It's Monday....

and the week before Thanksgiving....let the stress begin!!! It just hit me last night that this will be the week that I officially start my panicing...my poor family. There is a lot to do. I think right now my count is at 25 for dinner. I would actually love to have more. You just cannot have enough family for dinner on Thanksgiving.

The weekend was busy of course. Had a great dinner and night out for Steve's mom. That's what the picture is of. We also got our picture taken with an Elvis impersonator. You never know what you will see down on the Plaza on a Saturday night. It was really a great evening.

I am trying my best to have positive thoughts and not be sad for Thanksgiving. It's taking everything I have. I did read an article on grief during the holidays. It said not to ignore that the person is gone but to acknowledge it. I agree. It is so much harder to not talk about Shirley being gone than to actually talk about it. I do cry but it feels better than keeping those emotions in. So I am really trying to find a way to acknowledge Shirley at my Thanksgiving dinner without making everyone cry. Not sure how yet.

O.K....so the weather has also taken a turn. It's wonderful. Cold and wet. Looking for some snowflakes. :) Bad Doggie is looking for snow too....

Love,

Teresa

It was 21 years ago today...

that Steve and I got married. And everyone who knows Steve, knows how lucky I am. I remember last year that the first text message I got in the morning was from Shirley wishing me a happy anniversary. I also remember thinking that was the last time she would ever say that to me.

I'm not sure I would have ever made it through losing Shirley if it wasn't for Steve. The 9 days and nights I spent at hospice with Shirley would not have been possible. He would be there every morning and all day with me and then go home and take care of the kids and the bad doggie who was only a baby bad doggie at that time.

You have to take time to thank God for the people that he has given you...Steve is one of those people!!!! Just one. I have a lot. As Tear mentioned in the comments. I know how lucky I am. Sometimes I feel so sad and awful inside that I forget how lucky I am. But today I do know.

I love my husband more today than I ever could have imagined. I know how sad he has been since Shirley has been gone. He knew her as long as he knew me. We were all friends in school together. But he has been so strong and puts everyone else first.

Two weeks from today is Thanksgiving....aaaaahhhhhh STRESS!!!!!!

Love,

Teresa

I am laughing...

at the memory of when Shirley, Mom and I went to Springfield and we stopped at a restaurant for breakfast. By the time we were done with breakfast...Mom and Shirley had laughed so hard that they spit their drink out...we laughed so hard. And we would laugh every time we talked about it. From that point on...we would make sure to get out of the way if you were going to make one of them laugh with drinks in their mouth. The best part is ... I could make Shirley laugh just by looking at her. She thought Teresa was funny.

I'm emotional this week...but I'm fighting it. It's hard.

Love,

Teresa:=)

Not much to say today..

so I'm not really going to try.

I was trying to think of a memory I wanted to share about Shirley today and I did come up with one that isn't funny or sad. But it definitely makes me reflect on how much she cared about me and her family. The first year Steve and I were married, we were having to split time between families on Christmas. We were at mom and dad's and she heard me telling mom that. She came marching into the room and was very upset. She told me that our family came first...and she was going to be very angry if she did not get to spend time with me on Christmas Day. I remember really trying to make the situation better but no matter what I said, she was not backing down. I'm not sure how that turned out on Christmas. But I do know it is moments like that that made me love her as much as I did. And also value my family as much as I do. She was awesome!!!

I miss Shirley :(

Love,

Teresa

Blessed...

is how I feel. Which is odd considering how much I talk on here about how sad and lost I am without Shirley. But Friday night at Bunco...I felt blessed. I have never been the smartest cookie...and bunco requires 12 people...Teresa invited 13. I never counted myself. So I volunteered to sit out and watch. The group of people I have is just crazy. I have my sister-in-laws, my momma, my sister, my girlfriends from school, my girlfriends from work and friends I have made over the years. The fact that I have these people who want to spend time with me is a blessing. And the fact that they all get along and having a good time together once a month is a blessing.

I have realized that you have to find and appreciate your blessings or you will just sink into sorrow. Which I do many times a day. Don't let me fool you into thinking that all is just happy...it's not. It's important for me to focus as hard as I can on these good things because the next few weeks...that is what it is about. What are you thankful for? And I am so thankful for my friends and family. And God is showing me all the time how blessed I am. I just have to see it.

Saturday we took the kids and went with Tom, Cindy and Crystal to see a Christmas Carol. We loved it. Again...another reason to put me in the mood for the holidays. I'm not sure Tommy and Crystal enjoyed it, but the rest of us did.

House cleaning got started...getting the house prepared for the everyone on Thanksgiving.

Have a great day and count your blessings:)

I love you,

Teresa

Friday...

so happy!!! I just learned that Kathy is getting a new puppy this weekend. And she is adorable. That will help heal her family after losing both of their babies.

Tonight is Bunco. Definitely looking forward to that. I just never find enough time to talk to everyone. I hate that.

This week I have found myself worrying. I am worrying about my Aunt Connie and my grandma. Different health problems are affecting both of them...and I don't like it.

I have three weeks until Thanksgiving so I am really going to find time this weekend to start my insane crazy person cleaning. My kids and husband hate it. But I absolutely go insane. I want everything perfect. And it will take 3 weeks. The weather is going to be awesome so it will be perfect for that!!!

Can't wait to see all the girls tonight:)

Love,

Teresa

Pictures from Last Weekend...Good Times

Love my brothers:)

These pictures actually speak for themselves. Writing on this blog is definitely therapy for me...but so is getting together with these goofy people. It was a really good time and I can't wait for the next time. :)

Love,

Teresa

P.S. Had to get the bad dog in there too...he actually gets a little cranky if you sit in his chair. So now he will just sit on top of you. Grrrrr..