The End

That's how a book is written. A beginning, a middle and an end. This is the end. Of the blog anyway. My sister is gone. I am heartbroken. I am going through the motions that I am supposed to. I have been through things with Shirley that I will never go through with anyone in my life. I did not watch my own children be born but I watched her son be born. I have never been with somebody as sick as she has been, or ever have ever been in the room with somebody who has passed away before. But I was with her. I was in her room when she went to heaven. I will treasure my relationship with her forever. Never will I meet someone like her ever again. She was one of a kind. And I know you all know that. I miss her right now, my heart aches. We will bury Shirley on Tuesday. Below are the arrangements. We would appreciate anyone who would like to come and pay their respects.

What an awesome person. Thank you all for reading my blog. I did this blog because I knew people loved her and would want to know how her health was with this awful cancer. It ended up being a tribute to the most wonderful sister a person could ever have. It goes so far beyond a best friend. I know what Shirley's skin felt like, what her hair smelled like...everything about her. I kissed her over and over before I left her this morning. So I could remember her. I pray that it will only be a second in time before I see her again.

I hope to see as many of you as I can in the next few days. I love you Shirley and I miss you. Only God knows how much.

Shirley M. Eichost

Shirley M. Eichost, age 42, of Piper, Kansas passed away on Friday January 23, 2009. Funeral Sercices will be 10:00 a.m., Tuesday January 27, at the Wallula Christian Church with burial to follow in the Gates of Heaven Cemetery in Kansas City, Kansas. Visitation will be from 6 to 8 p.m. Monday evening at the Alden-Harrington Funeral Home in Bonner Springs. In lieu of flowers the family suggests Memorial Contributions to the Kansas City Hospice House in care of the funeral home.

Shirley was born on Sept. 14, 1966 in Leavenworth, Kansas. Survivors include her husband of six years Mike Eichost of the home, two children Samantha and Alex Francis of the home, her parents Tom and Debbie Lewis of Piper, KS. Two brothers Tom E. Lewis and wife Cindy and Tim Lewis and wife Bea, also of Piper. Three sisters Teresa Noland and husband Steve of Shawnee, KS, Kathy McEndree and husband Mark of Desoto, KS., Tear Moore and husband Guy of Follansbee, WV., maternal grandmother Juanita McKee of Kansas City, KS, fifteen nieces and nephews and two great-nephews.

Arrangements:

Wallula Christian Church

23785 139th St.

Leavenworth, Kansas 66048

Alden-Harrington Funeral Home

214 Oak Street

Bonner Springs, KS 66012

913-422-4074

Again, thank you for this tribute that this blog became for my sister Shirley.

Love,

Teresa

Shirley is in Heaven

Shirley passed away peacefully between 6:30 and 7:00 this morning while everyone was sleeping. The nurse checked on her at 6:30 and she was still with us and when they checked again at 7:00 she was gone.

Thank you again for all your prayers and we will post the arrangements a little bit later.

Love,

Shirley's Family

One Week

We have been here one week today. Who could have known that we would still be here. She is a fighter. She is still fighting. I believe she is no longer conscious. Up until last night we were getting a tiny visit from her between 4:30 and 5:30 in the morning. This morning Mike and I did not get that visit. She was very quiet. And that is fine. We are all praying for God's mercy and peace for Shirley. The doctors tell us she has hit a plateau. Her breathing scares us at times. But her blood pressure and heart and lungs are all staying strong right now.

It's not pleasant watching Shirley go through this. It is breaking our hearts. But we will stand together and help her until she is ready. We visit and talk and laugh with her. We also tell her that everyone is praying and thinking of her. Please keep doing that.

Thank you,

Teresa

Shirley is Still With Us

I thought I would update everyone and let you know that Shirley is still with us. This process is not very much fun. She is laying in her bed very still and peaceful. We sit and visit with her during the day. At night, we sleep lightly and check on her. She will make eye contact and she will tell you she loves you. But not much more than that. I have decided that she is just not ready to leave us. She loves us that much.

