Bad Dog...

goes to the vet in an hour. As I wrote previously. he has a lump on his leg. I am sure that this is nothing. I prayed to God and Shirley last night just to cover my bases. She knows I could not handle anything wrong with my stinker. So I am sure everything will be fine!!!

Hey did I mention that I got a little handheld video camera for Christmas...so I will be filming everyone on our trip to Mexico...four weeks from today!!!

Love,

Teresa

P.S. PRAY FOR THE STINKER!!!!

Excerpt from another song...

Got the news on Friday Morning
But a tear I couldn't find
You showed me how I am supposed to live
Now you showed me how to die

I was lost til Sunday morning
I woke up to face my fear
While writing this goodbye song
I found a tear

I'm going to miss that smile
I'm going to miss you my friend
Even though it hurts the way it ended up
I would do it all again.

So play it sweet in heaven
Cause that's right where you want to be
I'm not cryin cause I feel so sorry for you
I'm cryin for me.

A Song...

this was posted on the Cholangiocarcinoma website. It's not really the type of music I listen to but it definitely describes how I feel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8zoN7w2nVw&feature=related

I'm missing Shirley. My mother made us these adorable bags filled with wonderful stuff. As I was sitting there opening it on Christmas Day I could picture her sitting right next to me just absolutely loving this bag. I know mom had Shirley in mind. It was perfect.

4 weeks from tomorrow...Mexico...can't wait to be sitting on a beach drinking their fancy fruity drinks...and baking in the sun.

Love,

Teresa

Christmas was not the same...

without Shirley here.

The snow has just made everything crazy. I work for a company that does snow removal so I did end up working over the weekend and I will be swamped from this point on. That's o.k....I need the distraction.

Christmas Eve was absolutely beautiful with all of the snow. It did make Christmas a little treacherous. I hope you all were safe. My Christmas was put on hold with Steve's family until Saturday because of the snow. This really turned out great for me. That gave me time to make it out to see Shirley. I really wish I would have videotaped this event...because it was really quite comical. When we showed up to see her...the snow had drifted so bad that you could not even see the roads in the cemetery. So we parked quite a distance from her and Steve, Nik, Jake and I made the hike to go see her. The snow was up past our knees. Well for me anyway. I'm sure the guys it was at their ankles. But whatever. This is not about how short Teresa is.

I will say that as I stood there ... I reflected on where I was at that moment last year. I knew that a year from then we would not have her. And I had no idea how my life would go on without her. And now...it has been a year. Sometimes I am just angry at myself for being able to go on an entire year without her being here. It should not have been so...I don't want to say "easy" but I don't know any other word. It just should not have turned out like this:(

I did get to spend the entire afternoon at mom and dad's - which I loved. Nice and relaxing. Dinner was delicious. Mom did great. And mom made the ladies all very nice bags with lots of goodies in them. We loved them.

Saturday we spent with Joe and Kelly and their family. It was such a nice holiday weekend.

But we are now back to "normal". It is all over. The trees are down and the house is clean. A month from now we will be in Mexico. Shocking.

I do have a prayer request today. Saturday I found a lump on the bad dog's leg. If you recall...my Rocky passed away a week after I found a lump on his leg. I thought I was going to just die Saturday when I found it. I always massage his back paralyzed legs...ok they are not really paralyzed but he stretches them out and drags them around. So since the day I got him I tell him I will massage his paralyzed legs. It really sounds stupid when I type it. Oh well. As I was massaging...there it was. The size of a ping pong ball and rock hard. I know in my heart this is nothing. But the vet cannot see him until Wednesday. So pray for my stinker. When I decided to love this bad dog...I did so with my entire heart. He has everything from me and I worship the ground he walks on. So no way would he be taken from me.

Now back to my snow billing...yay!!!! Countdown is on to Mexico!!!

Love,

Teresa:)

11 Months today...

Shirley left. I will not write much today because who wants to be depressed and sad two days before Christmas.

