Update...

Had lunch with the lovely ladies... good time. As we were sitting there...I just happened to notice that we were all wearing our Shirley bracelets. I had to get a picture.

They wanted to do a contest and see if you could guess the person each hand belongs to. Good luck.

Love,

Teresa

I am excited...

for lunch and dinner. And not for the food. Although I believe they will both be Chinese ...and that is like heaven for me. I am eating lunch with Mom, Kathy, Cindy and Leanna. Yay!!!! And dinner is with my girlfriends tonight. These lunches and dinners always seem to come right when I need them. I need some hugs.

I woke up crying really hard about 3:00 this morning. And this cry was a Shirley cry. I don't know about everyone else...but there is a different cry that you have when it is for someone you have lost. I didn't know that before I lost her. But that is the cry that I woke up to at 3:00. I don't remember having any dreams...but somewhere in my sleep...she was in my thoughts. I never went back to sleep.

When I started this post and when I write other posts...if I ever write that I am excited or happy...it is immediately followed with guilt. I don't really want people to think that I am happy. That makes me feel bad. Because really I am just sad. But I think we all mask that and put on our happy face. I know that I am not alone in this. And what's weird is when I was looking at the pictures from the weekend...everyone is laughing ...but when I look at each person individually...I know behind the laughter how much sadness is there. Who could guess that one person could have that kind of impact. But you all know her...so you understand. And I am happy...but I am more sad. I am not sure if that makes any sense at all.

But thanks for reading and letting me say what I need to say.

Maybe I will get pictures at lunch...and dinner:)

Love,

Teresa

Pictures from the Weekend...

Leanna & Teresa (short hair)

What dorks!!! See what I have to put up with!

Poor Sam!!!

That's not how you catch Shrimp..that's cheating!

Alex looks terrified!!!

Heyyyyy!!!

I wish I could say they were drunk...but they weren't.

Again...Poor Sam...

Outside my house...it's beautiful!

Crazy...Crazy...Crazy

Life!!!! That is the only way to describe it. My whole weekend was just a blur. And the worst part is I have great pictures from the weekend...and I don't have my cord to hook up to my computer. I promise I will find it and share them with you all. There were some really good times this weekend and deserved to be seen on here.

First let's start with the most important...Steve and I finally did our passports. Tom and Cindy and Tim and Bea have had theirs for months. The pressure was on. But we finally went Saturday morning and did it. Yay!!! Now, let's hope we do not show up on any terrorist list and get denied. wait...maybe I am hoping we do secretly..so I don't have to fly.

Second...Teresa got all her hair cut off. About 8 inches. Now, let me start with Shirley would never approve of that. She wanted my hair long. But when you are looking for some sort of change in your life...you go with what is available. And that was it. I really like it and I think she would too. It kind of reminds me of what her hair looked like last year when she cut hers off right before she lost it due to chemo. I am just going to hope she would like it.:)

Third...We went to dinner and a movie with Tom, Cindy, Tim, Bea, Nik, Jake, Alex and Sam Saturday night. So much fun. We went to a Japanese restaurant and sat at the Habachi. We had food thrown at us and just had a great time. Then we went to see Paranormal Activity...a scary movie the kids wanted us to see. Scary movies for teenagers is completely different than a scary movie for an adult. Lots of teenagers screaming...I of course did get scared but I don't think anyone else did. I ended this night with Alex coming home with me and spending the night. I love him so much that I cannot put it into words.

Lastly...we all gathered at Tom and Cindy's on Sunday to celebrate Brandon turning 20. And Leanna came to town. It was the best!! We were so excited to see her. She is an awesome girl and we love her so much. I am sure that Brandon had a great birthday. He is also an awesome guy and we could not be more proud of him. Tom and Cindy ... you guys did good. :) I was very proud of Crystal...she was there the whole time helping out her momma. Good girl.

I cannot write all of this and tell you that I did not miss Shirley this weekend. Sometimes, it was overwhelming. When I would sit on the couch...I could almost feel her next to me. Because at those times, we alway sat by each other...and giggled or just talked. I also, yesterday, would hear mom talking about her...and I love that. She needs to be a part of all of this stuff even though she is not here. It's just not the same and it's not fair. My family is so awesome...they do not deserve any of this...she should be with us.

So, the weekend is over. I think we are all planning to go out Friday night and celebrate Leanna's last night here. So ...I better rest up.

