October 30, 2009

Yes, We have been running...

But only a couple of times outside this week. Two times on the treadmill. Bad dog just watches me very sad...I would much rather be outside with him...but the weather is not cooperating. And now this weekend it will be dark earlier. I'm kind of scared in the dark. I don't think bad dog will be much protection...he got scared of a big bag of leaves the other night and we could barely make it home after that. I love him...but he's kind of a big baby. And every morning he tries to talk me into staying in bed and sleeping in instead of going to work. I don't think he understands that I have to work to feed him. And yes...I am going to blame him for being late to work.

Tonight we will be going to Ms. Niki's 7th birthday party (my niece). I love her and that will be a lot of fun. After that we will be joining the family for a night out for Leanna's last night here. I'm sad she is leaving already. I have not been able to spend much time with her...:( Tonight should be fun.

And tomorrow is halloween. I really do not care about that except that I will be happy it's over. Because Sunday...I am turning on my Christmas lights. I know it's early for some people...I don't care. It makes me happy. And I will enjoy it for the next two months.

I will pray for everyone to have a safe weekend. I need you all back on Monday so that you can keep reading my blog. I mean...I am assuming that I have thousands of readers out there who care what I do on the weekend...I bet the bad dog would be angry if he could read it...

Love,

Teresa

October 29, 2009

Can You Overdose on Chinese?

I guess not. Chinese for lunch on Tuesday, Chinese for lunch on Wednesday and Chinese for dinner last night. And I am kind of craving it right now. I have a Chinese eating disorder.

Last night's dinner with my girlfriends was awesome. As usual.

I have not had a chance to get Patrick Swayze's book yet...but I did read an article about his wife. She said she knows that she will see him again soon, so she is o.k. right now. I thought...that's exactly how I feel. It's weird how in my mind...I think that all the time. I will see her again soon. I hope to get that book this weekend.

It sounds like Leanna is having fun in Kansas City. Grandma and Grandpa are wearing her out.

One short note on the bad dog...First of all...my hair brush has been missing for a few days. Found it last night....in my back yard. I walked outside with him and he was running around playing and rolling in the leaves. I go over to him to rub his tummy and he had something in his mouth. Me...thinking it's a toy...NO!!! My hairbrush. Grrrr...(he could have at least brushed his hair).

Second...a computer has a million wires coming out of the back of it. My bad dog is super smart. He picked the one wire that connects to the internet...and chewed it in half...in probably a time span of a couple of minutes. My son Nik said he let bad dog in the house...got on the computer to do homework...pulled up the internet...internet was working. He walked upstairs to get something...came back down...wire chewed in half. I could not have picked out the internet cord that fast. Again....grrrrr!!!! Why is bad dog mad at the internet?

Super busy at work... Have a super day!!!

Love,

Teresa

October 28, 2009

Update...



Had lunch with the lovely ladies... good time. As we were sitting there...I just happened to notice that we were all wearing our Shirley bracelets. I had to get a picture.

They wanted to do a contest and see if you could guess the person each hand belongs to. Good luck.

Love,

Teresa

I am excited...

for lunch and dinner. And not for the food. Although I believe they will both be Chinese ...and that is like heaven for me. I am eating lunch with Mom, Kathy, Cindy and Leanna. Yay!!!! And dinner is with my girlfriends tonight. These lunches and dinners always seem to come right when I need them. I need some hugs.

I woke up crying really hard about 3:00 this morning. And this cry was a Shirley cry. I don't know about everyone else...but there is a different cry that you have when it is for someone you have lost. I didn't know that before I lost her. But that is the cry that I woke up to at 3:00. I don't remember having any dreams...but somewhere in my sleep...she was in my thoughts. I never went back to sleep.

When I started this post and when I write other posts...if I ever write that I am excited or happy...it is immediately followed with guilt. I don't really want people to think that I am happy. That makes me feel bad. Because really I am just sad. But I think we all mask that and put on our happy face. I know that I am not alone in this. And what's weird is when I was looking at the pictures from the weekend...everyone is laughing ...but when I look at each person individually...I know behind the laughter how much sadness is there. Who could guess that one person could have that kind of impact. But you all know her...so you understand. And I am happy...but I am more sad. I am not sure if that makes any sense at all.

