So Much To Tell...

Very busy weekend...again. Are you shocked? The boys (Nik and Jake) actually spent the weekend with grandma and grandpa. Helping out dad, playing games with mom. Nice break for me.

We started out Friday having dinner and drinks with Timmy and Bea. After one pitcher of Margaritas, my brother had me convinced to fly again. We started planning an all family trip to Mexico. Oh and by all family...that means no kids. Just like our trip to Vegas for Shirley's birthday a couple of years ago. We look back and realize how important that trip was...you never know how important this one might be. I am starting to come to terms with my fear of flying...I realized that if the plane goes down and I die...I will see Shirley that day. So it would be a wonderful day!!!!! And I would have a lot of my family with me. Don't get me wrong...there will still be lots of alcohol and heavy drugs. We are planning this trip early next year...maybe January or February.

Saturday we did go to the grad party for Phillip and Joe. Yea!!! That was a lot of fun. And the weather turned out great. Finished up the evening going to see The Proposal with Tom, Cindy, Brandon and Crystal.

Yesterday was catch up day. Getting ready for my big Colorado trip this weekend. Only a 4 day work week, let's hope it goes fast.

Love,

Teresa:)

Finally Friday!!!

A week full of emotions. I don't handle people dying very well, and this week was full of it. I think I am just jealous of these people getting to see my Shirley....and I don't get to.

O.K. so last night met the girls for dinner. A great time of course. I actually had a picture to post on here but I forgot the adaptor to download it with. Grrrr...that's frustrating. I got to laugh quite a bit so that helped.

Mr. Harley (Joe and Kelly's dog) seems to be doing better. I really am relieved to hear that. He did have to have some surgery so he is going to need some recovery time. We can deal with that.

So the weekend ahead is busy of course. Tonight I will be hanging out with Tim and Bea. Tomorrow we will be going to a graduation party...yea!!!! That definitely means family time!! Always good.

Everyone please be safe over the weekend...and we will talk again on Monday...starting the countdown for vacation...one week from tomorrow!

Love,

Teresa:)

:(

Today isn't really working out the way I thought it would. I did have a great lunch with my sister Kathy. She lets me cry...

I'm so sad. I just read that Farrah Fawcett died of her cancer. And I know how sad the people who loved her are. It just makes my whole heart ache. But...Farrah Fawcett gets to meet Shirley today. (Kathy said she can feather Shirley's hair...she is funny).

I am also waiting to hear how Joe and Kelly's dog Harley is doing. He got sick yesterday and he is at the vet. At one point they thought he would be o.k. and now he's not doing so good. We love Harley.

So just another sad day...

Love,

Teresa

Shirley Told Me It Would Be O.K....

in my dream last night. We were sitting together and she had her arm around me and kept telling me it would be o.k. I was crying a lot but her comforting me felt so good. I definitely hope she is right...that it will be o.k.

Today brings another really freaking hot day. I will be lunching with Kathy Jean today. And tonight I will be eating dinner with the girls from High School. So I got to see Shirley in my dreams, lunch with Kathy and dinner with some really good friends...I guess that makes it a great day.

Hope your day is great too!!!!

Love,

Teresa

Heat Wave

Wow...it's hot here!!! Ridiculous!!! I hope everyone is sitting in air conditioning or a swimming pool.

Not much going on today. Sitting here working..which is not a good thing. Gives me too much time to think about how much I miss Shirley.

I am going out tomorrow night with the girls from high school....I love that. Getting excited for Colorado trip. This time last year, mom, Kathy, Shirley and I were planning our trip to St. Louis. That seems like it was yesterday. Time goes really fast...I used to hate that...not so sure I hate it anymore.

Everybody stay out of the heat if you can...

Love,

Teresa

Kathy Made Me Smile Today When She Said...

Maybe Shirley won the Publishers Clearing House in Heaven...or maybe Star Search. Because Ed McMahon was lucky enough to get to go see Shirley today.

Love,

Teresa

5 months today:(

Really???? She has been gone for that long? I woke up at exactly 6:30 this morning...I could feel her.

I looked back at the blog and a year ago I was just happy for good bloodwork.

I think I will just sit here and cry today.

Teresa

Joe's Crab Shack

My family minus Kelsey...too late for the grandma. Family night out at the Crab Shack. Delicious!!!

Another Busy Weekend...

is over...but it was fun. The best part I think was seeing my daddy on Father's Day. He was adorable as usual. I think he is worn out from all the parties and company and is finally relaxing. It's amazing that no matter how many times I drive out there...I can always find something new to tell my kiddos. We drove by the first place that Shirley worked...it used to be called Victory Junction. Now it's just a building that is closed down...but memories came flooding back when I told them that. Shirley hated that job. But thinking back to how cute she was in her uniform with an apron...

Kathy's daughter Elaina had her birthday party Saturday night. We didn't get to stay long but I know that she had a wonderful birthday and it felt good to get my hug from my momma and Kathy. I can always use a good hug.

It was also really great to hear from Becky...Aunt Carol's daughter. I swear that my goal for the next year or so is to get to see everyone that I have not seen in a really long time. I would love to sit and talk to them and hear their memories of our Shirley. I know everyone has them. And it makes me feel really good to talk about her and hear the good things they remember about her.

This week I will get to have dinner with the girls from high school. It's been a little while so I am excited. I haven't been doing it for that long, but I already miss them.

And we are gearing up for our trip with Joe and Kelly to Colorado!!!! Something to definitely be excited for. Saturday night Kelly and I did a little more planning. Yea!!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful day and whoever is reading this....I Love You!

Teresa

Everybody is Gone...

I love this picture of her!!!! I remember just being happy she had an appetite to eat something.

