The Best Thanksgiving Ever

Shirley Marie Holding Kaitlyn Marie

2nd Best Dog Ever - Sue

I have to say that we definitely pulled off the best one ever. And it was a group effort. I will never forget the feeling I had when right before we sat down to dinner I looked out at my entire family and extended family and saw them all together . It was so warm and actually indescribable. I really tried to tell them how thankful I am for all of them, I hope they know that. Our dinner was awesome and I don't mean just the turkey. The dishes and dessert everyone brought was incredible. I did take some pictures but unfortunately they aren't the best.

And Now.....CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoo Hoo!!!!! I can't wait.

Happy Thanksgiving

This post is just to wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving. It doesn't matter if we have bad things happen in our life, or some times are really tough, we have each other. And that we have to be thankful for. I am thankful also for the people who do not live close to here. Uncle Joyce, Steve, Karen and their children and grandchildren, Phil, Robin and theirs also. Aunt Dorothy and your family. I am thankful for Kent and Diane and their family.

The West Virginia crew - Guy, Tear, Tommy, Rachel, Leanna - all your families. Aunt Connie, Aunt Carol and Uncle Duane, Doug and Becky and their families. Janet and Karen and Jeff and their families.

I know I may leave some people out but I love you all dearly and think of you often. Family means more to me now more than it ever has. I will be sharing this day with my very favorite people in the world. So until tomorrow....Happy Thanksgiving and I love you.

A Nice Person

Everyone has been so nice through this whole ordeal that Shirley has been going through. But Saturday as we all gathered together, we noticed that somebody had anonymously sent us a card telling us they love us but did not sign their name. We would love to know you are just to say thank you. It means so much to us that you care enough to do that. If you decide not to tell us that's fine. But out of curiosity we would love to thank you.

Teresa

Wig

We did all go to the wig appt. on Saturday afternoon. And it actually was o.k. Well for everyone else except the big cry baby Teresa. But that's just a given. The wig Shirley chose was so natural and made her look so beautiful. It was actually a really good experience.

She still was not feeling great. I could tell it was hard for her. I talked to her for a little bit on Sunday but didn't get a good read on how she was doing. Let's hope better.

Teresa

Still Not Good

Still sick, Still sad:(

So Far Not So Good

I have spoken to Shirley and she is very, very sick. We are on our third day of being sick now. I'm not sure how long this will last. Kathy did stop by and get to hold her and try to make her feel better.

I don't know what to say at this point. I don't know how long these side effects will last. I don't know if Shirley thinks these side effects are worth it. The treatments are worse than the cancer. But we have no choice. We have to keep our Shirley as long as God will let us. It is ultimately up to her and God.

We love you Shirley and no matter what decisions you need to make, we are here to help you and we will help you through whatever you need.

This Post Was Supposed To Be Happy:(

It's one week from Thanksgiving. I have ordered a fresh 32 pound turkey (and yes, they do come that big). My guest list is 30 people right now. And that includes Miss Kaitlyn Marie. This is normally my happiest time of year. But it's not. Not now. Mike just told me Shirley is sooo sick. And this is the 2nd day in a row. I want to go crawl into bed and hold her and make her feel better.

Poor Mike - when I spoke to him he was so distraught. It's so hard to leave his wife but he has to work. Mom was going to drive by there and check on her and maybe we will have an update later. Pray

Poem

LOVE-FAITH-HOPE

Sometimes I wake up in the night
So paralyzed by fear
Surprised, I find my shaking hand
Has brushed away a tear.

Then suddenly I'm wide awake
Awareness seeping in ----
"Oh no, dear God, I cannot face
This cancer once again!"

Then all the thoughts I dread the most
Keep going through my mind.
I toss and turn for hours
But no comfort can I find.

Then when I finally cease to fight
This battle all alone ----
And offer up a prayer for help
Your love to me is shown.

I come to know a special peace
The world can never give.
God tells me not to fear my death
Which frees me now to live.

And thank You ,Lord for showing me
Together we can cope.
A new day filled with all your love ---
With faith and trust and hope!