I do want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! Be safe and love your family:)

I love you!

Teresa

The weekend...

was very busy. But a lot of fun. Saturday we did get to go to each other's houses and look at our trees and then we went to Crown Center to shop. Crown Center was beautiful.

Yesterday, Kathy and I went out to see Shirley and we decorated. We decorated her tree and brought her a miniature Christmas tree. It felt good to do that for her. Kathy and I could just see her telling us how much she liked it and she would definitely appreciate it.

We are closing in on Christmas. And on Wednesday it will be 11 months since Shirley left us. The emotions are going crazy right now. For all of us.

Love,

Teresa

December 18th....

grrrrr.....

the girls....and Mark:)

One week before Christmas. Time to panic...

Last night was awesome. I had dinner with my girlfriends...and one guy. Mark was our surprise guest last night. Great guy. He wants to be part of our group so bad that Teresa finally invited him. I think he had a great time. I'm not so sure his wife enjoyed him being there. Teresa's house was decorated beautifully and the food was delicious. But it was the company that I enjoyed the most. Again..thank you is not enough for these girls. I did get pictures of her two dogs. They are GOOD doggies. Bad dog did not like the smell of other doggies on his momma.

Bad dog is actually affecting my family members now. I think he is trying to slowly alienate everyone so that he can have me all to himself. I will apologize on the World Wide Web to Cindy for Sue eating her Spaghetti Spoon. Actually...he chewed it, broke it in half and buried it in the backyard....then dug it up and pranced around with it like he just won the Superbowl and this was his trophy. Again...I'm sorry. Cindy will be getting a new spoon tomorrow on our shopping trip. And one less gift for the stinker under the tree. Guess he doesn't care that Santa is watching.

I'm excited for our tree tour and shopping tomorrow. Yay!!!! I will definitely have pictures of that on Monday.

I did visit Shirley last night. I needed that. I think Kathy and I are going to go decorate her little area on Sunday...

So enjoy the few pictures on here...and have an awesome weekend!!!!

Love,

Teresa

One Week From Today

it will be Christmas Eve. My kids are excited...especially Kelsey. She is counting down the days. She loves Christmas so much. And she is just so innocent. Anyone who has met her knows how special she is. And last night she walked through the living room and said "Mom...eight days until Christmas"...and I said "I know honey...aren't you excited". She didn't answer. I turned around and looked at her and she had her head down. I asked her what was wrong and she said "I am sad Aunt Shirley won't be here for Christmas". I explained the best I could that Aunt Shirley would not want her to be sad and that she is much happier where she is now.

I sometimes find myself so involved with my own sadness and pain that I forget about the people around me. Especially quiet little Kelsey. But ... being the goofy little girl she is...instantly a smile came on her face, she bounced up the stairs giggling all the way to her room.

Tonight I am having dinner with my girlfriends. Tomorrow there will more shopping. And Saturday...the funnest day of all. We will do our Christmas tree tour and shop at Crown Center. Mom, Cindy, Bea, Vicky and I will all go to each other's house and look at our decorations. It's a lot of fun. We did this for a couple of years with Shirley. I will say her Santa Collection was the best.

I am very emotional and sad right now. I know this will pass. I pray that it does. I am praying for all of my family and friends to be safe and healthy. I am praying that my family will find the strength to be happy through the holidays. I know we will.

Love,

Teresa

Kathy told me...

that Shirley has a Santa. Kathy went to visit her yesterday and called me and said that somebody had given Shirley a Santa. It made me feel good to know that Kathy was there and that somebody had given her a Santa. Tomorrow evening I will be having dinner with some friends and she lives right by Shirley. So I will visit her tomorrow evening.

Here is a poem off the cholangiocarcinoma website:

I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights like Heaven's stars reflecting in the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tears
For I am spending Christmas up with our God this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sound of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here
I have no words to tell you the joy their voices bring
For it's beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, we really aren't apart.
So be happy for me dear ones you know I hold you near
And be glad I am spending Christmas up with God this year.

