually post again. Lots to do.

I think overall it was a great Christmas. The kids were very happy. Shirley, unfortunately, was very sick. We did not spend the day with her. She came for a few minutes but was so nauseated that she needed to go back home. They called the hospice nurse and had her come out. She worked her magic and Shirley was feeling much better by the time she left. And that night and yesterday were pretty good days. Mom visited with her today and said she was doing really good today. Eyes were bright, she was talkative and was even talking about eating. Which she really needs to do. She is really losing weight. Kathy and I plan to make a visit there tomorrow.

There were some parts of Christmas that were very sad this year. But I think overall our families together made it wonderful. We were there for each other for comfort and that means so much.

I hope that all of your Christmas days were wonderful and full of love.

Now let's see what the new year brings.

Love,

Teresa

I Wish You Could See How Cute She Is

But she won't let me put any pictures on here. She actually let us take her picture but she made me promise not to put any on the blog. But let me tell you, she is really cute. She is kind of shrinking...losing weight. I got to spend some alone time with her last night at her house while the kids went up and decorated mom's Christmas tree.

She let me talk her ear off. I definitely overstayed my welcome but I couldn't help it. It's so hard to leave. She is a good listener but when she gets tired she lays down. She is pushing that button on her pain pump a lot. That worries me. I think she is definitely trying to put up a brave front for us. I can see the pain in her face. Her living room is decorated so nice with her Santa collection and her Christmas Tree. And every night there is a fire in the fire place. It's so nice to sit there and talk to her in that setting. And while I am there, I never want it to end. I want to stay there and talk to her forever.

But I can't, I leave and I just go on living my life. Get up and go to work, take care of my family. I wonder if that is the way it is really supposed to be. I know deep down that my time with her is going to end, so my instinct says to forget everything else and just focus on her. But I know I can't do that. It is what I want to do.

Thanks again for your comments. They are very uplifting and help so much. Please, everyone who tells me what a great sister I am...know that is only for one reason. Because I have the best sister to do that with. And she does not deserve any of this that she is going through.

The year 2008 has been such a nightmare...I will be glad when it is over.

It Was A Good Night

According to Mike, Shirley had a good night. No vomiting and a few times up to go potty. So, there we go. If we can get a good night in between the bad ones, we will take it.

He did say she was upset with him because he would not let her go shopping. Wow, now that's what I am talking about. Fiesty Shirley.

Love, Teresa

Sitting At My Computer

And I am realizing that I will probably never instant message Shirley ever again. We have talked on Instant Messenger at our jobs for at least the last 5 years. And we normally talk every single day. Even if it's just a "hey how are you". That makes me sad. And angry.

I have not talked to Shirley yet this morning but I did just talk to mom. She made Shirley some potato soup and homemade bread. Isn't she a good mom!!!! We have the best family. Everyone has been there for Shirley and I don't know about everyone else, but I could not ask for more loving and more supportive parents or brothers and sisters (and that includes my in-laws). As difficult as this whole experience is, you realize how awesome your family is. I'm not sure I will make it through all of this, but they definitely give me hope.

I will update later today...

Teresa

You Got To Love Her

She is so sweet. And she is trying so hard to feel good. It's just not always working. Last night was really hard for Shirley. Lots of vomiting. But doing a little better today. She has had to call the Hospice Nurse several times but she told me today she thinks she has it figured out. So we will see. Unfortunately, Shirley's pain seems to be increasing rapidly. And that is really hard to watch.

Last night when I was over at her house, I ended up being the last one there. We got to really talk and laugh a little and it was almost like she wasn't even sick. I will treasure moments like that. I'm so scared her pain is just going to take over...and that's the last thing we want. She hates being in pain more than any person I know. I feel so bad for her and there is nothing I can do.

Today her kids came home so I am sure they are enjoying some family time at home finally. Let's pray Shirley can go to bed pain free and get a good night's sleep.

I love you Shirley,

Teresa

Shirley Is Home

I just got home from Shirley's house. Mom and dad were there at the beginning and then it was Timmy, Steve and I. We spent several hours over there. We watched Santa Clause 2. Oh and we also watched a Christmas cartoon. So we are trying to get in the mood. She was in a lot of pain when she first got home but then she got up and around. I helped her change into her jammies around 8:00 and then we put her to bed around 9:00. She has her pain pump with her and the pharmacist came out and brought her medications. I guess the hospice nurse will visit in the morning. I know she was very nervous about going home, but she was doing really well as the night went on. I'm a little worried because she did eat quite a bit. I'm worried about how all that will sit in her tummy but we will just pray for the best. I know they can call a nurse at any time.

Tomorrow brings another day. I really am trying to slow time down but it's not working. Days are just flying by. And knowing time may be limited makes it even harder.

Shirley is so loved by everyone. And she knows that. I try to remind her of that all the time. I'm not sure she will be up for too many visitors but you are welcome to call and find out. You can call me and find out or just call her house and talk to Mike.

So now we are just thankful she is at home and comfortable. And I am grateful that when I read on the comments that you can tell how much I love Shirley by what I write. Because I know I have written this before, but the #1 thing I have learned from this whole experience is that you will never know how much you love somebody, until you are told that you are going to lose that person. The day I was told Shirley had incurable, untreatable cancer and that she may have a short time left it was like a flood gate opened up and all of this love just came pouring out of me. I knew I loved Shirley before, but I never knew how much until that day. And all of the days since then. So if anything at all came out of this blog at all...I hope it is that everyone knows how much I love Shirley. And my family knows how much I love them. I try to show it as much as I can. But I definitely will make sure that everyone who reads this knows that Shirley is my very best friend and has been for a very long time.

Again, I am so grateful for everyone who has helped support us especially this last week and a half. Val, Dot and Pat, you ladies are incredible. Thank you so much for everything you did for Shirley and our family at the hospital. And thank her co-workers so much for all that they did for Shirley's family. We can never express the gratitude and love we feel for you...and it's just for loving our Shirley as much as you do. Her face lights up so bright when you walk into the room.

Goodnight for now...Teresa

We're Going Home

Shirley didn't have the best night. She woke up at 5:00 this morning vomiting. But I guess none of that matters. The doctors came in a little bit ago and told us they were going to send Shirley home.

I guess it's for the best. It feels scary and wrong. Sick people belong in the hospital. But I am going to trust that they know what they are doing. She will have her pain pump at home. They explained to her with her cancer and the stents that she has in, she could have a lot of nausea. If she is taking pills for her pain, she may vomit those up and then she cannot control her pain.

So they convinced her that this is for the best. I hope that she really is o.k. with it. A lot of crying, very sad. She said she is having horrible thoughts. I think we all are. I feel like this is our final step in this horrible journey we started back in February. But we will always pray and hope for a miracle.

So I guess that by the end of the day Shirley may be home or at the latest tomorrow. Pray that this is an easy transition and all goes well for Shirley and her family. Her dogs will be so glad to see her. And her tree is already up. It will feel more like Christmas with Shirley at home.

