April 29, 2010

Ernie Harwell

http://thanasis.com/ernie/

The above is a link to read a story about Ernie Harwell. A Sports Announcer who has bile duct cancer. He is nearing the end of his life. This tribute is to him. Walter Payton...Chicago Bears football player also had this cancer. It's odd...I am sure Shirley never thought she would share this connection with these two men. I'm sure she never knew either one of them. But being a sports fan...I do.

Anyway, Ernie Harwell lived a long, good life. That is the one difference between Shirley and him. I wish she could have lived to his age.

Love,

Teresa

April 28, 2010

I'm going to miss that smile....I'm going to miss you my friend :(

April 26, 2010

Friday was difficult...

but I made it through the day. It was 15 months that Shirley passed away on Friday. And it being on a Friday made it worse. Kathy and I were talking today about how much we hate the 23rd and then we both said that we even really don't like Fridays anymore. Shirley died on a Friday.

But Friday night I got to go to dinner with my girlfriends who I am going on a float trip with in July. That was a lot of fun. Nothing better than good food, good friends and some good margaritas.

Mom told me on Saturday that Her and Cindy got a new wind chime for Shirley's tree. I can't wait to get out and see it.

Love,

Teresa

April 22, 2010

Staying positive...

and happy. I am working really hard at remembering good times and happy things and I think it is working. I am not sure that I knew grieving was actually work. You have to work every second of every day to make sure that it does not consume your life. There are times that I fail but most of the time I am succeeding.

Tomorrow night I am having dinner with my float trip girls. I am really excited about that. I have a countdown on my computer that says it is 98 days away. Still excited. And just a chance to have dinner with all of them will be great.

I have started to get back outside with the bad dog. He needs to be completely retrained. He insists on sniffing every single blade of grass that another dog has been on. So we will walk or run down the middle of the road until we are retrained. He is awesome and I adore him.

I will now enjoy my Chinese delivery....mmmmm!!!!!

Teresa

April 20, 2010

Haven't felt very well....

allergies. Causing horrible headaches. I'm ready for everything to quit blooming. And when I stay home from work...I get so far behind. So that stress is added on to the headaches. I know I am definitely not the only one. I hear everyone dealing with the same thing.

I just planned by Nik's graduation party. Unbelievable to me. I taught that little boy to ride a bike, to hit a baseball and whatever other things that he needed to learn. I was his stay at home mommy and I loved it. He takes after me when it comes to being the biggest animal lovers in the world. A very soft heart. And now he is a man. And his momma does not like it. (well there are days)....

Shirley got to go to Kelsey's graduation. And only because I knew that she would not live to see another one of my children graduate. She was in so much pain sitting there but had a smile on her face the whole time. God I miss her.

We have two graduates this year so grandma and grandpa will have to split up. They of course are on the exact same date. Grrrrr....

By the way...bad dog laid in bed all day with me yesterday. I'm not sure he even wanted to get up and go potty when I told him to. I had to go with him. He did not want to leave my side. Some day I have to quit calling him bad dog....he's such a good dog.

O.K. back to work. I love my friends and family and I hope you all know that.

Love,

Teresa

April 16, 2010

I thought I would share...

We all remember Miss Val... one of Shirley's dearest co-workers and friends and one of the sweetest ladies I will ever meet in my life. She has a very strong faith in God and she helped Shirley through some of her roughest times. She prayed with Shirley and I a couple of times and it was so wonderful.

She sent me this email this morning and I thought I would share it with all of you who loved Shirley as much as Val did:


Teresa,

Just wanted to share this devotion. I lost my dearest and closet sister-in-law on Easter morning. Her death was totally unexpected and is hitting our family hard. But I know that God will bring peace and healing. My love for God and for Shirley has brought me so much peace. I think of Shirley daily and I know if she were here she would tell me to trust and have faith in God that he will give me strength to get through this. She has left such an impact in my life that I just wanted you know that. You and the family are always in my thoughts and prayers. Hope everyone is doing fine and that this devotion touches your heart and spirit.

God Bless
Valerie

Please pray for Val and her family. My heart breaks for her.

I said I would never want to go any counseling....



Well too late. I realized last night at dinner that maybe that is why I look forward to my dinners with my girlfriends once a month. They care so much and try to talk to me and help me with my hard times. They are so concerned for me and I can see that in their faces when they are talking to me. I love them. I want them to know that. Teresa, Kelly, Denise, Linda...I love you guys. You were a gift to me after Shirley died. I will never ever be able to express how much they mean to me. How much they help me. I feel bad that we always end our dinner in tears. But they truly understand and they truly help me. Again....thank you so much:) I look at it as they do not have to change their life or schedules around just for me. But they do. God has a place for them. They are such good people.