I sent you each a heavenly gift from my heavenly home above
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all love is a gift more precious than pure gold
It was always most important in the staires that have been told.

Please love and keep each other as we have been taught to do
I can't count the blessings of love God has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away the tear
Remember I am spending Christmas with our God this year.

Love,

Teresa:)

I have become one of those people...

who cry during the holidays. I have found myself over the last week crying more and more. I am having to physically work at keeping myself from crying.

I was so touched yesterday by a comment on the blog from one of Shirley's friends from high school. I remember her very well. This morning I read Leanna's comment and just fell apart. I cry because I am sad...but also because of I am happy. Happy that people are still thinking about Shirley and remembering her. A lady at work told me yesterday that she only met Shirley once but can remember her very well. Her smile. And then I was just so mad at myself that I did not bring her here more so everyone here could have gotten to know her better.

I have also found myself not calling my mother or Kathy because for some reason that also makes me cry. I know they are just as sad as I am. I don't want to make them cry. But I just cannot stop myself. And I feel like it's getting worse every day. I pray these feelings will pass.

So I will try again today. I know it will not work but I will try.

Love,

Teresa:)

The Holidays...

are flying by. Amazing how fast time is going.

I went to a Christmas party Saturday night with Joe and Kelly and that was a lot of fun. It was fun to dress up. The picture is of Steve and I in front of the tree. And I normally do not like pictures of myself but me and the bad dog had our picture taken together...notice the treat in my hand....he was more interested in playing with Mr. Alex. We did have Alex at our house this weekend. I could hug that kid all freaking day!!!

Shopping is getting done slowly...never enough time.

I'm feeling very anxious about Christmas. A lot of things are different this year. Of course the main thing is Shirley will not be here. I will look for her when I go to mom and dad's. I still have that habit. It's an awful feeling.

I think I will be having dinner at my friend Teresa's house this week. I am super excited about that. If I have not mentioned it...she has two rescue Golden Retrievers that are absolutely gorgeous. So sweet. A friend that I am so happy I reconnected with.

So...another week back to work...yay!!!

Love,

Teresa

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer...

I love that song. I have no idea why but it cracks me up.

Friday is finally here. I hate when I just wish all week for Friday. But I cannot help it. I have a lot to do. Christmas shopping is at the top of the list.

Last night Steve and Jake went to a KISS concert. That seems odd to me. But they did. Jake loved it. They had a little male bonding time. They went with Steve's brother Joe. Dorks!!! But it did remind me of the concert Shirley and I went to. Jake said he thought of us being there when he was there. That was nice. We had a great time that night:)

Have a lovely weekend and happy shopping:)

Love,

Teresa

2 Weeks

and it will be Christmas!!!! I'm so far from being ready. Hopefully this weekend I can get some shopping done and maybe get a little closer to being ready.

The kids are of course excited. It's just a really good time of year. I talked to some people I work with over the last couple of days and they are worried that with Shirley being gone it will not be a good holiday. Well, they are partly right. But what they do not understand is that nothing can be worse than watching what she went through last year. Christmas Day last year Kathy, Shirley and I spent most of the time laying on mom and dad's bed because Shirley was so sick. There is nothing worse than watching someone you love that much suffer so bad. So, no, I will hate the holiday without Shirley...but I would rather her be gone than to be here and be as sick as she was. She hated being sick.

Christmas just gives me such a good feeling inside...and so does thinking about Shirley. :)

Happy Shopping!!!!

Love,

Teresa

It's Better to just ...

hide. I'm very emotional today. Today a guy I work with - his sister passed away. He came over to me and it was just overwhelming. He looked at me and said "I now know how you feel". I was so sad for him. I don't want anyone else in the world to feel that pain. I know that's not realistic but I do wish it.

One year ago today Shirley was put into the hospital. I cannot even write on here what our family went through during that stay at K.U. Medical Center. That was when it really sank in that this was it. We were at the end of our time with Shirley. And we had to prepare. How did we do that? How did we get through that? I'm not sure we will ever know.