Thanks again for all your comments and prayers...we feel so loved and it does feel comforting to know that so many people are praying for us.

Love, Teresa

Hospice

Well tonight Shirley's Oncologist came in and told Shirley and Mike and I that he feels Shirley should not do anymore treatment and go home with hospice. He feels like Shirley is too sick for anything else.

This upset Shirley and she cried a lot. It was really hard to sit there and watch Shirley listen to this doctor. It is the second time this year that I have had to sit there and watch her get the worst news of her life. At least before we had options to fight with. I feel like we are out of options. I know Shirley does too. She was sad. I really only had one question for her. I asked her if she believed in God. And of course I know she does. But I had to make her say yes she does so that we both can be reminded that he has a plan. And we are a very small part of it. I will tell you I don't like God's plan right now. This all seems so unfair. She is absolutely the last person this should be happening to.

I hope that Shirley does get to go home soon. I know they are trying. She is in a tremendous amount of pain most of the time. So I hope they make sure she is ready to go before they send her. I am really worried about that.

I didn't know back in March how I was going to handle the news we received, and the way I have handled it has been a lot of crying. Every day at work and every night when I get home. The pain has not lessened one bit. And I can't imagine having to deal with watching this cancer take her away from us. But I am afraid me and my family are going to have to prepare to do that. And I can't imagine anything worse.

So for now it's goodnight. I am going to try to sleep tonight so I can put on my brave face tomorrow and get back up there and help my family help her make it through another day.

Love,

Teresa

:( Doesn't Feel Good

She is back asleep most of the time and not feeling good. But they are still talking about sending Shirley home. She is supposed to have a visit from her Oncologist this afternoon, so that is what we are waiting on. The news doesn't look great right now, but we will see what he has to say.

They are talking about hospice today so it's very sad. We should know more later. Pray!

Love,

Teresa

Good Day...Bad Night

I talked to mom this morning and she said Shirley had a horrible night. She is now constipated and having a disease that affects your G.I. stuff, it is really painful when this happens. This has really been a problem throughout her time with this cancer. But I guess last night, it was awful. She had to have a lot of pain and nausea medication and mom said that a lot of that didn't even help. Hopefully the doctors can help her today. She even refused to eat breakfast or to get weighed this morning. Not feeling good:(

Unfortunately, I had to be at work again this morning. I am hoping to head out of here soon and get up there to her. Not that I can do much, but it will make me feel better. Poor mom got no sleep. She sounded exhausted.

Let's put in a little extra prayer for mom. I think this is all starting to take a toll on her and even though she is one of the strongest people I know, we all need a little extra prayer sometimes.

Will update later...hopefully better news.

Teresa

Hemoglobin

That is the key word. That's low so they had to do a blood transfusion. According to everyone here, that is pretty common for somebody who has a major illness. So o.k. Whatever we need to do. It's actually pretty gross.

She is doing really, really good. She ate solid foods today and has kept them down. She seems to be getting a little energy back. Her pain is difficult to control sometimes. When they unhooked the pain pump to give her the blood transfusion - you could tell that the pain was coming back. So they had to hook that up through a separate I.V. Other than that, doing good.

Mom is staying with Shirley tonight. So I am confident she will be taken care of. I know they are trying really hard to get Shirley home. We have a week until Christmas...so they need to work hard.

Our sister Tear is coming into town from West Virginia on Friday. She will stay the weekend. Hopefully it will be out in Piper and not here in the hospital.

So tonight, we need to pray for Shirley to keep getting stronger and to help relieve some of her pain. And get this girl home for Christmas. I am sure Santa would find her here, but he would rather see her in her own bed in her own house.

Love, Teresa

Blood

Teresa had to go to work today. So this update comes from my desk at work. Which sucks. I was just told by mom that Shirley has to have a blood transfusion today. Her hemoglobin is low. She did have a good night. She is doing good this morning. Trying to eat some more.

They are really pushing for her to start eating and keep food down. I think it is obvious they are trying really hard to get her to go home. So we will see what the afternoon brings. I will be up there by 3:00 I hope and I will update after that.

I'm not sure anything is worse than wanting so bad to be by her side every minute and not being able to. I do have to try to keep my job but I also have to make sure she is my first priority. She is definitely the most important thing. But I do feel much better once my mother or Kathy show up because I know they will take care of her as well if not better than me. She is supposed to have some friends visiting today, so I know that will perk her up.

Have a great day!!!!

Teresa

We Were Doing Good

But she just got sick. She has been on clear liquids all day and she was taking it slow and keeping it down. And then the evening came and she took a few sips of broth and a couple of bites of jello, got up to go to the bathroom and it all came back up.

We are trying. It's just a waiting game at this point. The doctors are trying to make sure she can start eating again before they will even think about letting her go home. And she is making the effort, but her body just doesn't like it all the time. She was very frustrated. She is trying so hard to do everything right.

So, we will just see what tomorrow brings. It's day by day right now. We have to try to be patient and hope her body will accept the food she is trying to give it. She actually got a little bit ornery this afternoon and it was very cute. I am staying the night with her tonight so we will just try to let her rest and try eating again tomorrow.

Love, Teresa

This Evening Not So Good

Tonight Shirley got her clear liquid dinner tray. On this tray was a popsicle. She was so excited. So she ate it. An hour later she was sick. It all came back up. It was so depressing. She had to get heavily medicated to get rid of her nausea. When I left, she was sleeping very deeply. But still sick.

So, we will see what the doctors say tomorrow. :(

Teresa

Update

Well we are sitting up here with Shirley and she is doing o.k. She is finally on clear liquids. We got kind of excited about that except for the fact that she did have some nausea - so she didn't really even want them. She is trying though.

Shirley was originally scheduled for another lumbar puncture this morning. She was supposed to have a series of 3. She has had one so far. When the doctors came in this morning, they said they have decided not to do the last 2 because at this point, they couldn't really treat whatever they find. So this doctor at the hospital is going to consult with her Oncologist and decide when Shirley might be able to go home and what our next steps are. He was worried because she will have really bad bouts of pain that is not controlled by her pain pump. They have to give her extra doses. So I guess we will find out soon if or when she can just go home. We are all so ready.

I will update as soon as we find out!!!!

Love, Teresa

Another Day At The Hospital

Poor Shirley was again allowed no food or drink today. She still has pancreatitis so they are trying to get that cleared up. They are going to do another lumbar puncture. We are so ready to be done with tests and just get Shirley eating again. She is actually hungry and ready and they are just not letting her.

To be honest, it was a really good day for her. And that sometimes will fool you. So on one hand I am so grateful that she is alert and awake and I am able to talk to her all day. On the other hand, when I get home, reality sinks in. At this point, I am ready to get Shirley home, eating and just enjoy Christmas. Still not sure if we will make that happen but we are going to try as hard as we can.