But thanks for reading and letting me say what I need to say.

Maybe I will get pictures at lunch...and dinner:)

Love,

Teresa

October 27, 2009

Pictures from the Weekend...


Leanna & Teresa (short hair)
What dorks!!! See what I have to put up with!


Poor Sam!!!
That's not how you catch Shrimp..that's cheating!






Alex looks terrified!!!

Heyyyyy!!!




I wish I could say they were drunk...but they weren't.
Again...Poor Sam...


Outside my house...it's beautiful!

October 26, 2009

Crazy...Crazy...Crazy

Life!!!! That is the only way to describe it. My whole weekend was just a blur. And the worst part is I have great pictures from the weekend...and I don't have my cord to hook up to my computer. I promise I will find it and share them with you all. There were some really good times this weekend and deserved to be seen on here.

First let's start with the most important...Steve and I finally did our passports. Tom and Cindy and Tim and Bea have had theirs for months. The pressure was on. But we finally went Saturday morning and did it. Yay!!! Now, let's hope we do not show up on any terrorist list and get denied. wait...maybe I am hoping we do secretly..so I don't have to fly.

Second...Teresa got all her hair cut off. About 8 inches. Now, let me start with Shirley would never approve of that. She wanted my hair long. But when you are looking for some sort of change in your life...you go with what is available. And that was it. I really like it and I think she would too. It kind of reminds me of what her hair looked like last year when she cut hers off right before she lost it due to chemo. I am just going to hope she would like it.:)

Third...We went to dinner and a movie with Tom, Cindy, Tim, Bea, Nik, Jake, Alex and Sam Saturday night. So much fun. We went to a Japanese restaurant and sat at the Habachi. We had food thrown at us and just had a great time. Then we went to see Paranormal Activity...a scary movie the kids wanted us to see. Scary movies for teenagers is completely different than a scary movie for an adult. Lots of teenagers screaming...I of course did get scared but I don't think anyone else did. I ended this night with Alex coming home with me and spending the night. I love him so much that I cannot put it into words.

Lastly...we all gathered at Tom and Cindy's on Sunday to celebrate Brandon turning 20. And Leanna came to town. It was the best!! We were so excited to see her. She is an awesome girl and we love her so much. I am sure that Brandon had a great birthday. He is also an awesome guy and we could not be more proud of him. Tom and Cindy ... you guys did good. :) I was very proud of Crystal...she was there the whole time helping out her momma. Good girl.

I cannot write all of this and tell you that I did not miss Shirley this weekend. Sometimes, it was overwhelming. When I would sit on the couch...I could almost feel her next to me. Because at those times, we alway sat by each other...and giggled or just talked. I also, yesterday, would hear mom talking about her...and I love that. She needs to be a part of all of this stuff even though she is not here. It's just not the same and it's not fair. My family is so awesome...they do not deserve any of this...she should be with us.

So, the weekend is over. I think we are all planning to go out Friday night and celebrate Leanna's last night here. So ...I better rest up.

I love you all....

Teresa

P.S. Bad dog definitely got ignored this weekend...we better go for a run tonight:)

October 22, 2009

Rain makes me sleepy...

it was so hard to get out of bed. And you know who (bad dog) was trying to talk me into calling into work. Trust me...those big sad sleepy eyes...I almost did it. But the boss is gone...so why not just come in and goof off. Yeah right.

It's funny...I realized when we were running last night...I kept saying "Good Sue...Good dog". About the 10th time I said it I started laughing out loud. Because I always call him the bad dog. He definitely has learned how to jog. 3 days and he is awesome at it.

We have a really, really busy weekend ahead of us. Saturday the most important thing...getting my hair done. And then some of us are meeting up Saturday evening to see a scary movie. Not all of us will be going...because some of us are chickens!!!! I am hoping we can still talk everyone into going. I know Tommy, Cindy, Timmy and Steve and I are going. We will see about the rest.