I have been really trying to not be sad on here and to be more positive. I've even tried to talk more about the bad dog just to make things happier. But today is not the day for that. I will be sad today.

Love,

Teresa

We are expecting snow...

and that means a lot of work for Teresa. Last year at this time...snow was the last thing I needed. My top priority was taking care of Shirley...and if it snowed...that meant I had to go into work. I couldn't lose my job but I also had to be there for her. It was very stressful. But I would go back to that in a second instead of being here without her. I wish she was here for me to take care of her.

Saturday Mom, Bea, Cindy and I headed out and did some Christmas shopping. And on Sunday I actually got both of my trees put up. I don't think the pictures do them justice.

Life is busy...but she is never out of my mind...!!! I find myself thinking about her with every single thing I do. I am praying every night to help me, my mom and my entire family to make it through the holidays. It's tough.

Love,

Teresa

This Time of Year...

is crazy. Of course I will repeat myself and tell you that is a very good thing.

Today I only half to work half a day...Christmas Party!!! And tonight we will be getting together for bunco again. Yay!!!!

Tomorrow Mom, Cindy, Bea, Kathy and I are going to go shopping at a store called Old Time Pottery I think??? I have only been there twice. It is a store that Shirley introduced us too a couple of years ago. We had a blast shopping there. And then that is where Kathy and I bought Shirley her Christmas Carolers last year for her birthday.

I have to find time this weekend to go buy my Christmas tree. My big tree is always real and stand in my livingroom. I will also put up an artificial tree in my dining room. This tree will be in memory of my girl Shirley. It will be all purple. I am excited. I will definitely take pictures and put them on here. Of course, the tree has already been put together and is standing in the dining room. And bad dog has already pulled it down and taken it apart a couple of times. So I will have to block that room off. Grrrr.....

I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend. I have heard rumors of snow for next week!!!

Brrrrrr....


Love,

Teresa

The Bad Dog...

was bad again. Last night started out like my normal nights. I started with working out on the treadmill...30 minutes. After that I can really barely move. But I must tell you before I go any further that this bad dog thinks when I put socks and shoes on my feet....that means he is going for a run. Unfortunately...he chewed through his very last leash on Thanksgiving day. So there have been no recent outings for him.

After the treadmill...I walked upstairs...and the guilt was too much to bear. The big sad eyes, the tail suspended in air...deciding whether it should wag...or droop. So off I went to Petsmart...to buy the 10th leash in his short one year of life. Guess what...Petsmart does not sell chain leashes. Grrrrr....and what was I thinking...I picked up a bag of treats on my way to the check out.

I walk in the front door and it's like he knew where I had been and what I had purchased. He was almost giddy. Ridiculous. So off we go!!!! Running through the neighborhood .... trying not to fall or get mugged by the neighborhood hoodlums. Proud of myself for getting in more exercise and making doggie happy.

New leash...treats...run....what more could a doggie ask for. But no...that was not enough. We make it back home safe and it is now time for me to finally sit down. But no...bad dog had other plans. I am also a nice mommy who leaves the front door open so the doggie can get a view of the front yard as he slumbers. And how does he repay me...as soon as he sees another dog...he lunges all of his body weight against the door...and he is gone. My exercise was not done for the night.

Off I go with Nik and Jake chasing behind me. Certain the bad dog is about to meet a terrible end with the German Shepherd he was approaching...or a car that would definitely not see him.

The two dogs tear off through the neighborhood biting each other but not really fighting. We are all running and running and running...and then....like he had a sudden change of heart and felt terribly bad that he was doing this to his momma...he turned and bolted straight back to the house and ran right back in where he came from.

The boys and I stood there looking at each other like...What just happened? Sure enough...as I walk into the house...he is already slumbering on the sofa. He looks up at me and wags his tail and goes back to sleep. I kissed his head and gave him a treat. :)

Love,

Teresa

P.S. No treadmill tonight. Meeting my girls for dinner!!!! Can't wait!!!