New Chemo Not Good

Shirley is really sick from the new chemo drugs. I just talked to Mike and I guess she has flu like symptoms, tummy is sick, I know she has thrown up. I'm not sure there is anything harder in the world than having to sit at work and wanting to leave and just go take care of your sick sister. According to Mike, she does still have hair. Which is so minor, but it's something.

I love her and I'm sad:(

Pictures of Baby

We love you Kaitlyn Marie Noland

New Baby

This morning Steve's brother and his wife Kelly had a new baby. The birth of a baby is the most awesome thing that anyone can experience. And after the 42 hours at the cancer center yesterday, when I was told at 11:00 last night that Kelly's water had broke I felt nothing but euphoria. I had not been that happy in so long. So off we went into the night to wait to meet our new niece.

This was all I expected of the evening. To meet this new beautiful girl who I will love with all my heart like I do all my nieces and nephews. The birth went perfect, Kelly and the baby were healthy. We were all standing around looking at her and holding her and loving her. And then Kelly asked if we would like to know what her name was. Well, of course...she has to have a name. And they said it. Kaitlyn Marie Noland. They made their baby's middle name the same as my sister Shirley's middle name. Words cannot describe how that made me feel. It's absolutely one of the nicest, most selfless things I have ever known anyone to do. And the best part, as she grows up she will get to see and hear about the amazing person she got this name from. She is already very special, but she has no idea how much more special this has made her.

I love you Joe and Kelly and I love you for loving me enough to know how much that would mean to me.

She weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces and 21 inches long and nice dark hair. Gorgeous. I will post pictures later. And everyone coming to Thanksgiving....you get to meet her!!!!

7 1/2 Hours

A very, very long and draining day. These days are becoming more and more emotional and it's not easy. I have posted a picture of Shirley's new hair cut. She is preparing for the day of the actual hair loss. It's actually adorable. But on Shirley, of course it's adorable. We have no idea what side effects this new chemo will have on her. She is taking pills and had two different bottles put in an IV. We had such a long day that Kathy and I actually went out and got Chinese food and a movie. The movie was The Five People You Meet in Heaven. I find that this movie has such deep meaning and can really help people dealing with hard times. We cried several times and at one point Shirley grabbed my hand and hugged and thanked me for being there for her. The thing she doesn't realize is that she doesn't have to thank me. At some point in your life, you realize God's purpose for you. I have found mine. God put me here for Shirley. To love her and give her all of the support she needs. And that is what I will do. Another thing I have realized is that you know that you love people. But you never know how much you love somebody until you are faced with the fact that you may lose them. And then it is the most overwhelming feeling you will ever have.

I haven't given up. It may sound like it, but I have definitely faced the fact that I may lose Shirley. And I always wonder how people go on after they lose somebody they love that much. And they say "you just do". I don't believe that. I will never believe that. Shirley, I will never "just go on".

I think about my life and it's always been Teresa and Shirley or Shirley and Teresa. I pray to you now God to never just make it Teresa. Please make this chemo work. Please give us that miracle we are looking for. Please take this cancer out of her body. In your name God I pray harder than I have ever prayed in my life.

Sorry Shirley...no Purple:(

I could not find a purple background. Well today is the day. This entire time I really thought Shirley would not have to have chemo that would cause her to lose her hair. But today will be the day they put drugs into her that will do that. I am angry. Not because Shirley will lose her hair. Everyone is right when they say it is just hair it is just hair. But it's just that awful reminder that cancer has attacked my family. And it has attacked it with a vengeance. I mean I kind of compare it to a tornado. There are different levels of tornadoes. F1 F2 or whatever. But if you hear F5 you know something terrible has happened. And that's what we are dealing with. So on top of all of these months of going to these appts. and trying to stay positive and strong, today Shirley gets drugs that will make her lose her beautiful hair. Of course we will find positives in this too and we will stay strong and of course find something to laugh about and make fun of. I already thought that if she loses her hair by Thanksgiving, and my sister-in-law Kelly has her baby, then my turkey, the baby and Shirley could all be bald together.