The other reason I am updating is for my Mom and Dad. They have requested that I write a note from them.

"We asked Teresa to add this to the blog:

We would like to say a very special thank you to all the wonderful and thoughtful people from the bottom of our hearts.

To Shirley's co-workers from Embarq who have visited her in K.U. Hospital and the Hospice Center. A special thank you to Val, Dot and Pat who also visited Shirley at home. A sincere thank you for all they have provided for Shirley's family.

Thank you to our neighbors Richard and Linda Gilliland, Charlie and Carol Christ for being so thoughtful and for all they have given. Thank you to Donna and Merv McEndree, Bea's sister Jamie and Karen Honeywell (Mecum) for the food they have also provided at the Hospice Center. Thank you to Grandma Sharon and Robin for providing food for our families also.

We would like to thank Embarq, Hermes Landscaping and Plaza Medical Resources employees for their donations to Shirley's family at Christmas time.

A sincere thanks to Kansas City Hospice House for the helpful nurses and doctors there who have tried. At this time the doctors say Shirley is deteriorating day by day with just a few days left.

We hope we have not missed anyone but if there is any doubt that there are good people in the world, the testament above shows without a doubt there are. Thanks to all who have commented and prayed on this blog.

Last but not least, thanks to all of our wonderful children and their spouses for sticking together through this trying time.

God Bless You All!!!"

Tom and Debbie Lewis
(Dad and Mom)

This is almost my last post

We are almost done. This will be my last post until Shirley passes. We don't know when that will be, but it won't be long. She is growing weaker and weaker but has such a strong will to live. I can see that as she lays there in her bed.

The Chaplain came and gathered the family and we said a prayer around Shirley. Sammy and Alex were with us and that was the saddest part of all. To know that their mother will leave us soon. They were heartbroken, along with the rest of us.

I appreciate all of the comments, the support, the love and the prayers for Shirley and our family. We would appreciate it if you could continue the prayers a little while longer.

When Shirley leaves us I will post a final note letting everyone know. This is the saddest time of my life. People are saying things like time heals everything and she is going to a better place and we will go on...right now, it feels like my world is crumbling. My sister and my best friend is laying in a bed and is preparing to leave me and I don't like it. Nothing can heal the pain that is happening. Not right now anyway.

Love,

Teresa

Something is Different

I previously posted about being cranky. I was cranky because Shirley was not comfortable. Nauseated, vomiting. I got upset. Thought she should be more sedated. Well, as the night went on and yesterday came, that happened on its own. Shirley became more peaceful and was very relaxed. She slept all day yesterday. Not much movement. I could tell that something had changed. And then last night, late, they came into to give Shirley some drops under her tongue. When they asked her to open her mouth, she either wouldn't do it, or couldn't do it. I tried looking into her eyes and asking her to open and I could see it. The set jaw and the distant eyes. She didn't look like she could even see me.

I don't know what has happened, but right now there is no communication. Is it a turn for the worse, I don't know. The doctor will see her this morning. I am starting my 4th day here and with that much time you try to think about everything you should be prepared for. I never prepared for that. I never even considered that she wouldn't recognize me, or be able to talk to me. But that is where we are right now.

There isn't much coughing, I guess no pain...how could we tell. Her breathing is good and lungs are clear. I am praying so hard. I am praying for her to have peace. I am praying for us all to have peace. I keep telling her that I am tired of this place and let's get up and get out of here. Let's go do something more fun. I don't think that is going to happen.

Love,
Teresa

Doing Okay

So far today Shirley has done okay. She is resting peacefully right now. She did have some nausea and vomiting earlier. It seems whenever she drinks anything it will come back up. She whispered to me this morning that she can't talk. She is just too weak. So we have decided we have to quit asking how she is doing. She feels obligated to answer.

The family is just hanging out, taking turns checking in on her. Trying to do whatever she needs.

Definitely weaker today.