Thanksgiving....

Thanksgiving Pictures...Finally!!!

Bad Dog waiting

In Memory of Shirley

After
Before

Kaitlyn Marie

Exhausted Bad Dog

I don't normally watch...

House. But last night I turned it on right at the end. I heard "The person you want with you when you are living is not the person you want with you when you are dying". Think about that for awhile.

Love,

Teresa

P.S. Still working on pictures...sorry.

Whew....

One holiday down. The Thanksgiving Day was awesome. Beautiful day with beautiful family. The turkey and stuffing and pie were delicious. Bad dog was good dog. People were happy. But she was missing. She wasn't there. It didn't really affect me that day. I was busy running around...playing hostess. Enjoying everyone and everything. Friday...it hit me. I spent the next 3 days having a really hard time ....trying not to cry...trying to push bad memories out and let good ones in. Trying so hard to not remember what we were going through one year ago. Thankful Shirley had a good Thanksgiving...but knowing what was to come. Dreading it. And it was like it all came back. Nights have been bad. She's in my every thought.

We got Christmas decorations out and I remembered last year...I did get them out but never really decorated. I had to take care of Shirley...there was no time to decorate.

So...we will try to make it to the next holiday.

Teresa did get her passport...so I will be going to Mexico in January. This week we will get our tree and decorate....in purple. My husband came up with the idea to do a purple tree this year. In memory of Shirley. She would have loved it. I will definitely put up pictures when it is done.

And there should be pictures on here soon from Thanksgiving. I forgot the adaptor cord today...oops!!!

I hope your holiday was filled with love.

Love,

Teresa

Happy Thanksgiving...

to all of my friends and family. I'm definitely in a more somber and sad place today. I am excited to prepare my home for my family tomorrow...but there will be somebody missing. For the first time in my entire life...I will not be sharing Thanksgiving with Shirley. You prepare yourself for a lot of things that will happen in your life. But never that.

She will definitely be there with us tomorrow. I made sure we are surrounded by pictures of her and we will feel her love. I am going to pray tonight that we all will just make it through the day.

If you are not somebody I will see or talk to tomorrow...Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Please be safe and happy:)

Love,

Teresa

Here is the Stinker...

look how handsome he is. It was not easy to get this guy to pose and eventually he just gave up and started chewing on his bone. He's almost like a celebrity...he gets tired of the papparazzi always in his face and taking his picture.

I tried to have a talk with him last night on how bad dogs are supposed to behave when we have holiday dinners. I do not think he was listening at all. At one point, I am sure I heard snoring. Grrrrr...

The grocery shopping was done last night. All that is left to get is the giant turkey tomorrow night.

My stress was relieved a little this morning when I got an early morning phone call from Kathy. She has offered to bring over to me the green bean casserole and sweet potatoes. And she is not even eating dinner at our house. Thank you Kathy!!!!!

Love,

Teresa

I have a mixture

of emotions today. I knew all weekend that I would be sad today. But I worked so much that I didn't have a lot of time to think about it. But sure enough...I woke up crying this morning:( It doesn't matter whether I am thinking about it or not...just weird how the body and soul knows ...

So Teresa worked all freaking weekend and not preparing for Thanksgiving. Nothing was really accomplished toward putting Thanksgiving together. So the panic is starting to set in. We did get carpets cleaned and bad dog groomed. Oh my he is handsome. I didn't even think it was my dog when I picked him up. And he smelled soooo good. He is now ready to smell everyone's bottom and french kiss them when they show up on Thursday. Good luck!!!

I think you all should be thankful that you do not live with Teresa and have to deal with the stress in my house that they are all about to deal with. It's their own fault....they mess my house up. And do not do what I tell them to do. And if they knew me at all...they would just give me alcohol and it would all be better.

The kiddos did get to spend the weekend with grandma and grandpa. The helped my mom get her Christmas stuff in so that she can put her stuff up the day after Thanksgiving. And they played a lot of games. It sounds like they had a really good time.

