I don't think that, unless you have experienced it, how much somebody so close to you dying can affect your entire life. And I am speaking for me personally. I know that other people also in my family experienced this, but please let me say that I am only talking about me right now.
I did not only experience Shirley dying. I experienced her being told she was going to die, I watched her struggle with her treatments and pray with her that they would work, I watched the doctor tell her that there were no more treatments and she would die...and then I watched her die. Right in front of me. I woke up...and her lifeless body was right in front of me staring at me.
So the point of my blog today is that this has affected me in more ways than just being "sad Shirley is gone" or "sad I don't have my best friend".
Trying to deal with the rest of your life from that point on is very complicated. I'm sure anyone reading this and who has deal with that knows exactly what I am talking about. And then you have people who are stronger and can deal with it better. Much better than I can.
So please, if you love me, please understand that if I do things that are unexplainable or you just don't know why I would do them...it all goes back to that. I am not the same person. I'm not the person before Shirley...I am the person after Shirley.
Love,
Teresa
Our Angel
About Me
- Shirley Eichost
- I have a wonderful husband Mike that takes really good care of me (I couldn't of done anything without him)He is my strength! I have two wonderful and smart Children Sam (15) and Alex (13) both are very helpful. I love what I do as Systems Project Manager -enhance Billing Systems that benefit who uses them. Also have the best family in the world with 2 brothers and 3 sisters and a Great Mom and Dad that make life so much easier. Not to mention the support I get from so many of my friends and other family!
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3 comments:
Oh my gosh, Teresa..I cannot even imagine what you're going through right now, or the past year. It's so easy for everyone else to say, you need to do this or you need to do that...but all you can do is what you can do. Just know that you have many, many family and friends that love you and are here for you at any time. You just have to dig deep within your soul and figure out what is best for you. Just know that we all love you...
Dusty
Dear Sister of mine,
There is and should not be a reason to explain yourself. It is an a terrible feeling knowing that you can not fix or change the outcome but to sit and watch in unbelief the inevitable is coming and did happen before you. I know how helpless this feel watching my Mother n law and sister n laws go and their decision to go was so hard. I know how close you and Shirley were and everyone handles things differently when it comes to grief. The last thing I know you want to hear right now is it takes time but my dear Teresa it does.
I love you so much and feel saddened hearing you feel this way. My ears are always open and my shoulder is free to lean on or cry on.
Love Tear
In your infinite sadness...I wanted to let you know that Shirley's spirit lives on. About 6 months ago - I was moving around old boxes of pictures and one was sticking out further than all the others. It was a picture of Shirley at a Halloween party years and years ago - huge smile on her face. That picture was a clear message to me to cherish my friends and family every second of every day. Guess what? Another sign from her today - a business card was laying on the floor by my desk this morning - it must have fallen out as I shuffled things around in drawers last night. Business card: Shirley Francis, NIBS Data Integrity Analyst. :)
Missing her beautiful smile -
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