Teresa

Shirley has Slept

I went to sleep about midnight and woke up about 5:00. Shirley had slept pretty good most of that time. So definitely an improvement from before. Maybe they are figuring out her medication. She said she is a little nauseated but not bad. And her cough actually seemed a little better.

Probably a little over reaction last night, let's hope so. We just need to get these symptoms under control and that seems to be happening at the moment.

Patience Teresa, patience!!!!

She is in good spirits right now and all is well.

Teresa

Teresa Got Cranky

We came here yesterday with the hopes of them making Shirley more comfortable. Unfortunately, I don't see a lot of that. Shirley has a lot of mucus buildup in her throat and she is not strong enough to cough it out. It makes her sick and it's happening more and more. I don't like it. She is not in a lot of pain. That is under control. But I don't really think the mucus and nausea is under control. And really, that is just my opinion. It's hard watching her go through some of the things she is going through. And hearing them say that these are normal changes her body is going through does not make it any easier.

She has gone 6 days without food and really that's enough for me. It makes me uncontrollably sad. So I am trying to find ways to deal with it because I don't have much of a choice. But please know that I am not happy about it. I want her to be comfortable and peaceful, as we all do.

Maybe with a little more time, that will happen. I don't know. Very frustrating. It's late, going to try to sleep on the sofa. Hope for a better tomorrow. Pray for our Shirley. Pray for our family.

Love,

Teresa

It's Snowing

Did not expect to wake up to snow. But it's beautiful. I wish Shirley could enjoy it. She is sleeping right now. She did have a lot of pain last night. But they did get it under control. It came on pretty fast. It's her tummy. She is comfortable now and sleeping.

Mike made a surprise visit around midnight so we did not spend the night alone. It was actually comforting having someone else in the room. And I know it made him feel better. I don't think he could go to bed alone at their house. It was best for everyone.

I do think they are just going to have to keep her more and more sedated. Her pain is increasing and she keeps trying to get out of bed. They seem to know what they are doing, so we will trust them.

It's much easier to update ... this computer is right outside her room. Enjoy the snow.

Teresa

First Night at Hospice House

Wow, what an experience. I have never done this before and hope to never do it again. It's 10 o'clock and everything is quiet. Timmy is still here with me. Shirley is resting as good as she can. She is a little uncomfortable right now. But they have given her plenty of medicine so I think here soon she will be out for the night.

She did get sick after she got here but they have plenty of medicine here for her. She doesn't like it because it makes her go to sleep but you have to take the good with the bad. She is so weak now that it makes it hard for her to go to the bathroom. So they did put the catheter in her tonight. I think that will help a lot. She didn't like it and I don't blame her. It is what it is.

She still is getting a little confused and agitated. They tell me that is normal. Her tummy is distended and they say that is normal. Whatever normal is. Normal for cancer. I don't like this normal. The Lewis family has never been normal.

Our family is coming together...we are hearing from people from West Virginia, Michigan, Springfield...Shirley has spread her love all over. And it is coming back to us like you cannot believe. Her co-workers as well. She is an amazing woman. She is absolutely the best sister and daughter any person could ever want in a lifetime. We are so lucky.

I don't plan on leaving her side. I will be here as long as she needs me. Please feel free to write your comments to Shirley. I am relaying them to her every chance I get. Send your love her way....

Love from Room 5 at the Hospice House,

Teresa

Hospice House

Shirley did not have a very good night last night. She is very nauseated and her symptoms are getting harder and harder to control. So Shirley was given the option to stay at home or go to a hospice house. Shirley chose the hospice house. We want her to be comfortable and right now that just is not working being at home.

This place is awesome. The people are very nice and the it's very peaceful. She is in room 5 at the Kansas City Hospice at 123rd & Wornall. Visiting is probably not really an option. You are welcome to call and visit the family, but Shirley is not really up for visitors. She gets very agitated and upset easily. She has calmed down now and is in a pretty good sleep.