O.K. so I guess that means I should get to work here so that I can eventually go home and do what needs to be done.

Have a beautiful day :P

Teresa

P.S. Lunch with Miss Kathy today...

New Moon...

the movie. It was pretty awesome. I really, really enjoyed it. Or maybe I just enjoyed the company. No, it was good and I had a blast with my mother. We went out to eat Chinese food first and then headed over to the theaters. We didn't have to wait in any lines outside...they put us in a nice theater with about 30 people. We didn't sit through previews or anything. Pretty cool.

It was a late night but well worth it. It's been a long time since I have spent time with just me and mom. And we are always very comfortable talking about our Shirley. There are not a lot of people I can do that with, but she is one of them. Very comforting.

And now the stress of my weekend!!!!! Any volunteers want to come and clean my house???? (why do I have a feeling everyone just logged off their computers???)

My boys are going out to my parents tomorrow to help mom get her Christmas decorations into the house. Mom never gets to put her stuff up right after Thanksgiving because everyone is busy doing their own thing. But this year we have planned ahead and are sending Nik and Jake out to get it out for her. Yay!!!!

I am hoping for a wonderful weekend for everyone else. Not sure it will happen for me...

Love,

Teresa:)

Pray for poor Teresa....waaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

I have been...

in bed for a couple of days. I definitely am not cut out to be a drug addict. The drugs my doctor gave me for pain a couple of days ago knocked me on my butt. It took me a day to recover from that. But I am back...

Yesterday was Kaitlyn Marie's first birthday. My niece who was given Shirley's middle name. That was very emotional for me last year and meant so much. We will be celebrating her birthday this weekend.

Tonight I am going to see The New Moon movie with mom. She has 2 passes and I get to go. I made sure to watch the first one the other night and I really enjoyed it. So I am definitely looking forward to a night out with mom tonight.

And of course...it is one week from today that we will be celebrating Thanksgiving. I am happy because my number for the amount of people that are coming keeps going up. I love hosting Thanksgiving...it will be nice.

Have an awesome day!!!

Teresa

It's Monday....

and the week before Thanksgiving....let the stress begin!!! It just hit me last night that this will be the week that I officially start my panicing...my poor family. There is a lot to do. I think right now my count is at 25 for dinner. I would actually love to have more. You just cannot have enough family for dinner on Thanksgiving.

The weekend was busy of course. Had a great dinner and night out for Steve's mom. That's what the picture is of. We also got our picture taken with an Elvis impersonator. You never know what you will see down on the Plaza on a Saturday night. It was really a great evening.

I am trying my best to have positive thoughts and not be sad for Thanksgiving. It's taking everything I have. I did read an article on grief during the holidays. It said not to ignore that the person is gone but to acknowledge it. I agree. It is so much harder to not talk about Shirley being gone than to actually talk about it. I do cry but it feels better than keeping those emotions in. So I am really trying to find a way to acknowledge Shirley at my Thanksgiving dinner without making everyone cry. Not sure how yet.

O.K....so the weather has also taken a turn. It's wonderful. Cold and wet. Looking for some snowflakes. :) Bad Doggie is looking for snow too....

Love,

Teresa

It was 21 years ago today...

that Steve and I got married. And everyone who knows Steve, knows how lucky I am. I remember last year that the first text message I got in the morning was from Shirley wishing me a happy anniversary. I also remember thinking that was the last time she would ever say that to me.

I'm not sure I would have ever made it through losing Shirley if it wasn't for Steve. The 9 days and nights I spent at hospice with Shirley would not have been possible. He would be there every morning and all day with me and then go home and take care of the kids and the bad doggie who was only a baby bad doggie at that time.

You have to take time to thank God for the people that he has given you...Steve is one of those people!!!! Just one. I have a lot. As Tear mentioned in the comments. I know how lucky I am. Sometimes I feel so sad and awful inside that I forget how lucky I am. But today I do know.