I love you all....

Teresa

P.S. Bad dog definitely got ignored this weekend...we better go for a run tonight:)

Rain makes me sleepy...

it was so hard to get out of bed. And you know who (bad dog) was trying to talk me into calling into work. Trust me...those big sad sleepy eyes...I almost did it. But the boss is gone...so why not just come in and goof off. Yeah right.

It's funny...I realized when we were running last night...I kept saying "Good Sue...Good dog". About the 10th time I said it I started laughing out loud. Because I always call him the bad dog. He definitely has learned how to jog. 3 days and he is awesome at it.

We have a really, really busy weekend ahead of us. Saturday the most important thing...getting my hair done. And then some of us are meeting up Saturday evening to see a scary movie. Not all of us will be going...because some of us are chickens!!!! I am hoping we can still talk everyone into going. I know Tommy, Cindy, Timmy and Steve and I are going. We will see about the rest.

Sunday...we are getting together at Tommy and Cindy's house for Brandon's birthday coming up. And Leanna will be here Sunday!!!! We are all excited about that. I was looking at her Facebook page today and just browsing through her pictures. And then I saw it....she was wearing her Shirley bracelet. I have no idea why that made me cry...but it did. I see the ladies here in Kansas City wearing them...but I didn't know about everyone else. It was just so unexpected and caught me off guard. Thank you Leanna:)

I hope everyone who has one is wearing it. It just might give you the chance to talk about her. Tomorrow might not be so good. It will be 9 months...and it's a Friday. She left on a Friday. It just is too much of a reminder. Just have to get through it.

Have a great rainy day!!!!

Love,

Teresa

Last year was really bad...

not too many bright spots. We had a few here and there. But from the time Shirley got diagnosed in March until she passed away in January, it pretty much sucked. I definitely did have one good thing. Steve hired some guys to hang Christmas lights on my house last year. I love Christmas lights. And they definitely made me happy. This morning, when I was leaving my house, 3 guys were hanging my Christmas lights again. Yay!!! It made me happy. Shirley was so excited for me. She knew how much I would love it. And I know it's early...but they have to be up for Thanksgiving.

And, in case you are wondering, Teresa and the bad dog went running again. Bad dog did really, really good last night. I was pretty proud of him. We only had one incident when a little boy saw bad dog and wanted to pet him. So, me being super excited for the break, was happy to bring him over for a little lovin. Bad dog laid down in the grass, rolled over and was very happy to be rubbed on. Everything was going good...until the grizzly bear came out in him and a nail swiped the little boys tummy. No damage was done, no tears were shed...but that was enough. Time to get back on the road. We both about passed out when we got home.

I know how out of shape I am, and I knew I would be sore, but I had no idea that running would make every single part of my body would be in excruciating pain from the neck down. I even gave bad dog a doggie massage just in case he hurt too.

Have a great day:)

Love,

Teresa

Serious Injury...

is in my future. Saturday Steve's brother Joe ran in a half marathon. It was amazing to see how many people are out there running. I am sure that most of the people who are running are doing it to stay healthy and maybe get in shape. But the longer I stood on the side watching these people, I realized that a lot of people are running for something else. There were people crying as they finished, there were people wearing shirts that symbolized a loved one, or a cancer they were running for. And there were sisters and best friends holding hands as they crossed that finish line. It was very emotional and very inspirational. Steve and I actually both got emotional and were on the verge of crying.

O.K. regardless, I have become somewhat inspired. So last night, bad dog and I went out for a run. First time for both of us. I am sure everyone who was watching, got a good laugh. It was a lot of work to keep the bad dog from smelling every single pee spot along the way, or every pile of poop. Oh, and then half way through, he decided to crash out in somebody's yard. He had what I call "paralyzed legs". They were stretched out as far behind him as they could go and he was doing a belly crawl across the yard. Ridiculous.

I hope I keep it up. I am really going to make an effort. I need to get in better shape, the bad dog needs to get some exercise...grrrrr....

I don't know if I am actually running for any purpose specifically. I know that Shirley definitely will motivate me. I would like to think maybe I am running for her. She can be my reason. She would be the best reason in the whole world. Friday it will be 9 months since she left us. This might help me get through those bad days.

Have a wonderful day:) I love you.

Teresa

P.S.

Oh and Leanna comes to town this weekend!!! Yea!!!