Sunday...we are getting together at Tommy and Cindy's house for Brandon's birthday coming up. And Leanna will be here Sunday!!!! We are all excited about that. I was looking at her Facebook page today and just browsing through her pictures. And then I saw it....she was wearing her Shirley bracelet. I have no idea why that made me cry...but it did. I see the ladies here in Kansas City wearing them...but I didn't know about everyone else. It was just so unexpected and caught me off guard. Thank you Leanna:)

I hope everyone who has one is wearing it. It just might give you the chance to talk about her. Tomorrow might not be so good. It will be 9 months...and it's a Friday. She left on a Friday. It just is too much of a reminder. Just have to get through it.

Have a great rainy day!!!!

Love,

Teresa

October 21, 2009

Last year was really bad...

not too many bright spots. We had a few here and there. But from the time Shirley got diagnosed in March until she passed away in January, it pretty much sucked. I definitely did have one good thing. Steve hired some guys to hang Christmas lights on my house last year. I love Christmas lights. And they definitely made me happy. This morning, when I was leaving my house, 3 guys were hanging my Christmas lights again. Yay!!! It made me happy. Shirley was so excited for me. She knew how much I would love it. And I know it's early...but they have to be up for Thanksgiving.

And, in case you are wondering, Teresa and the bad dog went running again. Bad dog did really, really good last night. I was pretty proud of him. We only had one incident when a little boy saw bad dog and wanted to pet him. So, me being super excited for the break, was happy to bring him over for a little lovin. Bad dog laid down in the grass, rolled over and was very happy to be rubbed on. Everything was going good...until the grizzly bear came out in him and a nail swiped the little boys tummy. No damage was done, no tears were shed...but that was enough. Time to get back on the road. We both about passed out when we got home.

I know how out of shape I am, and I knew I would be sore, but I had no idea that running would make every single part of my body would be in excruciating pain from the neck down. I even gave bad dog a doggie massage just in case he hurt too.

Have a great day:)

Love,

Teresa

October 20, 2009

Serious Injury...

is in my future. Saturday Steve's brother Joe ran in a half marathon. It was amazing to see how many people are out there running. I am sure that most of the people who are running are doing it to stay healthy and maybe get in shape. But the longer I stood on the side watching these people, I realized that a lot of people are running for something else. There were people crying as they finished, there were people wearing shirts that symbolized a loved one, or a cancer they were running for. And there were sisters and best friends holding hands as they crossed that finish line. It was very emotional and very inspirational. Steve and I actually both got emotional and were on the verge of crying.

O.K. regardless, I have become somewhat inspired. So last night, bad dog and I went out for a run. First time for both of us. I am sure everyone who was watching, got a good laugh. It was a lot of work to keep the bad dog from smelling every single pee spot along the way, or every pile of poop. Oh, and then half way through, he decided to crash out in somebody's yard. He had what I call "paralyzed legs". They were stretched out as far behind him as they could go and he was doing a belly crawl across the yard. Ridiculous.

I hope I keep it up. I am really going to make an effort. I need to get in better shape, the bad dog needs to get some exercise...grrrrr....

I don't know if I am actually running for any purpose specifically. I know that Shirley definitely will motivate me. I would like to think maybe I am running for her. She can be my reason. She would be the best reason in the whole world. Friday it will be 9 months since she left us. This might help me get through those bad days.

Have a wonderful day:) I love you.

Teresa

P.S.

Oh and Leanna comes to town this weekend!!! Yea!!!

October 19, 2009

Happy Birthday to Mom!! :)











