Lunch....

With Kathy:)

Mexican food...not Chinese. It was good. It's been over a week since I have seen her and our visit was desperately needed. Teresa was in need of some "sister" time. We talked non-stop (I know...hard to believe) for the entire hour. And we really were not done then. But...back to work. Thank you Kathy:)!!!!

Life is just kind of going along right now. Nice and calm. I think I should appreciate that more than I do. I did say to someone yesterday...between bouts of crying in my cube and missing Shirley...that I almost wish it was 15 years from now. So maybe the hurt of Shirley being gone for 15 years would be less than the hurt from her being gone for 6 months. Right now, the pain is really unbearable. Even saying the words that she is gone...feels wrong.

I know that there is no right or wrong way to feel. And everyone feels and reacts differently. I don't know what my future holds or what my family's future holds. I do pray every night that the pain gets a little easier. I feel selfish asking for that. I should hurt ... I hate her being gone more than I have hated anything in my life. I'm not sure I have ever felt the anger that I feel for her being gone with anything else in my life. But I do pray that it gets easier...and that life just keeps going the way it is...no major problems. Everyone healthy and happy.

I will say I can't wait for the day that I can hug her again and feel her hug me back. I can almost feel it right now.

Love,

Teresa