It is easy when you leave town...

to just forget the bad things that have happened to you. There are so many reminders that surround me every second of every day that Shirley is not here anymore. When I was in Mexico...I didn't have that. And I hate to say it was a relief..but emotionally it was. I could push the sadness away for just a little bit.

Now that I am back...the sleepless nights have started up again. Realizing that I am crying and I don't even know when it started...and finding myself just sitting staring into space thinking back to how much fun we had and how much I miss her friendship. That's really what I wanted to come out in my blog today. I miss her friendship. The one person I was the most comfortable with and could tell anything to. That's what I miss. She loved Teresa for Teresa...she knew me better than anyone and loved me anyway. I know a lot of people in my life say that they feel that way about me as well...and I appreciate it. But I knew 100% there was no judgment no matter what I did or how I acted. There was always undertstanding.

People have asked me what would Shirley think of me getting this tattoo. And what keeps coming to my mind is that I did not get it for her. I got it for me. Of course she would not want me to get a tattoo ... especially with her name. But she would understand why I did it. And if the situation was different...somebody else close to me had died and I did it with their name...she would think it was awesome. She may not have always approved of everything I did...but she always understood that it was me...and that made me feel good.

O.K. enough crybabying for today. I am going to dinner with my girlfriends tonight. I love that.

Have a great day and be careful in the cold...it's freezing!!!

Love,

Teresa