Mom's party Saturday night was a big success!!! I talked to her yesterday and she said it was the best birthday ever. I think she says that every year. But I do think it was the most fun we have had for awhile. The guys started off the day building a ramp for dad's boat down by the pond. Cindy and Mom got in a little shopping before I finally made it out there. Once I got there, we went to a moving sale. Cindy, Mom and I looked around and tried to find things that Shirley would buy if she was there. It's kind of like she was a part of our day.
Once we got back to mom's, mom and I relaxed for awhile, got in a little nap before the evening started. Bea, Cindy and I fixed tacos, Kathy and Mark showed up and the party began.
Kathy fixed mom her favorite - German Chocolate Cake. After we put out the bonfire of candles on top, she got to open up her presents and the card playing commenced. You just can't go wrong with good food, good beer, awesome family and a card game.
We used to play cards with little kids running around the house. Saturday night our "little" kids all decided to go to the movies. Nik, Jake, Sam, Alex and Elaina all went together and it was kind of sad realizing how old they are getting...notice I said them...not us.
We really had a great time. It had all of the potential to be a sad evening, missing our Shirley. Instead, my awesome family turned it into something positive and happy. When we were done playing cards...we sat around and shared some funny memories of Shirley and laughed and talked about her for quite awhile. It felt so good. Again, it was like she was there. So many times I want to talk about her...and I just don't get to.
So enjoy the pictures of my goofy family. Please take note of the family group picture where Bea is looking lovingly at Timmy. I think that is hilarious because I think most of the night Bea wanted to kill him. The alcohol must have warmed her up a little bit. Actually, Cindy looks like she is looking lovingly at Tommy too. Isn't that sweet???
Have a great day everyone!!! Happy Birthday Mom!!!
Love:)
Teresa






October 16, 2009

It's Friday


and I feel crappy! I hate that on a Friday. But I am working on feeling better. I have my momma's birthday to celebrate tomorrow. Her birthday isn't really until Monday, but we are playing cards and eating and drinking together tomorrow night. Yay!!! Tacos and Miller Lite...that's how you get better.

It's almost been 9 months since Shirley passed away. A year ago at this time, we were going out to Red Lobster for mom's birthday. And we played cards a few weeks after that. It would be our last time.

All I can say right now is...how in the heck could she have been gone this long already? It just does not seem like that is possible. I guess I could look at it like...the faster time goes....the sooner I get to see her.

I am looking forward to tomorrow...

Have a great weekend:)

Love,

Teresa

October 15, 2009

October is half over....

and life is just passing us by very fast. It's shocking really if you just think about it.

I had lunch with Kathy yesterday. It was really nice. She has now lost two doggies in a month. I feel so bad for her. Loss in any form hurts so bad. In her heart, she has lost 3 members of her family this year. I know it hurts.

But we are not going to be all sad on this blog today...we are going to laugh about another memory that I have to share about Shirley.

This is one that would make her and I laugh. Laugh hard enough that we could barely tell the story. It's a two parter actually. And starts when we were very young.

Part I

It was a day when we were coming home from school on the school bus. We would get off the bus at the house Shirley lived in and walk down the street to our house ... the house Tom and Cindy live in now. As we got off the bus, I was not paying attention to where I was going and I was looking back waving at my friends. The next thing I know... my face slams into the huge bus mirror and I am laying flat on the ground. The bus driver jumps up and is asking me if I'm o.k. and everyone is looking at me. I don't have a lot of memory of pain...but I know that it hurt. The next thing I hear is Shirley saying "Oh, she's fine. Get up Teresa.". I remember thinking..."really Shirley...uh...a little more sympathy please?". Not just the pain..but for the embarrassment. So, off the bus driver went...and Shirley continued to walk home. As I get up, I remember touching my eye and feeling like it was swelling up. Once I got home, I walked in the door and Shirley was there. Her face had this look of horror on it...she said "Oh My God...that looks terrible". Thanks Shirley. I know. It was swollen, black and blue and hurt like crazy.

That's part I of Shirley having no sympathy for Teresa and never believing she was really hurt.

Part II

We are teenagers now...driving ourselves to school. And it was Shirley and I on this particular morning. I remember getting up in the morning and not feeling very well. My side had a pain in it. I tell Shirley that she can drive because of this. Well, we realize we need gas. As we pull into the gas station (Farmers Market), she tells me to get out and pump the gas. I tell her...again...that I am not feeling so good. Again, her response..."You are fine...it's your turn to pump the gas...". I tell her...I really don't think I am fine. She was having none of that...and I got to pump the gas. Oh and go in and pay for it as I recall. Nice. After arriving at school, I realize that I'm not going to make it the whole day so I go to the nurse. That day ended with Teresa getting her Appendix out. I remember Shirley coming to the hospital ... and I'm sure it went something like this..."I am so sorry...I thought you were faking".

Now, Shirley always felt really bad afterwards. And later in our life, these were stories that we loved to tell. We would of course make the silly faces while telling the story and maybe add a little more to them than what really happened. I can see her face now as I remember in my mind telling the stories. I miss that a lot.