Thank you all for your prayers and feel free to call or check on her whenever you feel the need. If I am not updating quickly enough, I totally understand your desire to find out how she is. She is really adorable laying in her bed with new purple jammies and her white cap to cover her little bald head. But she will not let me take a picture...so sorry.

Will try to update sooner tomorrow. I plan on being up there as soon as I can in the morning and hopefully....maybe....possibly...she will get to eat her breakfast. And not get sick.

Love, Teresa

Feeling a Little Better

Well, we are here with Shirley tonight and she is feeling a little better. Today we did get the results of her PET Scan back. Nothing really that we didn't already know. She developed pancreatitis and was taken off all food and drink today. They did hook her up to a pain pump and she can get some relief when she needs it. We did not get her lumbar puncture results yet. But they do not think it has gone to her brain. But we will see. They are expecting the results Monday.

The treatment for Pancreatitis is basically stay off everything and let your body rest. She did say she was hungry this evening so maybe by morning she will actually be able to eat some breakfast. Wouldn't that be awesome.

Timmy (yes, I said Timmy) is spending the night with her tonight. He is so excited. And Shirley is actually o.k. with it. Kathy bought her some new jammies and socks and so she is sleeping in those now and of course they were purple (her favorite color). She looks very comfortable and so I can leave here tonight feeling ok. We will hope for a better tomorrow. Pray for Shirley to sleep well tonight and be able to have a good breakfast. She really needs to eat. Just to get enough strength so we can take her home.

Oh and Janet - Timmy's birthday is January 5th and Tommy's is January 8th. But that is nice that you remembered. And again I love all of you and your comments.

Love, Teresa

No Change

This morning when I walked in, Shirley was still nauseated. She didn't have a good night. Lots of pain and nausea.

We will see what today brings. We did get the PET Scan results. It's hard to understand when you don't know what you are reading so it will help when the doctors come in to explain the results. But from what I can read, it's still really bad.

Shirley hasn't eaten in so long and I don't know how much longer she can go on doing that. And I know the solution to that but will Shirley go along with that? I have no idea.

I know you are all praying and we appreciate that. Please keep praying to keep Shirley's pain and nausea under control. I miss my Shirley so much. We all do. And pray for Mike. I see the pain get so much worse in his eyes every day.

Update

Today we had some good time. When I got to the hospital this morning Shirley was still sleeping but had a good night. Everyone decided to go to breakfast and I told them I would sit with her. I tried really hard to get her to wake up and talk but it wasn't working. But at 9:00 she was just suddenly awake and alert. It was awesome. Everyone came back from breakfast so happy to be able to talk to our Shirley. She was talking, laughing a little and was hungry. But couldn't eat because of tests she needed today. Unfortunately, they waited all day to do these tests and she was really hungry most of the day. When I came up with her from her last test, the lumbar puncture, her friends from work were there...Pat, Val and Dot. They had brought Shirley and our family all of this wonderful food and some drinks to keep there. Shirley has talked about these wonderful ladies for so long I felt like I have known them forever. But this was my first time meeting Val and Dot. I am telling you Shirley attracts wonderful people. And I guess that is how it is supposed to work. She deserves the best and she has it. Her face lights up when they enter the room. And I know they were happy to see Shirley up and awake...able to talk. I would like to actually thank everybody right now.

The comments have been very helpful and thoughtful. We do have time to go down to the family room and get on the computer and read them. Other than that, we are by her side all day. And the flowers and santas are awesome. Her room is filling up fast.

Now the bad news. Right when her dinner came (she ordered chicken and mashed potatoes), she got sick. She got so sick. Severe pain and nausea. She only got a few bites down and then she was back down. She was medicated and back trying to sleep. My brother Timmy asked "what happened, she had such a good day". And my answer to him was ..."she has cancer". No matter how much she tried to make things normal for us today, the sad news is she has very aggressive, very painful cancer. And she had to keep getting more and more medication until finally she was out for the night. Eventually everyone was gone except for Timmy, Kathy, Steve and I.

We visited for awhile and we laughed. More out of exhaustion probably but we did laugh. And then we left. On the ride home I told Steve I felt bad for laughing up there. It's not a time for laughing. It's absolutely the saddest time of my life. But the 4 of us did laugh and I guess it was a way to comfort each other.

I will sleep good tonight knowing that Kathy is up there taking care of our sister. Everyone is always trying to take care of her. I see Tommy making sure she is covered up and rubbing her feet when he is there. And Timmy just refuses to leave. He might still be there with Kathy. He is ready at any second just in case she might need something. Poor Tear is so far away and is calling for updates. I know that must be very hard. I can't even imagine.

The tests have all been done. Tomorrow maybe we will find out some news. I really am not sure I am ready for any more news. I want to go up there tomorrow and see Shirley sitting up smiling and ready for breakfast. Who knows...maybe that's what will happen.

Family and friends have been awesome support. It's easy to fool yourself into thinking this isn't even happening. But then I open my eyes and really see who is laying in that bed in front of me. And it's back to reality.

The last thing I have to say tonight is that I have been asked several times if Shirley is scared to die. The answer is no. She's not. She is sad to die. She doesn't want to leave her children or friends or family. Maybe that's what makes this the hardest. We didn't cry all day until she got sick tonight. She was so sad that her kids had to see her sick again and that made her cry. And when Shirley cries, I cry. She may have needed medication for that alone. I know that did not help. She loves her kids so much and they love her. And they are being so understanding and good right now. Shirley is an awesome mom. I always knew she would be. I had children before Shirley and at the time she was trying really hard to get pregnant. I couldn't wait for her to get pregnant. I thank God for the two children she gave our family.

Good night all. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Little Update

Shirley is awake and talking this morning. She actually looks really good. We are just sitting around the hospital today waiting for more tests. They are planning to do the PET Scan at 4:00 and the spinal tap could be done at any time today.

These tests are being done to determine how much the cancer has spread. I will update again whenever we get test results. Today let's just enjoy the alert, and temporary pain free Shirley.

Love, Teresa

9 Months to the Day

March 11th Shirley was told she had incurable cancer. December 11th, we were told there isn't going to be much more they can do for Shirley except to keep her comfortable. They did open up her bile ducts but found numerous tumors. The cancer has become very aggressive and they do not believe we have much time left with Shirley. Tomorrow they will do a CT Scan and a PET Scan to determine how much time. But no matter what they say, it will not be enough.

Shirley's Procedure

We just talked to the GI doctors and they have agreed to do a procedure that will put a stent into open the bile duct. This will help Shirley's jaundice and hopefully make her feel a little better. Shirley's disease has progressed significantly in the last few months so I guess the next step will be to find another chemotherapy that will start shrinking the tumors again.

After they get her liver under control I think they still plan to do the spinal tap to check to see if any of the cancer is in the fluid around her brain. They feel like that is definitely secondary because the liver is so out of control.

Shirley is sleeping 99% of the time. When she does wake up she is nauseated and doesn't feel real good. Not real sure how much any of these procedures are going to help.

We have to pray. Shirley is in God's hands right now and her disease seems to be taking over.