I do have a story of course for today. This morning at 8:15 as I was gearing up to go see our girl, my cell phone rang. It was Shirley's cell phone. I was sure when I answered it I would be talking to Mike. But sure enough it was Shirley. I couldn't really understand what she was saying but she was trying to tell me that she was nauseated and she needed medicine. Mike was already on the phone to the nurse but I guess that just wasn't good enough. She needed me and I wasn't there. So from this point on, I will be staying with her. I will not leave her side unless I absolutely have to. I cannot have that happen again.

She is in good hands and I think we are all a little more comfortable with her care here. Keep praying for our Shirley and our family. We are needing it more everyday.

Lots of Visitors

Today was a day full of visitors. Shirley had so many people who love her come to see her today. Val, Dot and Pat came to visit from Shirley's work. I will honestly say that one of the things I have learned from this experience is that there are people who love Shirley who are not even related to her. And these 3 ladies are some of them. They are so full of love and friendship it's wonderful to be around them. They filled Shirley's room with peace and I know that Shirley appreciated seeing them. I cannot express how much I love them for loving her. Shirley's pastor Lance came by the house and visited for awhile and said prayers with Shirley and with our family. That also felt was very comforting.

Later we had visits from Tom Francis, the social worker, more family. People are gathering around to be with her. I can't blame them. Most of the day was spent with Mike, Mom, Dad, Cindy, Tommy, Kathy, Timmy, Steve and I. We would visit with her off and on. She would become disoriented at times and be confused and then at other times o.k. I have definitely been able to tell her the things I need to tell her. Tonight she told me she loves me with every inch of her body. I will hold that in my heart forever.

Some plans are being made. Mike is trying to get some of the arrangements made beforehand. That was some good advice from the social worker. A lot of us sat around just looking at pictures today. I think we will be doing that for several days ahead. Shirley is a beautiful person inside and out. Anybody who knows Shirley has realized that. And that is what makes this so sad.

I have no idea how I am going to live my life without her. I pray every day and night that I will find a way to do that. It was never supposed to be this way. Most days I wake up so angry and mad at this whole situation and then I get near her and the anger goes away and I am so happy she is still here. I know that is selfish and I do pray for peace for Shirley. But secretly, I am glad she is still here.

She is very weak and our time is growing short. I can feel that. I will just treasure every second I have left. Thank you for your prayers.

Love, Teresa

:(

I don't have a title for this post tonight. I don't have any good news to report either. Shirley has been really sick the last couple of days. She has not kept any food down, not much liquid. I can report she is not in much pain, but she is very nauseated. She is very lethargic and very weak and tired. I knew today when I showed up that something was different. I'm not sure what exactly, but I could tell she was different. And as the morning progressed she got very nauseated and sick. So we called the hospice nurse and she came out.

She checked Shirley over and tried to figure out things to do for her nausea. They actually have stuff you can rub on your wrist and it will absorb through the skin. After she looked at Shirley she talked to Mom, Kathy, Mike and me in the livingroom. She told us that Shirley's body is rejecting food. And this is a sign of a body shutting down. If she had to guess how long Shirley had, she would guess days to maybe a week or two.

So I guess we are nearing the end of this horrible journey. I plan to be with her everyday, as much as I can. I still am dumbfounded that we are here. I don't know how we got here. I still do not believe it.

She is very sweet laying in her bed. She actually comforted me a little bit today. It made me feel bad. My #1 rule is not to cry in front of Shirley but today I couldn't stop. Thank you all for being interested and loving Shirley. I promise to update as much as I can.

Love and peace to everyone,

Teresa

The Day At Shirley's

Today was spent mostly at Shirley's house. Mom was already there when I got there. Shirley was in bed. She had a rough night. Up all night going potty. But I guess the good news is that she did go potty. That's very important right now. Unfortunately it wiped her out. She got up around 11:30. When she came out of her bedroom I was standing at the end of the hall. She looked at me with the oddest look like "who are you". And then it registered. I got a little smile out of her. She was up for about 5 minutes to take some medicine and then went back to bed. Shortly after that a hospice nurse arrived. She gave Shirley a thorough check up and was very nice. She even offered to send someone to give Shirley a massage. Shirley seemed to like that. So hopefully that will happen. After the nurse left, Shirley went back to bed.