O.K. there you go. Now you know another one of my favorites. Enjoy.

Love,

Teresa

October 14, 2009

Cholangiocarcinoma...

we would never, ever know anything about this disease if Shirley would not have had it. But it is a horrible, horrible thing. I follow several blogs of people who have this same cancer. Their ages range from early 20's to people in thier 80's. And the cancer acts the same in every person...the only difference is how quickly it takes you. The hard part for me is if they are doing their own blogs...and then one day they just stop. That has happened to me a few times and I have to research a little and then I find out it's because they have passed away. The guy I had been following had posted as recently as September 28th. He had his sense of humor, had hope and was 30 years old. I kept looking for updates and then it hit me. After a little research, I found out he died on October 9th.

I can feel the pain these families are going through. I never could feel that before. I would feel sadness before...now I feel pain.

The website that our bracelets are from...are going to have a Cholangiocarcinoma month for awareness. These few people on this website are trying to make a difference for this disease. And it has to start somewhere. Where else do you get help for this awful disease. It needs attention, it needs research. These people are fighting and working so hard. And while Shirley was here...they were fighting for her. I will always be attached to this website, this disease, these people. And I will continue to read as many of their blogs that I can because maybe someday down the road, there will be something I can do.

I don't know who all watches Brothers and Sisters...but mom and I have decided that it is really getting hard to keep watching with their cancer story line. It's hitting a little too close to home.

It's cold, rainy and yucky outside. Stay inside today and have a great day!!!!

Love,

Teresa

October 13, 2009

It's Cold...






and yesterday...emotionally...not a great day. It wasn't anything specific. I am sure the emotions came out when I heard about Kathy's doggie. I was sad the rest of the day. I was up until about 2:30 with thoughts of Shirley.

But today...we move on. I am getting excited to see the family this weekend. We will be getting together for mom's birthday on Saturday. It will be hard sitting around that table and playing cards without looking across the table and seeing her big smiling face. Or teasing her the whole night. Or after two sips of a Margarita, she would be already tipsy and laughing at everything.

The pictures I put on here are of when we would play cards together. They were great times.
Love,

Teresa

October 12, 2009

So Many Things To Talk About...

and so many mixed emotions. I guess that is how life typically is...I think I just notice it more. My emotions are so up and down every day.

I will start with Friday night. One word for bunco...Awesome. And not just because I won. That helps. I have decided that I enjoy Bunco so much because I spend about 3 hours doing nothing but laughing. And talking. And eating. And drinking. All of my favorite things to do. I got to bring some friends to my parents house who had never been there. It means a lot to me to share that with people. It's also very good to see that people who I love, who have never met each other, also enjoy each other's company. I had family, work friends, Teresa who I graduated with...I do not even have the words for that emotion. But it was good.

Saturday I woke up and had to go to the dentist. Gross. I was getting the "deep cleaning". Fortunately, they had given me two little pills to take beforehand and that was very helpful. After sleeping that off for a couple of hours, met up with Mom, Dad, Tom, Cindy, Tim and Bea for movie night. We went to eat at Five Guys and then went to see Couples Retreat. A couple of times I looked down at everyone in the aisle and everyone was laughing and seemed to be having a good time. I personally had a great time. The movie was hilarious and I am sure was a little preview of our future trip to Mexico. Which is scary.

Yesterday...I relaxed. Slept in, watched football. And I ended my day watching Terms of Endearment. And that gave me the cry that I needed. I missed Shirley all weekend. I hated doing all of those things and having such a good time without her. I hated it. I love everyone and I love being with them. And I hate that she's not there. If that is not the ultimate example of mixed emotions...I don't know what is.

And then this morning, more bad news. Kathy's other doggie died in the middle of the night. Two dogs in a month sucks. I was so sad. So I have decided today I will not fight the emotions as much.

I have started to get excited for Thanksgiving...but deep down...what will I do without her there? I just do not know:(

Love,

Teresa

October 09, 2009

A Cute Memory...

I may have already told this one. It's one of my very favorite...