Room Number & Cell Phone

Shirley wanted me to let you know her room number here at KU Medical Center. It is 4212. And if you would like to contact me - my cell phone number is 913-636-6288. She is very tired and nauseous but doing a little better right now. She just finished her ultrasound and there will be a few more tests today. We will try to keep you updated but feel free to call and get an update.

Teresa

In The Hospital:(

Well today we did not get chemo which is what I prayed for. Now I realize that might have been better. Shirley was so sick when we got to the cancer center. Her Physicians Assistant looked at her and her blood work and knew that we would not be doing chemo today.

Unfortunately Shirley has several things going on. #1 she is very jaundiced and her bloodwork showed that her bilirubin level was very high. This is a sign of a blockage in her bile duct from a tumor. This is where they believe her cancer originated. #2 she has a problem with her tongue. And this sounds odd but it could be very serious. Half of her tongue is numb and swollen. And when she sticks her tongue out it doesn't point straight, it curves. Now they have done an MRI and a CT Scan which show no tumors in her brain...and this is a very good thing. But they are going to do a spinal tap tomorrow to test the fluid in her brain to see if there are any cancerous cells that have spread to her brain. This would not show up on the other tests. Oh and I did not mention that she has been having severe headaches.

It took them all day to get her pain relieved. I told her I was not leaving tonight until I saw the wrinkle in her forehead go away. And sure enough, by 9:15..it was gone. And she was comfortable again. At least for a little while. She is not eating, or drinking and she is nauseated all of the time and then her head also hurts all the time.

As I write this I realize how grateful I was this morning to know that she was not going to get that chemo and now how sad and scared I am on what the results of her tests will show tomorrow.

I would say that I am going to go to bed now and pray but what for....I have no idea. Nothing seems to be working out at the moment...so we will just see what God has in store. I do know right this minute I wish I was right next to her rubbing her arm or making her smile.

I don't feel like it is time for this to go bad. Not right now. We want our Shirley back. Keep fighting Shirley.

A Story

I am going to make a request. The other day a friend of Shirley's wrote a funny story about Shirley from years ago. That was so awesome to read. I want everyone who reads this blog to do that. It doesn't have to be funny. Just something memorable from your past with Shirley.

One thing Shirley has said to me more than anything else in her lifetime that I have not heard in so long is "The most embarrassing thing happened to me today". And you can just always imagine what would come next. It was normally embarrassing.

I would love to hear things that people have experienced with Shirley that the rest of us might not know.

Thank you. Teresa

Shirley

I guess we will just start with the basics. Things aren't very good right now. The problems she is having is vomiting, fatigue, no appetite. I'm scared of how much weight she has lost because she isn't eating. The hair is gone now. And I know her poor little head itches so bad. She tries so hard to look like she is doing ok but she's not. I am praying to God it's the chemo doing this to her and not the cancer. I guess we will find out tomorrow. She goes to the doctor. They will check her out and I guess if her bloodwork shows that she is up for it, she will have this horrible chemo again. Right before Christmas. I hate it. And I don't know if it's the right thing to say, but I am praying to God she cannot have that chemo. I want her to have some strength, to eat, to get out of bed and enjoy Christmas in two weeks. This chemo is not right for her body. We don't even know if it's getting the tumors, but it's literally disabling her.

I know she is in so much pain and a lot of problems she is having is from the pain medication. She is very medicated.

This is absolutely the hardest thing I have ever been through and I could not feel more helpless. I am hoping things look better tomorrow.

And before I sign off....Happy Birthday Grandma:)

Teresa

Comfort

So do not fear,
for I am with you;
do not be dismayed,
for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

Hard Times

Things aren't going well for poor Shirley. Headache is still not gone. Mike called me last night trying to get in touch with her doctors. I'm so grateful he looks to me for help. I mean what else am I good for. Unfortunately doctors don't like that. So Teresa is not allowed to call doctors anymore. It's that Hipa thing. I'm o.k. with that. I will find another job.

Shirley's head hurts, her stomach hurts, she sleeps a lot. According to the doctors we just need to get her medication under control. And we will. Just the thought of this many days of pain for her makes me sick. I am going to have very positive thoughts today and pray for her that this is the day we make a turn around. And this weekend she starts feeling a little better.

Mom went up and checked on her last night and nobody knows you better than your mom and she assured us that Shirley was o.k. for now. So that made us all feel better.

Thank you Commenters and Classmates of Shirley. You guys will never, ever know how much these comments help. I hope someday I can see you and tell you in person how much that means to me. I do this blog for you all to get updates on this amazing person but also to get you all to pray for her and I know that you guys are coming through for me. Thank you.

I told my son last night that the one thing that I will always remember is how many comments in my lifetime I heard about Shirley's beautiful long red hair. Strangers would comment about it. Well she doesn't have that right now, but she is living proof that hair does not make the person.

The last thing I can say today is PRAY PRAY PRAY PRAY. Dear Lord, take her pain away. I know she is in your hands and you have your own plans for Shirley, but please take her pain away. Hold her and comfort her.

Love, Teresa

December 4, 2008

I just talked to Shirley, she's still not feeling good. Very nauseated, very weak. And now....no hair. She said most of it is gone. I know if I saw her right now I would think she is the most beautiful woman in the world.

This is a really hard post for me for some reason so I better just leave it at this. I love you Shirley.

Making Progress

I did talk to Shirley a little bit ago. I know last night got bad again. The headache and the stomach ache. But this morning my phone rang and it was the voice of a Shirley who definitely was at least a little better. I will take a little better because maybe it will get even better than that.

This weekend we have to concentrate on getting grandma's estate sale done. After that, we are concentrating on Christmas. And if we have to go decorate Shirley's house with her awesome Santas then we will.

Shirley you are awesome. I know this feels really rough and it's really hard, but we see something different. We see a fighter. We see somebody who is not giving up. Every person I talk to talks about what a fighter you are and how strong you are. So you remember that. And you keep fighting.

Everybody make sure to come to the estate sale. It's in the paper.

GOOD NEWS

Shirley had an MRI of her brain today and I think the doctor's exact words were "we only found air". Mike liked that one. It was such a terrifying wait. But it's over. And the other good news is they stuck an I.V. in her arm and her headache was instantly gone. Imagine that. I think we could all use a little of that.

Shirley is doing good right now. We left her in her chair with her pillow and blanket with Mike by her side. They believe her headaches are from several different things. #1 Stress, #2 high blood pressure and #3 Iron. So they will try to get this under control. Next week if Shirley is up for it we will do another treatment and then three weeks after that a CT scan to see how this treatment is working.

The one thing I will say is that she gets wonderful care there. Very compassionate people.

I know this whole process is very stressful. I'm not sure anyone could put it into words. The emotions, the stress. It's ridiculous. They did bring a wonderful counselor down to talk to us all and I think he will help.

For now, I am thanking the good Lord for not letting my sister have cancer in her brain.

