Here is the super hyper, super shedding, super high maintenance golden retriever. Boy named Sue....what else can you expect. He's great therapy. I recommend a dog to every person on earth.
February 16, 2009
Went to Visit
I made my visit to Shirley's house yesterday. It sucked. I felt like she would come out of a room at any second. Or I would look at her couch and I could physically see her laying there in her sweats, her little purple cap on her head and knowing she felt so bad. And the feeling of helplessness was overwhelming again. Exactly how I felt when she was here. I did not feel her in that house. I do not want to go back. I got my picture of us and that is all I needed.
I did get to visit with mom and dad for awhile which is always good. They are very comforting. I had Alex for the whole weekend. He came over Friday night, the boys played their xbox 360 games and computer games and stayed up all night. And then Saturday we went bowling and watched KU beat up on some K-State Wildcats. Always a good day. I did make sure he got his valentine candy and card. I know Shirley would have wanted that. Thank you Tom for letting me have him.
Sunday after I did my visit and took Alex home, Nik, Jake and I went to visit Aunt Shirley. That wasn't as difficult as I imagined it would be. She has been gone 24 days and I could feel her spirit there more than at her house. And Kathy, Cindy, Mom and Bea....the geese flew over while we were there. It was awesome.
I had so many stories to tell her but I knew she already knew them. I am going to stop now or my computer is going to short out from the tears. I miss her more every day and am sadder every day. It becomes so much more real with every day that goes by.
I do love all of you. I love hearing from all of you. I have reconnected through email with an old friend from high school and it has really helped me quite a bit. Thank you Teresa (not me) for making that effort.
Love....as always....Teresa:)
I did get to visit with mom and dad for awhile which is always good. They are very comforting. I had Alex for the whole weekend. He came over Friday night, the boys played their xbox 360 games and computer games and stayed up all night. And then Saturday we went bowling and watched KU beat up on some K-State Wildcats. Always a good day. I did make sure he got his valentine candy and card. I know Shirley would have wanted that. Thank you Tom for letting me have him.
Sunday after I did my visit and took Alex home, Nik, Jake and I went to visit Aunt Shirley. That wasn't as difficult as I imagined it would be. She has been gone 24 days and I could feel her spirit there more than at her house. And Kathy, Cindy, Mom and Bea....the geese flew over while we were there. It was awesome.
I had so many stories to tell her but I knew she already knew them. I am going to stop now or my computer is going to short out from the tears. I miss her more every day and am sadder every day. It becomes so much more real with every day that goes by.
I do love all of you. I love hearing from all of you. I have reconnected through email with an old friend from high school and it has really helped me quite a bit. Thank you Teresa (not me) for making that effort.
Love....as always....Teresa:)
February 15, 2009
Visiting Shirley's House
I couldn't sleep last night. Most people who know me know that I stay up late and sleep in late. Do not like mornings. Shirley was always so surprised at how late I could stay up and still get up and go to work in the morning. She would worry about me.
Well this morning I was awake by 7:30 and decided to take the super hyper crazy shedding golden retriever to Shawnee Mission Park for a walk. He got to see geese and deer for the first time. He loves meeting new friends at the dog part of the park. He wore his mommy out. But that was just a little blurb in this blog. He was just a distraction to keep me from laying in bed and crying and thinking of what I have to do today.
The main reason I am writing is because I am planning on visiting Shirley's home today for the first time since that Thursday that we decided to go to Hospice House and they wheeled her out on a stretcher and put her in an ambulance. I will never forget following that ambulance going about 80 mph and when we got there and I saw her I asked her "how was your ride" and she said "bumpy". I'm sure it was. I am going to her house today because at one of our chemo visits when I think she knew it was getting close, she asked mom, Kathy and I if there was anything in her house that we wanted. At the time I could not respond. I only wanted her. And I couldn't have that.
But there was something and I eventually told her. The year I turned 30 Shirley took me to Worlds of Fun. She knew that was one of my favorite things to do and we decided since we were getting older we should go ride every single ride out there. And we did. We got sick, but we did it. While we were there we got a caricature drawing done of us together. She had that framed and it has hung in her bedroom ever since. That is the most important thing I want so today I will go get that. It meant a lot to me that she kept that for this long.
I'm not sure I will visit that house much more in the future. My mother has told me that we have had a lot of good memories there. And we have. My parents were married there, we actually lived there for a couple of years when I was young and Shirley lived there for I guess about 18 years. We have had many parties there. But unfortunately it only takes one really bad memory to take over the good ones. Shirley had cancer there. So no I won't be going there much.
Today is Kathy's husband Mark's birthday. Happy Birthday Mark.
I hope everyone is recovering as well as they can. I know that I cry everday. I talk to her everyday. I held a baby who had red hair this week and thought of Shirley. I held Kaitlyn Marie this weekend and thought of Shirley.
One last thing, Mom told me that a friend that Shirley went to school with came by her house this weekend. Her class had all raised money they wanted to go to the kids. They raised around $900. People are amazing. And we are so grateful to all of you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Love,
Teresa
Well this morning I was awake by 7:30 and decided to take the super hyper crazy shedding golden retriever to Shawnee Mission Park for a walk. He got to see geese and deer for the first time. He loves meeting new friends at the dog part of the park. He wore his mommy out. But that was just a little blurb in this blog. He was just a distraction to keep me from laying in bed and crying and thinking of what I have to do today.