Shirley and I used to have to share a bed at certain points growing up. And even as we got older, if we went on a trip, we shared a bed many times. Shirley had a certain routine that she would go through every single night in bed. First of all, to put herself to sleep, she had to rub her feet together until she fell asleep. And that is just cute. And you would know when she was awake...because the feet would start moving again.

And then this is the other one...we would get into bed and we would talk. We would talk for hours. Sometimes after we were done talking...we would lay there for a little bit...and then I would think of something else I would want to ask her...This is how this went...

Teresa - "blah, blah, blah, blah"
Shirely - silence
Teresa "Shirley...blah, blah, blah, blah"
Shirley - silence
Teresa - "Shirley...why aren't you talking to me."
Shirley - silence
Teresa - "Shirley...there is no way you could be asleep already"
Shirley - "Teresa...I am saying my prayers".

Shirley said her prayers every single night. And no matter how many times we were in the same bed, I would never realize that was the reason she wasn't answering me. As we got older, this would make us just laugh really hard. Because I still never, ever caught on.

And I said that there was no way she could fall asleep that fast, but that is wrong too. Shirley could fall asleep in a matter of 30 seconds.

Those are the little things I have to write on this blog...because I don't ever, ever want to forget them.

We are playing bunco tonight...and I will miss her like crazy!

Love,

Teresa

October 08, 2009

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head...


and I love it. I love the rain. Well...I really like sleeping in the rain. But I don't get to do that today. That's o.k. because I will be lunching with Miss Kathy today!!! Yea!!!!

I was trying to think of a good memory of Shirley to write today. I'm super busy at work so it's going to be a short one..but a good one.

Shirley was very stubborn. And Shirley said whatever she was thinking. I really liked that about her most of the time. Last year at this time, Shirley had invited me to a bonfire/Halloween party that her friends Kristi and Paige were having. And I had said yes that I would go and we were both taking our kids. Now, I do not like Halloween at all. It's in the way of my real holidays...o.k. I got sidetracked. The day of the party, I was exhausted. I did not feel like going at all. I knew Mike would be going so I thought it would be o.k. if I backed out. So, I made the phone call. It went like this:

Teresa: "Hey Shirley"
Shirley: "Hi...Do not even think about not going tonight".
Teresa: "I'm not. I was just calling to see how you are doing".
Shirley: "Fine. We will pick you up around 7:00".
Teresa: "O.K. See you tonight".

It was clear that I did not have a choice. And of course looking back...thank God I went. We had a blast. She did great that night. Stayed out pretty late and the kids of course loved it.

I have no idea why that conversation has stuck with me, but it makes me laugh every time. And I still have no idea why she insisted on me going. She was not normally like that. But I love her for making me go. We got a few really good pictures together. And I can still remember sitting in front of that fire next to her...and knowing that I loved her more than anything in the world.

Thank you Shirley:)

Love,

Teresa

October 07, 2009

Friends and Family

I have to say that I am in a really good place in my life with my friends and family. I'm pretty sure that I have always limited myself on friends because that was never a big necessity in my life. Shirley completely filled that void for me. I always had a partner to do things with if I needed someone. I know that my mother feels that way too. I know Shirley was there a lot for her too. I think that was one of Shirley's purposes here on this Earth. And now we are being forced to go outside of our comfort zone and find it somewhere else. I must tell you that my friends and family have definitely done their part in helping fill that void. My mom calls me all of the time and rarely do I have time to even talk to her. I hate that. I hate being so busy that I don't have time to even talk on the phone. But that's really how my life is. My lunches with Kathy never happened before. And now I almost go through withdrawal when I haven't seen her or talked to her for a few days. I spend time with Tim and Bea that I never had in the past. Our drinking nights at Arizona are great therapy. Cindy always knows when I need a little extra support. She always sends it right when I need it. She makes me feel very loved. And when I started putting out invitations to bunco, I realized how many friends I have. And believe me when I say, that has never been the case. Like I said, I never felt that need to have a group of friends. But now that I have them, I love it. And I need them. It's amazing what you are given to help deal with the worst tragedy in your life.

I don't mean this in a bad way at all, and I am sure everyone understands, but I would give it all up in one second to have Shirley back. I was so spoiled with her. She just gave me whatever I needed. In a sister and a friend.