It's Been Rough

From what I found out tonight, Shirley has had a terrible headache that has gone on for 3 weeks (of course without telling anyone). She is very stubborn. She did talk to her nurse Doug and they are going to schedule a CT Scan of her head. If I have anything to do with it, it will be done tomorrow.

I know Shirley is scared and she sounds like she is in so much pain. Not much for talking to too many people right now. I know she apreciates your prayers and your comments. She gets all your comments through her email so keep sending them.

Let's hope we can get this CT scan done and find out this is just a side effect from this last treatment she had.

Update tomorow.....We put all of our trust and faith in Jesus Christ and know that his will be done. As Shirley reminds me constantly...It's in God's Hands. Amen.

Very Sick

I just called Shirley thinking we could have lunch today and found out she is really, really sick right now. All I could find out is that she has a really bad headache and is really nauseated. I knew in the last couple of days something wasn't right. She has been so pale and Saturday night she told me her entire stomach hurt. I do know that Mike is with her right now and she does have a call into her nurse.

I am begging everyone who reads this blog to pray for her. Please pray for Shirley to feel better. I will update when I know more.

The Best Thanksgiving Ever

Shirley Marie Holding Kaitlyn Marie

2nd Best Dog Ever - Sue

I have to say that we definitely pulled off the best one ever. And it was a group effort. I will never forget the feeling I had when right before we sat down to dinner I looked out at my entire family and extended family and saw them all together . It was so warm and actually indescribable. I really tried to tell them how thankful I am for all of them, I hope they know that. Our dinner was awesome and I don't mean just the turkey. The dishes and dessert everyone brought was incredible. I did take some pictures but unfortunately they aren't the best.

And Now.....CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoo Hoo!!!!! I can't wait.

Happy Thanksgiving

This post is just to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving. It doesn't matter if we have bad things happen in our life, or some times are really tough, we have each other. And that we have to be thankful for. I am thankful also for the people who do not live close to here. Uncle Joyce, Steve, Karen and their children and grandchildren, Phil, Robin and theirs also. Aunt Dorothy and your family. I am thankful for Kent and Diane and their family.

The West Virginia crew - Guy, Tear, Tommy, Rachel, Leanna - all your families. Aunt Connie, Aunt Carol and Uncle Duane, Doug and Becky and their families. Janet and Karen and Jeff and their families.

I know I may leave some people out but I love you all dearly and think of you often. Family means more to me now more than it ever has. I will be sharing this day with my very favorite people in the world. So until tomorrow....Happy Thanksgiving and I love you.

A Nice Person

Everyone has been so nice through this whole ordeal that Shirley has been going through. But Saturday as we all gathered together, we noticed that somebody had anonymously sent us a card telling us they love us but did not sign their name. We would love to know you are just to say thank you. It means so much to us that you care enough to do that. If you decide not to tell us that's fine. But out of curiosity we would love to thank you.

Teresa

Wig

We did all go to the wig appt. on Saturday afternoon. And it actually was o.k. Well for everyone else except the big cry baby Teresa. But that's just a given. The wig Shirley chose was so natural and made her look so beautiful. It was actually a really good experience.

She still was not feeling great. I could tell it was hard for her. I talked to her for a little bit on Sunday but didn't get a good read on how she was doing. Let's hope better.

Teresa

Still Not Good

Still sick, Still sad:(

So Far Not So Good

I have spoken to Shirley and she is very, very sick. We are on our third day of being sick now. I'm not sure how long this will last. Kathy did stop by and get to hold her and try to make her feel better.

I don't know what to say at this point. I don't know how long these side effects will last. I don't know if Shirley thinks these side effects are worth it. The treatments are worse than the cancer. But we have no choice. We have to keep our Shirley as long as God will let us. It is ultimately up to her and God.

We love you Shirley and no matter what decisions you need to make, we are here to help you and we will help you through whatever you need.

This Post Was Supposed To Be Happy:(

It's one week from Thanksgiving. I have ordered a fresh 32 pound turkey (and yes, they do come that big). My guest list is 30 people right now. And that includes Miss Kaitlyn Marie. This is normally my happiest time of year. But it's not. Not now. Mike just told me Shirley is sooo sick. And this is the 2nd day in a row. I want to go crawl into bed and hold her and make her feel better.

Poor Mike - when I spoke to him he was so distraught. It's so hard to leave his wife but he has to work. Mom was going to drive by there and check on her and maybe we will have an update later. Pray

Poem

LOVE-FAITH-HOPE

Sometimes I wake up in the night
So paralyzed by fear
Surprised, I find my shaking hand
Has brushed away a tear.

Then suddenly I'm wide awake
Awareness seeping in ----
"Oh no, dear God, I cannot face
This cancer once again!"

Then all the thoughts I dread the most
Keep going through my mind.
I toss and turn for hours
But no comfort can I find.

Then when I finally cease to fight
This battle all alone ----
And offer up a prayer for help
Your love to me is shown.

I come to know a special peace
The world can never give.
God tells me not to fear my death
Which frees me now to live.

And thank You ,Lord for showing me
Together we can cope.
A new day filled with all your love ---
With faith and trust and hope!

New Chemo Not Good

Shirley is really sick from the new chemo drugs. I just talked to Mike and I guess she has flu like symptoms, tummy is sick, I know she has thrown up. I'm not sure there is anything harder in the world than having to sit at work and wanting to leave and just go take care of your sick sister. According to Mike, she does still have hair. Which is so minor, but it's something.

I love her and I'm sad:(

Pictures of Baby

We love you Kaitlyn Marie Noland

New Baby

This morning Steve's brother and his wife Kelly had a new baby. The birth of a baby is the most awesome thing that anyone can experience. And after the 42 hours at the cancer center yesterday, when I was told at 11:00 last night that Kelly's water had broke I felt nothing but euphoria. I had not been that happy in so long. So off we went into the night to wait to meet our new niece.

This was all I expected of the evening. To meet this new beautiful girl who I will love with all my heart like I do all my nieces and nephews. The birth went perfect, Kelly and the baby were healthy. We were all standing around looking at her and holding her and loving her. And then Kelly asked if we would like to know what her name was. Well, of course...she has to have a name. And they said it. Kaitlyn Marie Noland. They made their baby's middle name the same as my sister Shirley's middle name. Words cannot describe how that made me feel. It's absolutely one of the nicest, most selfless things I have ever known anyone to do. And the best part, as she grows up she will get to see and hear about the amazing person she got this name from. She is already very special, but she has no idea how much more special this has made her.

I love you Joe and Kelly and I love you for loving me enough to know how much that would mean to me.

She weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces and 21 inches long and nice dark hair. Gorgeous. I will post pictures later. And everyone coming to Thanksgiving....you get to meet her!!!!

