Shirley is Tired.....

of being tired. And I don't blame her. 7 months of chemo has really taken its toll on Shirley. She sleeps a lot and it seems like it's never enough. And I know when she is sleeping she feels like she is missing out on a lot. We try to tell her that this is her body telling her it needs sleep to help her body get better but I don't think that helps anymore. Unfortunately with cancer, not every day is a good day. As a matter of fact, there are fewer good days all the time. For all of us. It's a very depressing disease and it's hard to fight every day to keep the bad stuff out of your head. We all work at it, but it doesn't always happen. Last night wasn't a big fun, laughing time in Chemo World. It was a sad and crying time. But you know what, that's o.k. We have done really well for a really long time now, and it was time to cry. So we did. Because the fact is... THIS SUCKS. It sucks for Shirley and it sucks for all of us. Will Shirley ever get to stop chemo? They tell us no. Will she ever feel better? They tell us no. And that makes me very angry and very sad. At least today it does. I have faith that she will stop chemo and she will feel better and I promise I will work at being happy again tomorrow and more positive. But today it's just not there. I love Shirley and I want her to be able to be her silly, giggly, goofy self again. And that is really for my own selfish reasons. I don't want Shirley to have to worry and be stressed every minute of her life now. March 11th was the worst day of my life and 7 1/2 months of this crap has taken its toll on all of us.

Shirley has the week off next week, just lab work. And then she has a CT Scan on the 10th and she sees her doctor for those results on the 11th. Please pray for Shirley and pray for our family.

I promise, better post next time!!!!

Teresa