Visiting Shirley's House

I couldn't sleep last night. Most people who know me know that I stay up late and sleep in late. Do not like mornings. Shirley was always so surprised at how late I could stay up and still get up and go to work in the morning. She would worry about me.

Well this morning I was awake by 7:30 and decided to take the super hyper crazy shedding golden retriever to Shawnee Mission Park for a walk. He got to see geese and deer for the first time. He loves meeting new friends at the dog part of the park. He wore his mommy out. But that was just a little blurb in this blog. He was just a distraction to keep me from laying in bed and crying and thinking of what I have to do today.

The main reason I am writing is because I am planning on visiting Shirley's home today for the first time since that Thursday that we decided to go to Hospice House and they wheeled her out on a stretcher and put her in an ambulance. I will never forget following that ambulance going about 80 mph and when we got there and I saw her I asked her "how was your ride" and she said "bumpy". I'm sure it was. I am going to her house today because at one of our chemo visits when I think she knew it was getting close, she asked mom, Kathy and I if there was anything in her house that we wanted. At the time I could not respond. I only wanted her. And I couldn't have that.

But there was something and I eventually told her. The year I turned 30 Shirley took me to Worlds of Fun. She knew that was one of my favorite things to do and we decided since we were getting older we should go ride every single ride out there. And we did. We got sick, but we did it. While we were there we got a caricature drawing done of us together. She had that framed and it has hung in her bedroom ever since. That is the most important thing I want so today I will go get that. It meant a lot to me that she kept that for this long.

I'm not sure I will visit that house much more in the future. My mother has told me that we have had a lot of good memories there. And we have. My parents were married there, we actually lived there for a couple of years when I was young and Shirley lived there for I guess about 18 years. We have had many parties there. But unfortunately it only takes one really bad memory to take over the good ones. Shirley had cancer there. So no I won't be going there much.

Today is Kathy's husband Mark's birthday. Happy Birthday Mark.

I hope everyone is recovering as well as they can. I know that I cry everday. I talk to her everyday. I held a baby who had red hair this week and thought of Shirley. I held Kaitlyn Marie this weekend and thought of Shirley.

One last thing, Mom told me that a friend that Shirley went to school with came by her house this weekend. Her class had all raised money they wanted to go to the kids. They raised around $900. People are amazing. And we are so grateful to all of you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Love,

Teresa