7 1/2 Hours

A very, very long and draining day. These days are becoming more and more emotional and it's not easy. I have posted a picture of Shirley's new hair cut. She is preparing for the day of the actual hair loss. It's actually adorable. But on Shirley, of course it's adorable. We have no idea what side effects this new chemo will have on her. She is taking pills and had two different bottles put in an IV. We had such a long day that Kathy and I actually went out and got Chinese food and a movie. The movie was The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I find that this movie has such deep meaning and can really help people dealing with hard times. We cried several times and at one point Shirley grabbed my hand and hugged and thanked me for being there for her. The thing she doesn't realize is that she doesn't have to thank me. At some point in your life, you realize God's purpose for you. I have found mine. God put me here for Shirley. To love her and give her all of the support she needs. And that is what I will do. Another thing I have realized is that you know that you love people. But you never know how much you love somebody until you are faced with the fact that you may lose them. And then it is the most overwhelming feeling you will ever have.

I haven't given up. It may sound like it, but I have definitely faced the fact that I may lose Shirley. And I always wonder how people go on after they lose somebody they love that much. And they say "you just do". I don't believe that. I will never believe that. Shirley, I will never "just go on".

I think about my life and it's always been Teresa and Shirley or Shirley and Teresa. I pray to you now God to never just make it Teresa. Please make this chemo work. Please give us that miracle we are looking for. Please take this cancer out of her body. In your name God I pray harder than I have ever prayed in my life.

Sorry Shirley...no Purple:(

I could not find a purple background. Well today is the day. This entire time I really thought Shirley would not have to have chemo that would cause her to lose her hair. But today will be the day they put drugs into her that will do that. I am angry. Not because Shirley will lose her hair. Everyone is right when they say it is just hair it is just hair. But it's just that awful reminder that cancer has attacked my family. And it has attacked it with a vengeance. I mean I kind of compare it to a tornado. There are different levels of tornadoes. F1 F2 or whatever. But if you hear F5 you know something terrible has happened. And that's what we are dealing with. So on top of all of these months of going to these appts. and trying to stay positive and strong, today Shirley gets drugs that will make her lose her beautiful hair. Of course we will find positives in this too and we will stay strong and of course find something to laugh about and make fun of. I already thought that if she loses her hair by Thanksgiving, and my sister-in-law Kelly has her baby, then my turkey, the baby and Shirley could all be bald together.

I guess what I am trying to stay is we will deal with this. It will be fine. It will just suck like the rest of this crap does.

I will update everyone tomorrow with how Shirley did with her chemo today. It's going to be a long afternoon. Have a wonderful day.

Teresa

Christmas Music

O.K. I think almost everyone who knows me knows that I love the Christmas music. It cannot start early enough for me. The decorations cannot get out early enough. When I see Christmas lights and decorations and when I hear Christmas music it instantly makes me happy. When other people get grumpy, I am smiling.

The reason I bring this up is because now we have 2 radio stations that have Christmas music on full time. You can hear it whenever you want. We are so spoiled. But when we were kids that was not an option. Well another thing that people may know or not know is that Elvis Presley is my all time favorite singer. So as soon as I possibly could (without annoying my family) I would start playing my Elvis Christmas Album non stop until Christmas day. And to this day that album ...or I guess CD now...is me and Shirley's very favorite Christmas music. It's just another thing that we love together and that makes me happy.

Teresa:)

More Detail

The new Chemo Shirley will start will begin next Monday. This Chemo will take up to 4 hours. She will then have 3 weeks off and then another treatment. After 2 treatments he will do another scan to see if this chemo is working. I think it's important that we treat and scan a lot more often. If a treatment is not working, we need to know immediately to try something else.

We do need to be prepared to see Miss Shirley without her beautiful red hair. But big deal. It's hair. Give me a bald Shirley any day over no Shirley at all. And we all need something to rub for good luck.

I think last night I talked to almost every member of my family. It was very comforting and a reminder of how much my family loves me and I love them. They are the most wonderful people in the world and we will come together and we will pray that God will heal Shirley. If that is not in God's plan, then in Shirley's worlds "It's in God's Hands".

The next 6 to 8 weeks will be tough ...stay strong and pray.

Teresa

Not The Best News

Shirley did not get her treatment today. And basically that is because the current chemotherapy she is receiving has quit working. The CT Scan showed that the tumors have started growing. He has decided to try another treatment. Unfortunately this treatment will make Shirley lose her hair. The whole appointment was very depressing. This doctor cannot promise us that this chemo will work either. She will have 2 treatments 3 weeks apart and then do another scan to see if the tumors are responding.

Mom, Kathy and I gathered around Shirley and told her we will do whatever it takes to make her comfortable and happy. I pray that whoever reads this blog does this for her also. She will need us all right now.

There is no more denial. We need this chemo to work or we need a miracle. This cancer is starting to take over her body and emotionally and physically she will need us all now more than ever. Please pray and help her in any way that you can. She would never, ever ask for help from anyone so let's show her how much we love her.

Please keep praying for our family.

We don't like our picture taken...

We agreed this was our favorite picture of the night:)


Unless it's with each other. When I talked to Shirley today we both agreed that we used to hate to have our pictures taken, but now that we get our picture taken together so often, we like it. I still don't like my picture taken if it's by myself, but if it's with Shirley, I love it. Actually any of our family pictures look really good. We love being with each other and we have a good time so that definitely makes for a good photo.

I am counting down the days until Tuesday when we find out the results of Shirley's CT scans. I will admit that it makes me a nervous wreck waiting on those results. I pray they are good, that her cancer is stable, or the tumors have shrunk. There is that fear that we could get bad news and there is absolutely no way I can prepare myself for that. I'm not going to pretend to be strong anymore. I am scared. If they give us good news, I will be extremely grateful and happy and will thank God. But I'm not naive to think that there is a possibility that we could get bad news. And that scares me. So until then, I will pray for my Shirley and I will pray for God to heal her body. I ask everyone to pray with me for my girl. You just can't beat the power of prayer.

Love, Teresa

I have really been slacking off...

First of all - the pictures I have posted are from bowling for Brandon's 19th birthday and a Halloween party that I talked about earlier with the kiddos. Enjoy.

Shirley seems to be doing o.k. right now. Still tired. But o.k. We are just now waiting for CT scan on Monday and Doctor's appt. on Tuesday. Have a great week!!

Teresa

Happy Birthday Aunt Mavis

I am not a huge fan of Halloween. Actually I dislike it a lot. It just gets in the way of the real holidays. So instead of saying Happy Halloween, I will say happy birthday to one of the most wonderful women who ever lived on this Earth. I do know that's where my mother must have gotten so many of her wonderful qualities from. She was a lovely lady. I love you Aunt Mavis and miss you more than I could ever type on this blog!!!!

Have a happy and safe weekend.

Teresa

This is how I feel today!!!!

Psalm 37 - titled "Place All Your Trust in God"

Place all your trust in God, and do not be dismayed,
God hears your sighs and counts your tears,
O do not be afraid!
Through waves and clouds and storms, God gently clears the way;
Wait patiently, for soon the night shall end in joyous day.

