The Day At Shirley's

Today was spent mostly at Shirley's house. Mom was already there when I got there. Shirley was in bed. She had a rough night. Up all night going potty. But I guess the good news is that she did go potty. That's very important right now. Unfortunately it wiped her out. She got up around 11:30. When she came out of her bedroom I was standing at the end of the hall. She looked at me with the oddest look like "who are you". And then it registered. I got a little smile out of her. She was up for about 5 minutes to take some medicine and then went back to bed. Shortly after that a hospice nurse arrived. She gave Shirley a thorough check up and was very nice. She even offered to send someone to give Shirley a massage. Shirley seemed to like that. So hopefully that will happen. After the nurse left, Shirley went back to bed.

Kathy showed up at lunch time and by then Mike was home from work. Mom left after that to do some errands. We sat around and talked for a few hours. Shirley never really got up anymore. She was very nauseated and just not feeling good. Tommy stopped by for a few minutes to check in on her.

Shortly after that Kathy and I left for the day. It was hard to leave knowing she had not eaten anything or hardly drank anything. We kissed her goodbye and told her we would be back in the morning. Bedroom furniture is supposed to be delivered in the morning, so we will spend the day getting Shirley's room in order.

Mike did say this evening she ate a little bit of applesauce. I'm not sure that makes me feel any better. But it is something. Let's just hope and pray for a better day tomorrow. She seems to be getting worse every day. Will she bounce back a little, I have no idea. We will just pray for comfort and peace for Shirley.

Teresa

Update

Okay, today my update isn't the greatest. Kathy and I went to visit Shirley this afternoon and she wasn't doing so great. She was very weak when we got there and unfortunately one of Shirley's biggest problems has to do with her bowels. If they are not working, Shirley is in a lot of pain. And unfortunately, they are currently not working. If this stuff can't come out one way, it will come out another. And today it came out in the form of vomiting. She actually vomits up the bile. It's awful. So we called the hospice nurse because our methods of making Shirley go potty were not working. Let's hope they can get this taken care of.

Shirley is definitely getting weaker. She sleeps most of the time we are there. Very little conversation. Kathy and I try to talk and keep her spirits up ...I don't know how good we do. At one point, Shirley looked at us and said "so what time are you coming tomorrow". And at that point, we were planning on working. I think we have changed our minds and we will be with her tomorrow. I don't know how much time we have, but I know that I feel the need to be close to her all the time. To take care of her and love her.

Kathy was very sweet and bought her some new cloth caps to wear. She was very, very happy to get those.

At one moment when we were there and Shirley was getting sick, Kathy and I were helping her and taking care of her. It made me feel so content inside to know that we were there for her. I know Mike and Mom take care of her all of the time, but I was happy we could do a little bit. I would spend every second with her if I could.

I did tell her how much everyone is thinking of her and praying for her. She smiled...so I know that made her feel good. I will be there tomorrow with her and doing whatever I can. Keep praying for us. We love you all!!!

Love

Teresa

My Visit With Shirley

Tonight I went out to mom and dad's and they treated me to dinner. My favorite...Chinese!!! Delicious. We had a very nice dinner and it's been a long time since I went to dinner alone with mom and dad. I enjoyed it a lot.

Then mom and I went up to see Shirley. She was just sitting down to dinner. Mike had made her salmon, corn and potatoes. She actually ate several bites. And we had good conversation. We mostly talked about our dogs and our kids. The normal stuff. She does seem very weak. So weak that she has a hard time even clearing her throat. Other than that, it was a good visit.

I normally try to write how I am feeling on this blog or how Shirley is doing or how my family is doing. I do want to make a statement on here. How much Shirley loves Mike and how much Mike loves Shirley. It is very obvious how much they love each other. Mike does an excellent job of taking care of Shirley every day. I do know that Shirley wants everyone to know how hard he works at taking care of everything. And my family respects and loves Mike for everything he does for her and Mike will forever be a part of our family. He is now trying to go back to work and I know that is hard. He is still recovering from his own injuries when he had his motorcycle wreck. I don't know that we always recognize him for the hard work he does put in, but I do know that Shirley did find the love of her life when Mike came along and I will always be grateful for that.