Here at work, we are of course discussing the snow season that is approaching. It is bringing back a lot of stressful memories from last year. I do all of our snow billings and it was just awful last year when I would be sitting with Shirley when she was sick and see it start to snow. Oh well, that is a discussion for another day.

So I want to say today...Friends...and you know who you are...thank you for being there for me. And family...I love you more than anything in the world even though I may not show it nearly as well as you all do.

Have a nice fall day:)

Love,

Teresa

October 06, 2009

Country Singer Chris Ledoux

died from bile duct cancer. I knew he had cancer but I just found out today that he died from bile duct cancer. And so did Walter Payton (Chicago Bears football player) which I did already know.

Just interesting...

Teresa:)

Don't Worry About Me...

Why did she have to go
So young I just don't know
why Things happen half the time
Without reason without rhyme

Lovely, sweet young woman
Daughter, wife and mother
Makes no sense to me
I just have to believe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus
and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

Loved ones she left behind
Just trying to survive
And understand the why
Feeling so lost inside

Anger shot straight at God
Then asking for His love
Empty with disbelief
Just hoping that maybe

She flew up to Heaven
on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me

It's hard to say goodbye
Her picture in my mind
Will always be of times I'll cherish
And I won't cry 'cause

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels
By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees
And she walks with jesus and her loved ones waiting
And I know she's smiling saying
Don't worry 'bout me
Don't worry 'bout me
Don`t worry 'bout me

I love this song....

Love,

Teresa

October 05, 2009

Toy Story



How cute is that!!! We had a great Saturday evening with Nik, Jake, Alex and Kelsey seeing Toy Story Double Feature in 3-D. It's awesome to spend the evening with our teenagers. These three boys have such a good time together. Alex spent the night too so it made Aunt Teresa's whole weekend:) He has so many qualities of Shirley in him...it's almost like I get to spend a little time with her. I try to hug and kiss him as much as I can ....and he never, ever backs away. I know Shirley would want me to give him the love that he is missing from her.
And the kids don't remember this, but whenever we would get together on a weekend or an evening, they would watch the Toy Story videos. Time marches on...
Bunco again on Friday...looking forward to that.
Love,
Teresa

October 02, 2009

October 2, 2008


Shirley and I found out we were going to Tina Turner. I remember feeling really excited...and really sad. I know deep down it was the last concert we would ever go to. And it was.
I was so worried that she would not feel good. She had chemo that week and normally she would not be up for a concert. But she did it. She danced the night away.
So...the weekend is here again...Yay!!!!
We are planning bunco again for next Friday and mom's birthday is this month. So we do have a busy month in the works.
No bad dog stories lately...which is kind of disappointing isn't it? He might get to go to the dog park at some point this weekend, so I am sure we will come up with something.

Love,


Teresa

October 01, 2009

Bus Stop

Every morning when I leave for work, I see 5 or 6 kids down the street waiting for the school bus. When we were little, for a short time we lived in the house that Shirley lived in for the past however many years. And we would wait at the bus stop right outside her house. When I looked at these kids this morning, two of the little girls were doing cheers. We used to do the exact same thing. And of course...Shirley would tell you that I would sing to her every day at the bus stop. And she was the one person I would sing the song to that would become the song I danced to at my wedding. I told her all the time at the bus stop, that would be my wedding song. And it was.

Those are things that her and I shared that I loved. The funny thing is, I have never really just sang to anyone else. I did it to her because she would just roll her eyes at me and make the funny face. As kids you do things to bother your brother or sister...but as adults, I did it because it was something that made us laugh.

I will say I have kind of a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing the holidays are right around the corner. But I know it will all be o.k.

It's awesome outside today!!! I love this weather.

Love,

Teresa

P.S. I just remembered something I had to add after I posted this. Most of the time when I would be singing to Shirley or if a song would come on the radio...she would also try to start singing. Unfortunately she hardly ever would know the words...and the running joke with Kathy, Shirley and I was that Shirley should not sing...if you know what I mean. And we would all just crack up ... I mean really none of us could sing...but for some reason it just stuck that Shirley was the worst singer ever and that was funny to us. It didn't take much...