I Wish You Could See How Cute She Is

But she won't let me put any pictures on here. She actually let us take her picture but she made me promise not to put any on the blog. But let me tell you, she is really cute. She is kind of shrinking...losing weight. I got to spend some alone time with her last night at her house while the kids went up and decorated mom's Christmas tree.

She let me talk her ear off. I definitely overstayed my welcome but I couldn't help it. It's so hard to leave. She is a good listener but when she gets tired she lays down. She is pushing that button on her pain pump a lot. That worries me. I think she is definitely trying to put up a brave front for us. I can see the pain in her face. Her living room is decorated so nice with her Santa collection and her Christmas Tree. And every night there is a fire in the fire place. It's so nice to sit there and talk to her in that setting. And while I am there, I never want it to end. I want to stay there and talk to her forever.

But I can't, I leave and I just go on living my life. Get up and go to work, take care of my family. I wonder if that is the way it is really supposed to be. I know deep down that my time with her is going to end, so my instinct says to forget everything else and just focus on her. But I know I can't do that. It is what I want to do.

Thanks again for your comments. They are very uplifting and help so much. Please, everyone who tells me what a great sister I am...know that is only for one reason. Because I have the best sister to do that with. And she does not deserve any of this that she is going through.

The year 2008 has been such a nightmare...I will be glad when it is over.