The main reason I am writing is because I am planning on visiting Shirley's home today for the first time since that Thursday that we decided to go to Hospice House and they wheeled her out on a stretcher and put her in an ambulance. I will never forget following that ambulance going about 80 mph and when we got there and I saw her I asked her "how was your ride" and she said "bumpy". I'm sure it was. I am going to her house today because at one of our chemo visits when I think she knew it was getting close, she asked mom, Kathy and I if there was anything in her house that we wanted. At the time I could not respond. I only wanted her. And I couldn't have that.
But there was something and I eventually told her. The year I turned 30 Shirley took me to Worlds of Fun. She knew that was one of my favorite things to do and we decided since we were getting older we should go ride every single ride out there. And we did. We got sick, but we did it. While we were there we got a caricature drawing done of us together. She had that framed and it has hung in her bedroom ever since. That is the most important thing I want so today I will go get that. It meant a lot to me that she kept that for this long.
I'm not sure I will visit that house much more in the future. My mother has told me that we have had a lot of good memories there. And we have. My parents were married there, we actually lived there for a couple of years when I was young and Shirley lived there for I guess about 18 years. We have had many parties there. But unfortunately it only takes one really bad memory to take over the good ones. Shirley had cancer there. So no I won't be going there much.
Today is Kathy's husband Mark's birthday. Happy Birthday Mark.
I hope everyone is recovering as well as they can. I know that I cry everday. I talk to her everyday. I held a baby who had red hair this week and thought of Shirley. I held Kaitlyn Marie this weekend and thought of Shirley.
One last thing, Mom told me that a friend that Shirley went to school with came by her house this weekend. Her class had all raised money they wanted to go to the kids. They raised around $900. People are amazing. And we are so grateful to all of you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Love,
Teresa
February 13, 2009
A Note From Shirley....Maybe
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there are no more tears of sadness;
here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I am out of sight,
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
God gave me a list of things
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years
Because you are only human
they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry
it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers
unless there was some rain.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over
I'm closer to you now than I ever was before.
And now I am contented...
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low
Just lend a hand to pick him up
as on your way you go.
When you are walking down the street
and you have got me on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go
from that body to be free,
Remember you are not going...
you are coming here to me.
Love, Shirley (at least I like to think so)
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from Heaven
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there are no more tears of sadness;
here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I am out of sight,
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
God gave me a list of things
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years
Because you are only human
they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry
it does relieve the pain
Remember there would be no flowers
unless there was some rain.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over
I'm closer to you now than I ever was before.
And now I am contented...
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low
Just lend a hand to pick him up
as on your way you go.
When you are walking down the street
and you have got me on your mind,
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go
from that body to be free,
Remember you are not going...
you are coming here to me.
Love, Shirley (at least I like to think so)
Sam and Alex
Hey, I did get a call from Tom Francis this morning. He wanted me to let everyone know the kids are doing really good. He had parent/teacher conferences yesterday and said the kids seem to be adjusting fine and no real problems. Grades and attitudes are good.
Tom said they are staying so busy with Volleyball, Forensics and Runescape....don't ask about that last one. He did mention I may get to keep Mr. Alex for the weekend due to Sam's busy schedule so I will hope for that. When I see him or when I see Sam I will see Shirley.
So there are the updates on the kiddos. Let's hope all continues well. It always seems that children cope so much better than the adults.
I love you all,
Teresa
Tom said they are staying so busy with Volleyball, Forensics and Runescape....don't ask about that last one. He did mention I may get to keep Mr. Alex for the weekend due to Sam's busy schedule so I will hope for that. When I see him or when I see Sam I will see Shirley.
So there are the updates on the kiddos. Let's hope all continues well. It always seems that children cope so much better than the adults.
I love you all,
Teresa
Tears
I am going to try as hard as I can to make this blog happier. Right now for awhile it probably is not going to happen. So here we go:
With tears we watched you suffer
as you slowly faded away
our hearts were completely broken
as you fought so hard to stay
we knew you had to leave us
but you never went alone
because part of us went with you
the day you left your home.
We did watch Shirley suffer. I feel we had to do that in order to help her with her journey to heaven. I hope those memories fade soon. It has been 3 weeks this morning since she left us. The family in town helped out so much. The amazing amount of people who turned out to say their goodbyes gave us some really good feelings. But those feelings fade and people leave. So now it's time on our own to start healing. It's a struggle. You physically have to force yourself to get up and make it through a day. There are a lot of tears during the day, but so many good thoughts.
Talk to everyone soon.
Teresa
February 12, 2009
A New Beginning...I Think
I have had the urge so many times to write on here with thoughts about our Girl. I can't decide. I would love to let everyone know what is going on with the family. And also find out what is going on with everyone else. I think I would like to give out this website name and password to anyone who would like it and everyone could blog.
Let me know your thoughts. Or we could just end it as planned.
An update on how I feel. Terrible. I cry everyday. I have her picture right in front of me. I have things from her desk at work on my desk at work. I think of her constantly. And I hope that never ends.
Hopefully people will check back in on the blog and let me know.
Teresa
Let me know your thoughts. Or we could just end it as planned.
An update on how I feel. Terrible. I cry everyday. I have her picture right in front of me. I have things from her desk at work on my desk at work. I think of her constantly. And I hope that never ends.
Hopefully people will check back in on the blog and let me know.
Teresa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