Place all you hope in God, and pray to persevere,
For justice dawns and light dispels the night that causes fear.
God hears us in our need, and makes our troubles cease,
O trust in God’s almighty word, and know God’s gentle peace.

Shirley is Tired.....

of being tired. And I don't blame her. 7 months of chemo has really taken its toll on Shirley. She sleeps a lot and it seems like it's never enough. And I know when she is sleeping she feels like she is missing out on a lot. We try to tell her that this is her body telling her it needs sleep to help her body get better but I don't think that helps anymore. Unfortunately with cancer, not every day is a good day. As a matter of fact, there are fewer good days all the time. For all of us. It's a very depressing disease and it's hard to fight every day to keep the bad stuff out of your head. We all work at it, but it doesn't always happen. Last night wasn't a big fun, laughing time in Chemo World. It was a sad and crying time. But you know what, that's o.k. We have done really well for a really long time now, and it was time to cry. So we did. Because the fact is... THIS SUCKS. It sucks for Shirley and it sucks for all of us. Will Shirley ever get to stop chemo? They tell us no. Will she ever feel better? They tell us no. And that makes me very angry and very sad. At least today it does. I have faith that she will stop chemo and she will feel better and I promise I will work at being happy again tomorrow and more positive. But today it's just not there. I love Shirley and I want her to be able to be her silly, giggly, goofy self again. And that is really for my own selfish reasons. I don't want Shirley to have to worry and be stressed every minute of her life now. March 11th was the worst day of my life and 7 1/2 months of this crap has taken its toll on all of us.

Shirley has the week off next week, just lab work. And then she has a CT Scan on the 10th and she sees her doctor for those results on the 11th. Please pray for Shirley and pray for our family.

I promise, better post next time!!!!

Teresa

Good Morning!!!

Good Morning everyone. It's a Monday after a busy weekend again. Busy but good. Saturday evening I spent with Shirley and Mike going to a Halloween party that was given by one of Shirley's friends. I was actually too tired to go because I spent the day going to my first Jayhawks football game and got to watch them lose. That sucked, but it was a beautiful day and win or lose...it was awesome being there. And after talking to Shirley, I realized that I was going to the party whether I wanted to or not. And of course that was the right decision. We had a wonderful time sitting by a bonfire talking all evening. And the kids got to play and participate in a haunted house. They had so much fun and Shirley and I agreed, that once again, it's very important that they spend this time together. Regardless if we want to go, it's important we do this for them. And it was definitely worth it. I should always listen to my older sister!!! She's so smart.

Fall has definitely arrived and the holidays are right around the corner. I am very excited for that. Shirley has chemo this afternoon, so I am looking forward to seeing the ladies.

Have a great day!

She did it....

We aren't sure what she did, but she did it. The platelets sky rocketed. We couldn't figure out if it was the crab legs, melted butter or the margaritas. Whatever it was, it worked. And she got the chemo. It went very smooth and we were in and out in no time. And then I got them all to give in and eat Chinese food. Yea!!!! For those who don't know, I need Chinese food like 65 times a week. Hi, My Name Is Teresa and I am Addicted To Chinese Food.

The food was not nearly as good as the company. We sat there and talked and laughed for a good hour and a half and then it was time to go back home. I found it so funny that when we got ready to leave, we all hugged each other so tight - and to any stranger it would have looked as if we had not seen each other for so long and would not see each other probably for a very long time. And really, it's just four people who love each other very much and hate to leave each other's company no matter how long it has been or will be.

Every one have a great week and if I haven't said it enough, please know we appreciate your thoughts and especially your prayers for our family right now.

Love,

Teresa

Spam

Sorry guys, if you see deleted comments it's because we get spammed sometimes. So I have to shut the website down for a bit and delete these stupid comments. So just an explanation of the deleted comments. I don't want people to think I pick and choose good comments or bad comments. I could...but I don't. I should....but I won't. I'm kidding...comment away!!!!

Teresa

High Platelets...

Hey, today Shirley has her regular treatment appt. but as of last Thursday the platelets were looking kind of low. If they got much lower they would not do treatment today. So Shirley will have her blood work at 3:00 and we will know then if she can have her treatment. I have prayed super hard all weekend, and I know everyone else has too. I believe that if she is meant to have chemo, then God will make sure she has it. But he may also decide that Shirley needs a break. Either way, we will move forward and accept whatever decision is made.

We did have dinner at Red Lobster on Saturday night. We had a nice big fun group. I hope mom had a great time because we did.

I will update later or tomorrow on the results of Shirley's visit today. I really hate saying this...but pray for Chemo.

Quick Update

56....Good news!!! That is Shirley's tumor markers down from 73. Yea!!!!! We found that out today. We did find out yesterday that Shirley's platelets are low and if they drop much lower she will not be able to receive chemotherapy Monday. There isn't really much she can do to get this number up it's just a normal thing that the chemo does to your blood.

I am sure by Monday she will be fine...I think if she eats enough lobster and crab legs at Red Lobster Saturday night, that will help.

Have a great weekend!!!!

Love,

Teresa

Doctor's Appointment

Today Shirley has her doctor's appt. at 3:00. It's just her regular appointment so not expecting any surprises. We should get her new tumor markers and I think we are all a little curious to see what they show. They have been kind of going up and down a little. Sometimes when we go this late in the afternoon, the results are not ready, so we may have to wait around for them or wait until tomorrow. Hopefully, it will be today. Please pray that we get good results today. Between CT scans it's the only test we have to go by to see if this treatment is doing what it is supposed to. And that is to get rid of those awful tumors in my sister's body.

We are also on the countdown for somebody's birthday!!!! Mom!!!! Her birthday is Sunday and we are all planning on dinner out Saturday night at Red Lobster. Can't wait. I'm sure she can't either. With all the stress she is under, she deserves a night out all in her honor. We love her and could not do any of this without her. She is so strong...sometimes I wonder why I didn't get any of that.

I hope everyone has a beautiful day!!!!

Teresa

We Don't Like Men!!!!

Well Saturday night was the big card playing night. We have not all gotten together for so long. And it was a great group....it was Dad, Mom, Shirley, Mike, Tom, Cindy, Kathy, Mark, Timmy, Steve and I. And of course the kiddos. And it was a great time...until the women lost the card game. That was not fun...and in the words of Forrest Gump..."That's all I have to say about that".

The kids spent 3 days at mom and dad's and were worn out by the time they got home Sunday. They have so much fun there and dad helped Nik out a lot with his "new" old pick up truck he got.

Overall, I'm not sure Shirley felt her best. Hopefully, this week off of her chemo will give her a break.

Everyone have a great week!

Teresa

An Evening To Remember!!!!

Well, there we are...at the Tina Turner Concert. It was great. After we got to the Sprint Center, our tickets got upgraded from row 24 to row 9. We were right next to the stage. And Joe and Kelly let us have those tickets and they stayed in Row 24. That was sooo nice of them. Again Thank you Joe and Kelly. It was an awesome night. We actually were seated around a lot of older people, so we sat most of the night, but once Tina started Proud Mary, the crowd was on its feet. Shirley and I included - Dancing and singing away. So much fun.

