Went to Visit

I made my visit to Shirley's house yesterday. It sucked. I felt like she would come out of a room at any second. Or I would look at her couch and I could physically see her laying there in her sweats, her little purple cap on her head and knowing she felt so bad. And the feeling of helplessness was overwhelming again. Exactly how I felt when she was here. I did not feel her in that house. I do not want to go back. I got my picture of us and that is all I needed.

I did get to visit with mom and dad for awhile which is always good. They are very comforting. I had Alex for the whole weekend. He came over Friday night, the boys played their xbox 360 games and computer games and stayed up all night. And then Saturday we went bowling and watched KU beat up on some K-State Wildcats. Always a good day. I did make sure he got his valentine candy and card. I know Shirley would have wanted that. Thank you Tom for letting me have him.

Sunday after I did my visit and took Alex home, Nik, Jake and I went to visit Aunt Shirley. That wasn't as difficult as I imagined it would be. She has been gone 24 days and I could feel her spirit there more than at her house. And Kathy, Cindy, Mom and Bea....the geese flew over while we were there. It was awesome.

I had so many stories to tell her but I knew she already knew them. I am going to stop now or my computer is going to short out from the tears. I miss her more every day and am sadder every day. It becomes so much more real with every day that goes by.

I do love all of you. I love hearing from all of you. I have reconnected through email with an old friend from high school and it has really helped me quite a bit. Thank you Teresa (not me) for making that effort.

Love....as always....Teresa:)