It was an awesome night. One of Shirley's good friends Laura showed up with her daughter. So nice to see her again.

I am hoping for a more relaxing weekend. Cooler weather. Hope to get the bad dog out running. We both could use it. But there is mud out there right now and not looking for bad dog muddy feet...grrrrr....

I love you ....and you all know who you are. I am glad Aunt Carolyn made it home safe. I love you Tracy.

Love,

Teresa

April 12, 2010

Bad Dog....



got groomed. And he is very proud of himself. No more hobbit feet.

Crazy Weekend

It's been a few days since I have written on here...but yet so much has happened. Life is busy and crazy all of the time.

Friday night was my baby Jake's 17th birthday. He got to go to the Royal's game. And had the best time. Steve took him to that and they had so much fun. Perfect game and perfect weather. Great dad and son bonding time.

And then Saturday we had everyone in the world over to my house for his birthday. It felt that way. We grilled out hamburgers and hot dogs. Aunt Carolyn is still in town so she came with mom and dad and grandma. I was impressed with how long Grandma made it. She sat there will all of us and listened to our stories and laughed. It was wonderful for me to have my family around me. Poor mom has been the taxi driver all week and I think when they take Aunt Carolyn to the airport today...she may go home and pass out. They run so much while she is here that they are exhausted when the visit is over.

I spent yesterday shopping with mom, Aunt Carolyn and Grandma in Weston. Didn't buy anything but the weather and the time with them was priceless. I wouldn't have missed it for anything.

When I left yesterday...I went to see my Shirley. Even with all the craziness....you stop and look around and realize that she is missing. The sadness creeps in. Alex stayed with me overnight so I did get to enjoy him. But I'm so sad. She would have loved weekends like this. And this is the second birthday she missed of Jake's. Time just seems to speed by.

My boss is back today from a 2 week vacation...not fun. But I hope that all of you have a great day.

Love,

Teresa

April 08, 2010

Lunch Buddies....


Love these ladies... I appreciate them taking the time to have lunch with me.

And you can see how great Granny is doing:)

Grandma is home...

and the day is looking great. I will be having lunch with Mom, Aunt Carolyn, Kathy and hopefully Cindy. That will just make my day awesome.

Tomorrow my baby Jakie turns 17. That will make me sad:( I just hate it. I want my little kiddos back. Steve is taking him to a Royals game - just the two of them for the first time ever. Yay!!! And Saturday we will be having his family birthday party. Grilling out some burgers and dogs. I am really excited. I love doing that stuff with my family. Bad dog will be nice and groomed and looking his best for the family. He is excited as well.

Only a couple of more days without my boss. I am kind of ready for him to come back.

Spring is here. It's absolutely gorgeous outside and definitely brings your spirits up. I love you all and have a wonderful day!!!!

Love,

Teresa

April 07, 2010

Grandma is doing better...

My granny is doing much better. She may actually get to go home today. It's all a matter of getting her medication straightened out and the right people taking care of her. I went to visit her before work today and I'm so glad I did. She looked wonderful.

I also got to see my Aunt Carolyn. I know that my mother appreciates her help when she comes to town. I am sure that once they get Grandma settled back into her apartment...they will be off to the fabric stores. They are fun.

It's hard sometimes to be in a hospital now. So many things bring back flashbacks and bad memories. It can be very depressing. And the saddest part about it is that I would give anything to go back and let that be Shirley there and us taking care of her. I know that's not the right thing...but I would still want it.

It's such a beautiful day outside. I hope some of you get to enjoy it.

Love,

Teresa

April 05, 2010

Miscellaneous







Easter weekend was nice. The only bad thing is my granny is back in the hospital. She seemed to be doing much better yesterday so let's pray that she gets better and gets back to her home.

We colored eggs. Even bad dog with his hobbit feet got to color egg. I think it turned out pretty good!!!
Steve and I went out and visited Shirley. These are pictures are of her tree and her flowers. It's beautiful out there.

Kathy's food was delicious! Family time was great. Just what we needed. Of course exhausted coming back to work on Monday but that's the way it goes.
Hope it was wonderful for all of you.
Love,

Teresa

April 01, 2010

Another Holiday

without our Shirley. We will be spending Easter Sunday at Kathy's house. My kids are getting so much older now that it's really not the same. They still asked me last night if we are coloring eggs...of course we are. We always will. And the Easter Bunny will come...

I think I have decided that it is so beautiful outside that I will be taking the night off and taking the bad dog to the dog park...can't wait!!!!

Love,

Teresa