Kathy showed up at lunch time and by then Mike was home from work. Mom left after that to do some errands. We sat around and talked for a few hours. Shirley never really got up anymore. She was very nauseated and just not feeling good. Tommy stopped by for a few minutes to check in on her.

Shortly after that Kathy and I left for the day. It was hard to leave knowing she had not eaten anything or hardly drank anything. We kissed her goodbye and told her we would be back in the morning. Bedroom furniture is supposed to be delivered in the morning, so we will spend the day getting Shirley's room in order.

Mike did say this evening she ate a little bit of applesauce. I'm not sure that makes me feel any better. But it is something. Let's just hope and pray for a better day tomorrow. She seems to be getting worse every day. Will she bounce back a little, I have no idea. We will just pray for comfort and peace for Shirley.

Teresa

Update

Okay, today my update isn't the greatest. Kathy and I went to visit Shirley this afternoon and she wasn't doing so great. She was very weak when we got there and unfortunately one of Shirley's biggest problems has to do with her bowels. If they are not working, Shirley is in a lot of pain. And unfortunately, they are currently not working. If this stuff can't come out one way, it will come out another. And today it came out in the form of vomiting. She actually vomits up the bile. It's awful. So we called the hospice nurse because our methods of making Shirley go potty were not working. Let's hope they can get this taken care of.

Shirley is definitely getting weaker. She sleeps most of the time we are there. Very little conversation. Kathy and I try to talk and keep her spirits up ...I don't know how good we do. At one point, Shirley looked at us and said "so what time are you coming tomorrow". And at that point, we were planning on working. I think we have changed our minds and we will be with her tomorrow. I don't know how much time we have, but I know that I feel the need to be close to her all the time. To take care of her and love her.

Kathy was very sweet and bought her some new cloth caps to wear. She was very, very happy to get those.

At one moment when we were there and Shirley was getting sick, Kathy and I were helping her and taking care of her. It made me feel so content inside to know that we were there for her. I know Mike and Mom take care of her all of the time, but I was happy we could do a little bit. I would spend every second with her if I could.

I did tell her how much everyone is thinking of her and praying for her. She smiled...so I know that made her feel good. I will be there tomorrow with her and doing whatever I can. Keep praying for us. We love you all!!!

Love

Teresa

My Visit With Shirley

Tonight I went out to mom and dad's and they treated me to dinner. My favorite...Chinese!!! Delicious. We had a very nice dinner and it's been a long time since I went to dinner alone with mom and dad. I enjoyed it a lot.

Then mom and I went up to see Shirley. She was just sitting down to dinner. Mike had made her salmon, corn and potatoes. She actually ate several bites. And we had good conversation. We mostly talked about our dogs and our kids. The normal stuff. She does seem very weak. So weak that she has a hard time even clearing her throat. Other than that, it was a good visit.

I normally try to write how I am feeling on this blog or how Shirley is doing or how my family is doing. I do want to make a statement on here. How much Shirley loves Mike and how much Mike loves Shirley. It is very obvious how much they love each other. Mike does an excellent job of taking care of Shirley every day. I do know that Shirley wants everyone to know how hard he works at taking care of everything. And my family respects and loves Mike for everything he does for her and Mike will forever be a part of our family. He is now trying to go back to work and I know that is hard. He is still recovering from his own injuries when he had his motorcycle wreck. I don't know that we always recognize him for the hard work he does put in, but I do know that Shirley did find the love of her life when Mike came along and I will always be grateful for that.

I do have some pictures to put on the blog but unfortunately my cord to my camera is not working. So I am going to try to replace that and get those pictures on here.

Kathy and I plan on going out again tomorrow and visiting. I can't wait!!!!

Love,

Teresa

Sad

I'm sad. I decided to call Shirley's house and see how she is doing. Mom put Shirley on the phone and it made me so sad. We have gone from sisters who could talk and laugh every day on the phone to her barely being able to speak.