I guess what I am trying to stay is we will deal with this. It will be fine. It will just suck like the rest of this crap does.

I will update everyone tomorrow with how Shirley did with her chemo today. It's going to be a long afternoon. Have a wonderful day.

Teresa

Christmas Music

O.K. I think almost everyone who knows me knows that I love the Christmas music. It cannot start early enough for me. The decorations cannot get out early enough. When I see Christmas lights and decorations and when I hear Christmas music it instantly makes me happy. When other people get grumpy, I am smiling.

The reason I bring this up is because now we have 2 radio stations that have Christmas music on full time. You can hear it whenever you want. We are so spoiled. But when we were kids that was not an option. Well another thing that people may know or not know is that Elvis Presley is my all time favorite singer. So as soon as I possibly could (without annoying my family) I would start playing my Elvis Christmas Album non stop until Christmas day. And to this day that album ...or I guess CD now...is me and Shirley's very favorite Christmas music. It's just another thing that we love together and that makes me happy.

Teresa:)

More Detail

The new Chemo Shirley will start will begin next Monday. This Chemo will take up to 4 hours. She will then have 3 weeks off and then another treatment. After 2 treatments he will do another scan to see if this chemo is working. I think it's important that we treat and scan a lot more often. If a treatment is not working, we need to know immediately to try something else.

We do need to be prepared to see Miss Shirley without her beautiful red hair. But big deal. It's hair. Give me a bald Shirley any day over no Shirley at all. And we all need something to rub for good luck.

I think last night I talked to almost every member of my family. It was very comforting and a reminder of how much my family loves me and I love them. They are the most wonderful people in the world and we will come together and we will pray that God will heal Shirley. If that is not in God's plan, then in Shirley's worlds "It's in God's Hands".

The next 6 to 8 weeks will be tough ...stay strong and pray.

Teresa

Not The Best News

Shirley did not get her treatment today. And basically that is because the current chemotherapy she is receiving has quit working. The CT Scan showed that the tumors have started growing. He has decided to try another treatment. Unfortunately this treatment will make Shirley lose her hair. The whole appointment was very depressing. This doctor cannot promise us that this chemo will work either. She will have 2 treatments 3 weeks apart and then do another scan to see if the tumors are responding.

Mom, Kathy and I gathered around Shirley and told her we will do whatever it takes to make her comfortable and happy. I pray that whoever reads this blog does this for her also. She will need us all right now.

There is no more denial. We need this chemo to work or we need a miracle. This cancer is starting to take over her body and emotionally and physically she will need us all now more than ever. Please pray and help her in any way that you can. She would never, ever ask for help from anyone so let's show her how much we love her.

Please keep praying for our family.

We don't like our picture taken...

We agreed this was our favorite picture of the night:)


Unless it's with each other. When I talked to Shirley today we both agreed that we used to hate to have our pictures taken, but now that we get our picture taken together so often, we like it. I still don't like my picture taken if it's by myself, but if it's with Shirley, I love it. Actually any of our family pictures look really good. We love being with each other and we have a good time so that definitely makes for a good photo.

I am counting down the days until Tuesday when we find out the results of Shirley's CT scans. I will admit that it makes me a nervous wreck waiting on those results. I pray they are good, that her cancer is stable, or the tumors have shrunk. There is that fear that we could get bad news and there is absolutely no way I can prepare myself for that. I'm not going to pretend to be strong anymore. I am scared. If they give us good news, I will be extremely grateful and happy and will thank God. But I'm not naive to think that there is a possibility that we could get bad news. And that scares me. So until then, I will pray for my Shirley and I will pray for God to heal her body. I ask everyone to pray with me for my girl. You just can't beat the power of prayer.

Love, Teresa

I have really been slacking off...

First of all - the pictures I have posted are from bowling for Brandon's 19th birthday and a Halloween party that I talked about earlier with the kiddos. Enjoy.

Shirley seems to be doing o.k. right now. Still tired. But o.k. We are just now waiting for CT scan on Monday and Doctor's appt. on Tuesday. Have a great week!!

Teresa