Not much to say today..

so I'm not really going to try.

I was trying to think of a memory I wanted to share about Shirley today and I did come up with one that isn't funny or sad. But it definitely makes me reflect on how much she cared about me and her family. The first year Steve and I were married, we were having to split time between families on Christmas. We were at mom and dad's and she heard me telling mom that. She came marching into the room and was very upset. She told me that our family came first...and she was going to be very angry if she did not get to spend time with me on Christmas Day. I remember really trying to make the situation better but no matter what I said, she was not backing down. I'm not sure how that turned out on Christmas. But I do know it is moments like that that made me love her as much as I did. And also value my family as much as I do. She was awesome!!!

I miss Shirley :(

Love,

Teresa

Blessed...

is how I feel. Which is odd considering how much I talk on here about how sad and lost I am without Shirley. But Friday night at Bunco...I felt blessed. I have never been the smartest cookie...and bunco requires 12 people...Teresa invited 13. I never counted myself. So I volunteered to sit out and watch. The group of people I have is just crazy. I have my sister-in-laws, my momma, my sister, my girlfriends from school, my girlfriends from work and friends I have made over the years. The fact that I have these people who want to spend time with me is a blessing. And the fact that they all get along and having a good time together once a month is a blessing.

I have realized that you have to find and appreciate your blessings or you will just sink into sorrow. Which I do many times a day. Don't let me fool you into thinking that all is just happy...it's not. It's important for me to focus as hard as I can on these good things because the next few weeks...that is what it is about. What are you thankful for? And I am so thankful for my friends and family. And God is showing me all the time how blessed I am. I just have to see it.

Saturday we took the kids and went with Tom, Cindy and Crystal to see a Christmas Carol. We loved it. Again...another reason to put me in the mood for the holidays. I'm not sure Tommy and Crystal enjoyed it, but the rest of us did.

House cleaning got started...getting the house prepared for the everyone on Thanksgiving.

Have a great day and count your blessings:)

I love you,

Teresa

Friday...

so happy!!! I just learned that Kathy is getting a new puppy this weekend. And she is adorable. That will help heal her family after losing both of their babies.

Tonight is Bunco. Definitely looking forward to that. I just never find enough time to talk to everyone. I hate that.

This week I have found myself worrying. I am worrying about my Aunt Connie and my grandma. Different health problems are affecting both of them...and I don't like it.

I have three weeks until Thanksgiving so I am really going to find time this weekend to start my insane crazy person cleaning. My kids and husband hate it. But I absolutely go insane. I want everything perfect. And it will take 3 weeks. The weather is going to be awesome so it will be perfect for that!!!

Can't wait to see all the girls tonight:)

Love,

Teresa

Pictures from Last Weekend...Good Times

Love my brothers:)

These pictures actually speak for themselves. Writing on this blog is definitely therapy for me...but so is getting together with these goofy people. It was a really good time and I can't wait for the next time. :)

Love,

Teresa

P.S. Had to get the bad dog in there too...he actually gets a little cranky if you sit in his chair. So now he will just sit on top of you. Grrrrr..

Nobody wants to talk about it...

but the holidays are really going to be tough. Last year at this time...Shirley was starting to fail. We still had some hope but it was becoming obvious what was happening. Not ever losing anyone in my life this significant...I don't know how we will deal with not having her this year. This blog is a good place for me to talk about that. We are 3 weeks away from Thanksgiving and she is constantly on my mind. Especially the fact that she just will not be here for the first time in my life. Little things like not having Shirley's sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving...that hurts so much. I always would tell her to show up as early as possible so we could spend extra time together. I will say that I am not going to stop myself from crying. I hate holding that in. I hated sending out my email to invite everyone ...and her not being on that list.

How the heck am I going to get through this? I know I will...I just do not know how.

Love,

Teresa

Looking Back...

and this was not a really good time for our family. I read some of the blog from a year ago and I can see now that things were getting ready to take a devastating turn. I know that I knew this..but we were all in denial.

I would rather be there....than here.

Love,

Teresa

It's a Happy Day...

Christmas music started. It makes me feel so good. People are constantly telling me it's too early...too early to feel good? Too early for happiness? That's what Christmas brings. It's never too early. We had our little lighting ceremony last night at our house. And it was happy. There will be enough sadness this year without our Shirley. We need to bring as much happiness as we can to try to help the sadness.

This weekend was a good weekend. Friday night was spent celebrating Ms. Niki's birthday. And then we went out with the family. Crazy kids. There was a lot of laughing. I remember that. I love that we can all get together and just let loose and have fun. We were doing a lot of talking about our trip to Mexico. I am getting so excited for that. I know we could all use it. I hate that mom and dad and Kathy and Mark will not be joining us. We will have to plan another trip in the future for all of us.

Leanna made it back home safely. It was awesome having her here for the short time that we had her. Very, very, very sweet girl. I love her with all of my heart.

Saturday was Halloween...yuck. Thank God it's over.

So, let's start another busy week. I have already imagined Shirley calling me to tell me my music has started. She would always help me listen for it...She knew what made me happy.
I do that a lot. Act out in my head what would happen if she was here. I smile and cry....


Love,

Teresa