I don't update as much, because there really isn't much of a change. I apologize. It's not very interesting if I just keep repeating myself. I know everyone loves Shirley and is thinking about her and praying for her. Please keep doing that and I will keep udating.

Kathy and mom are with Shirley right now. Kathy brought Chinese for lunch. Again, I can't express how awesome our family is in supporting each other. It is so comforting knowing that they are with her right now.

I did watch Patrick Swayze's interview with Barbara Walters last night. He got diagnosed about the same time Shirley did last year. He has Pancreatic Cancer and Shirley has Bile Duct Cancer. They are very similar. As a matter of fact, they don't have treatment for Shirley's cancer so they treat it as though it is Pancreatic Cancer. He was very inspirational and very honest. It was really a weird feeling listening to him because I could relate to every single thing he was saying.

I am praying for Shirley all the time. I felt a deep sense of sadness when I hung up the phone today. I didn't even recognize that person I was talking to. But I knew it was her. And that is enough. I will take that. It's all I have.

Teresa

Pictures

Hey everyone. I have occasionally posted some pictures on the website for everyone to enjoy. Unfortunately, right now, if I posted a picture of Shirley, she just might find the energy to kill me. I had to promise that whatever pictures I have taken will not make it to the world wide web.

On that note, if anyone has a picture Of Miss Shirley that they have taken and that they would like to share, please email me, I would be glad to put it on here. tnoland@hermeslandscaping.com


I don't have an update yet today. Mom is on her way there and I will update when I know more. Let's pray for a good day:)

Teresa

Update

I know it's been a few days since I have updated, but unfortunately there isn't much to tell. Shirley is deteriorating it seems. Not ever having been through this, it's difficult to really comprehend what is going on.

She has no energy. She moves from her couch to her bed or her bed to her couch. She eats very little. A few bites a day. She has a lot of nausea. We go and visit but there isn't much conversation. We just all talk around her and she listens. It's hard to tell what is going on in her mind. She's very quiet.

Mike is still working on the bedroom. It turned out to be a bigger project than he though, but I will post pictures as soon as it's done. He goes back to work tomorrow and mom will take over as the daytime caregiver. Who better to take care of you than your mom.

Please keep praying for Shirley and our family. Pray for her to have peace and to be as comfortable as possible. No pain, no nausea.

Love,

Teresa

January 1, 2009

and today was a good day. Kathy and I spent New Year's Eve together. I really thought I just wanted to spend it alone this year but the closer it got, the more I wanted to be with my family. I am so glad Kathy came over. And then, unexpectedly, at midnight my phone rang. It was Shirley. We were all so excited. It was awesome. The kids all had a great time together.

I will always remember that when we rang in 2008 we were all together in my house having a fun party just like we had done for several years. Not knowing what the year had to bring. Happy and carefree and excited for the new year. I know now that I was very naive. You just think things will go on as they are forever. I'm not like that anymore. I don't think any of us are.

Today was spent at mom and dad's eating ham and beans. It was a really nice afternoon and a good way to start the year. And of course, I came home without my boys. They talked grandma into letting them stay until Saturday. I hope they get some work out of them.

Shirley came for about an hour. She ate a little, listened to all of us talk and then was ready to go. Mike is actually fixing her bedroom up for her. He bought her a beautiful new bedroom set and is repainting the bedroom. He figured since she was spending so much time in there, it should be how she likes it. I agree. She will love it.

Everyone will be happy to hear that Shirley was good today. Well as good as she can be. She sat at the table with us and for a little while you try to pretend like it's the way things used to be. It wasn't that long ago that Shirley was healthy and able to join in all the fun at mom and dad's kitchen table. It's not really like that anymore, but that's ok. As long as we can still hug and kiss her, it's ok. And today I could do that. I hugged her, I kissed her and I told her I loved her. So, it was a good day.

Happy New Year.

Love,

Teresa