I love my husband more today than I ever could have imagined. I know how sad he has been since Shirley has been gone. He knew her as long as he knew me. We were all friends in school together. But he has been so strong and puts everyone else first.

Two weeks from today is Thanksgiving....aaaaahhhhhh STRESS!!!!!!

Love,

Teresa

I am laughing...

at the memory of when Shirley, Mom and I went to Springfield and we stopped at a restaurant for breakfast. By the time we were done with breakfast...Mom and Shirley had laughed so hard that they spit their drink out...we laughed so hard. And we would laugh every time we talked about it. From that point on...we would make sure to get out of the way if you were going to make one of them laugh with drinks in their mouth. The best part is ... I could make Shirley laugh just by looking at her. She thought Teresa was funny.

I'm emotional this week...but I'm fighting it. It's hard.

Love,

Teresa:=)

Not much to say today..

so I'm not really going to try.

I was trying to think of a memory I wanted to share about Shirley today and I did come up with one that isn't funny or sad. But it definitely makes me reflect on how much she cared about me and her family. The first year Steve and I were married, we were having to split time between families on Christmas. We were at mom and dad's and she heard me telling mom that. She came marching into the room and was very upset. She told me that our family came first...and she was going to be very angry if she did not get to spend time with me on Christmas Day. I remember really trying to make the situation better but no matter what I said, she was not backing down. I'm not sure how that turned out on Christmas. But I do know it is moments like that that made me love her as much as I did. And also value my family as much as I do. She was awesome!!!

I miss Shirley :(

Love,

Teresa

Blessed...

is how I feel. Which is odd considering how much I talk on here about how sad and lost I am without Shirley. But Friday night at Bunco...I felt blessed. I have never been the smartest cookie...and bunco requires 12 people...Teresa invited 13. I never counted myself. So I volunteered to sit out and watch. The group of people I have is just crazy. I have my sister-in-laws, my momma, my sister, my girlfriends from school, my girlfriends from work and friends I have made over the years. The fact that I have these people who want to spend time with me is a blessing. And the fact that they all get along and having a good time together once a month is a blessing.

I have realized that you have to find and appreciate your blessings or you will just sink into sorrow. Which I do many times a day. Don't let me fool you into thinking that all is just happy...it's not. It's important for me to focus as hard as I can on these good things because the next few weeks...that is what it is about. What are you thankful for? And I am so thankful for my friends and family. And God is showing me all the time how blessed I am. I just have to see it.

Saturday we took the kids and went with Tom, Cindy and Crystal to see a Christmas Carol. We loved it. Again...another reason to put me in the mood for the holidays. I'm not sure Tommy and Crystal enjoyed it, but the rest of us did.

House cleaning got started...getting the house prepared for the everyone on Thanksgiving.

Have a great day and count your blessings:)

I love you,

Teresa

Friday...

so happy!!! I just learned that Kathy is getting a new puppy this weekend. And she is adorable. That will help heal her family after losing both of their babies.

Tonight is Bunco. Definitely looking forward to that. I just never find enough time to talk to everyone. I hate that.

This week I have found myself worrying. I am worrying about my Aunt Connie and my grandma. Different health problems are affecting both of them...and I don't like it.

I have three weeks until Thanksgiving so I am really going to find time this weekend to start my insane crazy person cleaning. My kids and husband hate it. But I absolutely go insane. I want everything perfect. And it will take 3 weeks. The weather is going to be awesome so it will be perfect for that!!!

Can't wait to see all the girls tonight:)

Love,

Teresa

Pictures from Last Weekend...Good Times

Love my brothers:)

These pictures actually speak for themselves. Writing on this blog is definitely therapy for me...but so is getting together with these goofy people. It was a really good time and I can't wait for the next time. :)

Love,

Teresa

P.S. Had to get the bad dog in there too...he actually gets a little cranky if you sit in his chair. So now he will just sit on top of you. Grrrrr..