My Friend Kelly...

Stevens Ryder from high school is doing a Relay for Life cancer walk in memory of Shirley. Kelly is such a great friend and wonderful person to do this. I think she can relate to my pain because she lost her mom a few years ago. I'm not sure she is coping any better than I am. Please follow the link below and you can donate or just read her story. It's awesome.

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY10PL?px=16065713&pg=personal&fr_id=23787

Also....Nik Noland graduates tonight. I am so proud of him. Mom, Dad, Steve's Parents and Joe and Kelly are meeting us for dinner before the graduation. He is so excited. I have too many emotions going on in one day....grrrrr


Love,

Teresa

Another good time...

at bunco. It was a lot of fun. I didn't even play and I had fun. Again, I invited too many people. But I don't mind sitting out and talking to everyone. They might mind it but I don't. Some of mom's work friends and neighbors were there so it was really good to see them again.

It's a busy week. Nik graduates Thursday. It's hard for me to talk about. I remember clearly two years ago how important it was for Shirley to go to Kelsey's graduation. I only had six tickets and I made sure that she was there. Somewhere deep down I knew that Kelsey was the only child of mine that she would see graduate. And it was. What I would give to go back to the time that Shirley and I had babies. It was the very best time of my life.

And then Friday I will go camping with my girls from work. That will distract me and keep me from being sad. It seems that is what I have to do every day...just find something to distract me. And I keep going...

Love,

Teresa

A day of Emotions...

Just one of those days. Nik Noland graduates from high school in less than a week. I am sad beyond words that Shirley is not here to celebrate this with me. And yet I am so proud of my son. So happy and sad all at the same time. It's hard to deal with.

Tonight we play bunco at mom's. I think I need to be around some fun ladies.

love,

Teresa

Mother's Day

was a beautiful day. I was filled with a lot of emotion. But I have a wonderful family. The picture is of Shirley's grave. Sam and Alex and Tom decorated so beautifully it made me cry. I love visiting her. I know some people have a hard time going there ... but I love it. I feel close to her. I left her the flowers in the back. The daisies...they had glitter on them.

We spent the day with my momma. We had wonderful food and everyone was there. My sisters and sister-in-laws are great mommas.

I had been doing really good emotionally but this week has been a struggle. So back to really working hard at fixing that.

My son Nik graduates in a little over a week. That doesn't help emotionally. My daughter Kelsey made a comment that I think is completely appropriate. Life is an emotional rollercoaster. She is so right.

I love you Paige, Angie, and Kristi. Thank you so much for visiting her.

I swear the second we pulled into that cemetery Toby Keith's song came on "I'm going to miss you my friend". I love you Shirley for letting me know you are there.

Her grave is absolutely beautiful and I promise until the day I die that it will always be that way.

I spent the weekend with Shirley's Alex. He will never know how much he means to me. He is my connection to Shirley.

My momma made Mother's Day perfect. She is a wonderful mother. I can never express to her how much she helps me through these difficult times. Her hugs and love are what I need more than anything.

Thank you all for listening to me. I love you all. And thank you for all of your support.

And of course my bad dog is one of my kids so his big wet kiss was a great present!!!!

Love, Teresa

A new picture of the bad dog...

for those of you who have not seen it on facebook. Of course it is worth sharing twice. He is hilarious.

Not much to update. I'm sad this week. Knowing that mother's day is coming and Shirley is not here for the second year with her kids. And that my mom has to spend it without one of her kids for the second year. It's just not fair.

But we should all be together for the most part. Mom and dad are having a cookout on Sunday. I am excited for that.

Have a great week.

Love,

Teresa

Ernie Harwell

http://thanasis.com/ernie/

The above is a link to read a story about Ernie Harwell. A Sports Announcer who has bile duct cancer. He is nearing the end of his life. This tribute is to him. Walter Payton...Chicago Bears football player also had this cancer. It's odd...I am sure Shirley never thought she would share this connection with these two men. I'm sure she never knew either one of them. But being a sports fan...I do.

Anyway, Ernie Harwell lived a long, good life. That is the one difference between Shirley and him. I wish she could have lived to his age.

Love,

Teresa

I'm going to miss that smile....I'm going to miss you my friend :(