I do have some pictures to put on the blog but unfortunately my cord to my camera is not working. So I am going to try to replace that and get those pictures on here.

Kathy and I plan on going out again tomorrow and visiting. I can't wait!!!!

Love,

Teresa

Sad

I'm sad. I decided to call Shirley's house and see how she is doing. Mom put Shirley on the phone and it made me so sad. We have gone from sisters who could talk and laugh every day on the phone to her barely being able to speak.

I don't update as much, because there really isn't much of a change. I apologize. It's not very interesting if I just keep repeating myself. I know everyone loves Shirley and is thinking about her and praying for her. Please keep doing that and I will keep udating.

Kathy and mom are with Shirley right now. Kathy brought Chinese for lunch. Again, I can't express how awesome our family is in supporting each other. It is so comforting knowing that they are with her right now.

I did watch Patrick Swayze's interview with Barbara Walters last night. He got diagnosed about the same time Shirley did last year. He has Pancreatic Cancer and Shirley has Bile Duct Cancer. They are very similar. As a matter of fact, they don't have treatment for Shirley's cancer so they treat it as though it is Pancreatic Cancer. He was very inspirational and very honest. It was really a weird feeling listening to him because I could relate to every single thing he was saying.

I am praying for Shirley all the time. I felt a deep sense of sadness when I hung up the phone today. I didn't even recognize that person I was talking to. But I knew it was her. And that is enough. I will take that. It's all I have.

Teresa

Pictures

Hey everyone. I have occasionally posted some pictures on the website for everyone to enjoy. Unfortunately, right now, if I posted a picture of Shirley, she just might find the energy to kill me. I had to promise that whatever pictures I have taken will not make it to the world wide web.

On that note, if anyone has a picture Of Miss Shirley that they have taken and that they would like to share, please email me, I would be glad to put it on here. tnoland@hermeslandscaping.com


I don't have an update yet today. Mom is on her way there and I will update when I know more. Let's pray for a good day:)

Teresa

Update

I know it's been a few days since I have updated, but unfortunately there isn't much to tell. Shirley is deteriorating it seems. Not ever having been through this, it's difficult to really comprehend what is going on.

She has no energy. She moves from her couch to her bed or her bed to her couch. She eats very little. A few bites a day. She has a lot of nausea. We go and visit but there isn't much conversation. We just all talk around her and she listens. It's hard to tell what is going on in her mind. She's very quiet.

Mike is still working on the bedroom. It turned out to be a bigger project than he though, but I will post pictures as soon as it's done. He goes back to work tomorrow and mom will take over as the daytime caregiver. Who better to take care of you than your mom.

Please keep praying for Shirley and our family. Pray for her to have peace and to be as comfortable as possible. No pain, no nausea.

Love,

Teresa

January 1, 2009

and today was a good day. Kathy and I spent New Year's Eve together. I really thought I just wanted to spend it alone this year but the closer it got, the more I wanted to be with my family. I am so glad Kathy came over. And then, unexpectedly, at midnight my phone rang. It was Shirley. We were all so excited. It was awesome. The kids all had a great time together.

I will always remember that when we rang in 2008 we were all together in my house having a fun party just like we had done for several years. Not knowing what the year had to bring. Happy and carefree and excited for the new year. I know now that I was very naive. You just think things will go on as they are forever. I'm not like that anymore. I don't think any of us are.

Today was spent at mom and dad's eating ham and beans. It was a really nice afternoon and a good way to start the year. And of course, I came home without my boys. They talked grandma into letting them stay until Saturday. I hope they get some work out of them.

Shirley came for about an hour. She ate a little, listened to all of us talk and then was ready to go. Mike is actually fixing her bedroom up for her. He bought her a beautiful new bedroom set and is repainting the bedroom. He figured since she was spending so much time in there, it should be how she likes it. I agree. She will love it.

Everyone will be happy to hear that Shirley was good today. Well as good as she can be. She sat at the table with us and for a little while you try to pretend like it's the way things used to be. It wasn't that long ago that Shirley was healthy and able to join in all the fun at mom and dad's kitchen table. It's not really like that anymore, but that's ok. As long as we can still hug and kiss her, it's ok. And today I could do that. I hugged her, I kissed her and I told her I loved her. So, it was a good day.

Happy New Year.

Love,

Teresa