And Shirley did great. She was full of energy. Shirley and I have been to several concerts together and I am pretty sure I would not want to go with anyone else. She is so into the music and just really enjoys herself and makes it so much fun for me. I love you Shirley and it was an evening I will remember forever. Thank you Joe and Kelly for making it happen.

I guess our next event together will be Saturday night playing cards. We haven't done that for awhile so I am really looking forward to it. The boys and Sam are all going to grandma and grandpa's tonight to help grandpa around the house this weekend. Whatever he needs them to do. Good kids. They love it.

So for now, Shirley, rest up, get through today, and look forward to Saturday night!!!

Teresa

Update

Another late night at Chemo. But nothing really exciting to report. Shirley had her blood drawn at around 4:45 and then she started her treatment around 5:30. After we were finished up there we headed off to one of our new favorite places to eat. The Village Inn. I mean the food is really good. So now she gets a little break. No chemo next week. I would say yea!!! but the weeks she has off she doesn't feel that great. But at least it's a week off.

Little emotional today, so I better not write too much. But I do have to write about something that I thought about in the middle of the night that kept me awake for awhile. When Shirley and I were growing up, I would always sing to her. This would really annoy the heck out of her. But of course I thought it was funny. And whenever I get the chance, I still sing to her and it still annoys her...but she always laughs a little...that's why I keep doing it. Well the weekend Sam and Alex spent the night with me, I walked into my livingroom and I see Nik Noland singing away to Sam and when I looked at Sam, she looked so annoyed sitting there just rolling her eyes. It made me laugh and brought back the memory of me doing the exact same thing to Shirley. I find it so funny how things happen like that. Oh and by the way, I did tell Nik to stop... because most days, I like Sam a little more than Nik. And he definitely does not have the professional singing voice that I have.

I pray that everyone has a good week and I will pray extra hard for Shirley's nausea and pain to stay away.

Teresa

Monday...Chemo

It's that time again. First of all, it's Monday...not fun. And Shirley has chemo...not fun. I guess if you are going to do stuff that is not fun...do it all in one day. It will be a late appt. today...4:00. And the real bummer is Kathy can't go today. She has a parent appreciation night with her family. She is really not happy, but we all understand that sometimes our schedules may not work out. She will definitely be missed. It may be a little quieter in the cancer center...not that she's the reason we are so loud...I'm just saying...maybe. We will definitely miss her tonight.

Shirley did not have a great weekend. She is having some pain issues but as of last night, I think that may have gotten a little better. She is very fatigued also. I talked to her several times this weekend and not once did she sound like she felt very good. I have to get her better before Wednesday night. So everyone send in a few extra prayers for her...she deserves to have a great time.

Dad did very well through his procedure on Friday. They did determine that he does need future surgery, but that overall, his heart has not gotten any worse since the last time they looked at it. He definitely tolerated the procedure great. They let him go after just a couple of hours and then Tom and Cindy, Steve and I and mom all took him out to get something to eat. Later that night, we decided to see a movie. So I would say he did awesome!!!

Everyone have a great day and until I update again....Pray for our girl to feel better!!!

Teresa

P.S. It's awesome to read these comments from people Shirley graduated with. Memories come flooding back everytime I see a new name. You guys are great and please know how much it is appreciated!!!!

What's Love Got To Do...Got To Do With It

Guess who's going to see Tina Turner???? Shirley and Teresa. My brother-in-law Joe works as the on-call Physician for Sprint Center and he offered Shirley and I two V.I.P. tickets. That means free food and free drink. They better stock up. Thank you Joe!!! Shirley was super excited when I told her! And that makes me super excited. It should be a great night!!!

I want to thank everyone for commenting on the blog lately. It helps. And we need all the support and prayers we can get.

Love, Teresa

Long Day At The Cancer Center

There is a lot more to tell about what went on yesterday then what I will probably type today...but some days you are just not in the mood. Today is one of those days. So here is just a short breakdown of what happened.

Bloodwork, CT Scans, Doctor's Appt. and Chemotherapy. Dr. Williamson told us that he feels like Shirley's cancer is stable. The Radiologist reported that some of her tumors had slightly increased in size. Her tumor marker was 73 and now is 71. So his recommendation was to continue on the path we are taking. So we will.

We started at 7:00 in the morning and finally returned home around 3:30. Long, exhausting day for everyone.

Keep praying for dad that Friday's procedure will be a breeze and he will start to feel good again. Have a great week!!!

Teresa

What Makes Me Smile

Friday night Shirley and Mike had Steve and I over for dinner. It was delicious. Steak, potatoes, corn, the works. After dinner, we sat on the deck with a fire lit and just talked the night away. The weather was perfect. It was a wonderful evening ... Thank you Shirley!!!

Saturday Shirley, Mom and Sam spent the day at the Renaissance Festival. That afternoon Shirley brought Sam and Alex over to spend the night with my kiddos. Something that is very important to know...Nik, Jake, Sam and Alex are best friends. They call themselves "the gang". I'm not sure they are ever as happy as when they are all together. They had a wonderful time together Saturday night eating pizza, playing video games and of course staying up very, very late.

Now, to what makes me smile...When I took Sam and Alex home Sunday, we first stopped by Grandma and Grandpa's to visit for awhile. When we got ready to go they all insisted on riding in the back of the truck. (I know it's against the law). As I was driving down the country road, I looked in the mirror. I saw four wonderful children, hair blowing in the wind and the biggest smiles I have ever seen. They were so happy and content just being together and riding in the back of this truck. So innocent and not a care in the world. For that moment anyway, neither did I. I wanted it to last forever.

So this week, when I get stressed or worried, I will think of that moment. And hopefully it will bring back that same feeling I had yesterday. I wish for all of us we could just live in that moment.

But this week does bring some stress and worry. Tomorrow Shirley will have her appt. to have her CT scans done and see her doctor. We will get update on those tumor markers and see where we are at. Friday, Dad will have his procedure for his arteries. Please pray for our family this week that by Friday night, we will have had all good news.

Until then, I'm taking myself back to that country road with 4 kids in the back of my truck!!!!

Love,

Teresa

Some Inspiration

THE SUN IS STILL SHINING

Did you know the clouds simply hide from your sight...
The warmth of God's love and strength of his might?
And these days filled with rain, flood a desperate soul
Where once there was joy and your spirit felt whole.

Did you know there is hope as you rise from despair?
On the wings of His mercy, He'll carry you there...
High above clouds filled with worry and pain
You'll see much more clearly His love never changed.

So let's rise above storms that obscure hopes and dreams
Where our future is hopeful... not what it now seems.
Did you know that God loves you... His love shining bright?
That together you'll triumph through day & through night?

Let us run to God's side when the clouds dim our sight...
Through His eyes we'll see clearly...
The "Son's" love shining bright!