In The Hospital:(

Well today we did not get chemo which is what I prayed for. Now I realize that might have been better. Shirley was so sick when we got to the cancer center. Her Physicians Assistant looked at her and her blood work and knew that we would not be doing chemo today.

Unfortunately Shirley has several things going on. #1 she is very jaundiced and her bloodwork showed that her bilirubin level was very high. This is a sign of a blockage in her bile duct from a tumor. This is where they believe her cancer originated. #2 she has a problem with her tongue. And this sounds odd but it could be very serious. Half of her tongue is numb and swollen. And when she sticks her tongue out it doesn't point straight, it curves. Now they have done an MRI and a CT Scan which show no tumors in her brain...and this is a very good thing. But they are going to do a spinal tap tomorrow to test the fluid in her brain to see if there are any cancerous cells that have spread to her brain. This would not show up on the other tests. Oh and I did not mention that she has been having severe headaches.

It took them all day to get her pain relieved. I told her I was not leaving tonight until I saw the wrinkle in her forehead go away. And sure enough, by 9:15..it was gone. And she was comfortable again. At least for a little while. She is not eating, or drinking and she is nauseated all of the time and then her head also hurts all the time.

As I write this I realize how grateful I was this morning to know that she was not going to get that chemo and now how sad and scared I am on what the results of her tests will show tomorrow.

I would say that I am going to go to bed now and pray but what for....I have no idea. Nothing seems to be working out at the moment...so we will just see what God has in store. I do know right this minute I wish I was right next to her rubbing her arm or making her smile.

I don't feel like it is time for this to go bad. Not right now. We want our Shirley back. Keep fighting Shirley.