Aunt Carol and Aunt Connie left this morning. The anticipation of the party and having all of our family in...it's over. And with our busy lives you can never spend as much as time as you want with everyone. So now I'm sad that they are all gone. I did tell Mom that I would love to go to West Viriginia some time next year to see everyone. I would also like to take a trip to Michigan and see everyone there. I think that would be fun. Driving of course!!!
It's Father's Day weekend. Yea! I love my daddy!! I think all of the parties and company wore him out. But hopefully he can handle us all a little bite more on Sunday.
I got to babysit a little red headed baby last night. I was looking at her and wondering if that was what Shirley looked like as a baby? I gave her a lot of extra love and imagined that maybe it was.
I know I say this a lot and I think it a million more times than I say it...but I miss her so much. I'm crying right now thinking about how sad I am without her. Nothing helps. It just sucks.
I will force myself to think of the good times we had and her beautiful happy face with a beautiful happy smile. And try to get through another day.
Have a happy weekend and have happy memories of our Shirley:)
Love,

Teresa

New Name For Bad Dog

O.K. so new name for the dog. Still Sue...just added on a little. At night when I am with him, this dog stretches all of the time. And most people know I already call him Sue Pants or Sue Chow (he's part Chow)...just dumb. So now his official name is....Sue Chow Stretchy Pants. You really have to hear it to appreciate it. You have to sort of talk Chinese...

Anyway, that's my dumb story for the day. Had lunch with the ladies yesterday and it was really good. I survived. They make you really appreciate family. Actually...these last couple of weeks have made me appreciate the family I have. Awesome. I love them all.

Tonight Jakie has a baseball game. Hopefully the Twin Aunts will make it out to the game. It's supposed to be really hot so we will see.

Have a great day!!!

Love,

Teresa

Lunch...

Having lunch with crazy ladies today. Mom, Kathy, Cindy, Aunt Carol and Aunt Connie. Woo Hoo!!! Of course Chinese Buffet. I am excited and happy they could find time to come and see me since I have to work. I know they are doing fun stuff during the day that I can't be part of because I have to work. But at least I will get to enjoy more of their company.

I have a few things I did want to write about. Please pray for my friend Robin today. She is having some surgery and I think she would really appreciate a few extra prayers.

Also for those of you who take the time to read what I have to write and who are interested in my life after Shirley, thank you. It's funny that I just said that...Life after Shirley. Because that is how I look at my life now...Life after Shirley. I love all of you who keep commenting and reading ...trying to help me get through an awful time. And who want to keep reading about the bad dog also. grrrr...

Love,

Teresa

P.S. pray for me to make it back to work after the lunch...aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!

A Year Ago...

I was waiting for mom and Shirley to pick me up to go to Shirley's Chemo appt. I just realized that I started this blog one year ago last Sunday. I was so nervous to tell Shirley about the blog because I knew she hated any attention brought to the fact that she had cancer. She hated it. I told her it wasn't about her having cancer...it was about people who loved her who wanted to know how she was doing. It made me feel so good when she eventually told me how much she liked it.

I would give anything to go back to a year ago waiting in my house for mom and Shirley to come and pick me up. Even if it was to go to a chemo appt.

Love,

Teresa

The Party is Over...

Wow, what a weekend. Busy. But so much fun. The pictures on here are of several things. I am sure you are wondering how Sue did in his interview. Check out him holding his certificate. He is so proud of himself. He passed with flying colors. When he got home, he slept for almost 2 days. He was exhausted. And my Jakie also got his drivers license on Friday. Not sure if that is such a good thing.

Saturday was a blast! Tommy kept dad busy all morning while we set up for the party. When dad walked into the house, Aunt Carol, Aunt Connie and Uncle Duane came out singing Happy Birthday and poor dad almost had a heart attack. It's so sweet to see how much he loves his sisters. Hey...maybe that's where I get it from. And they love him. How nice of them to come for his party. Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Dan were here and it looked like everyone had a great time. I know mom loves her sister being here too. That is definitely where I get it from. There was a good turn out and we ended up sitting on the porch until midnight talking.

There is also a picture of the quilt mom made me, Aunt Connie mowing grass, Aunt Carol fishing. The boys all went swimming on Saturday ...freezing cold and with catfish....gross.

I was sad Saturday morning driving out to mom and dad's. Knowing there would be no Shirley:( She would have loved having the family in town and having a big party. I swear the first thing I thought of when I woke up Saturday morning was I wonder what time Shirley is going up to mom's. So yesterday before I came home...I went to visit her. I told her I missed her and it is just not the same without her.

Hope you all had a good weekend as well.

Love,

Teresa

Happy Birthday Alex

And I thought I was sad on my birthday. I couldn't believe I woke up this morning and realized Alex would have to celebrate his birthday without his momma. How sad for a 14 year old boy. Something he will never, ever forget. So unfair. She loved her kids birthdays and made them special.

Tom is having a family part for him tonight and we will go over and help celebrate. I know it won't replace Shirley, but I will hug him and love him as much as I can.

I believe Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Dan are here. We will probably see them this evening. Have a great day.

Love, Teresa

Lunch Today

Lunch today will be with Mom, Cindy and Kathy....at Bo Ling's. I'm already hungry.

I forgot to mention one of the best things that happened this past weekend. Mom has been working on 6 quits ...one for each family. And when she finished them, we would get to draw for a quilt. Well, Saturday night was the night. We each got to draw for our quilt. They were all so beautiful and so much love put into them. Of course we did have a sixth quilt...and not a sixth girl:( So mom is debating what to do with that quilt. It's almost too sad to actually think about. Shirley was really excited about getting a quilt. Of course mom had made her many things over the years...Oh well. I actually forgot to take pictures of the quilts. But I plan on doing that and will put them on here. Everyone will be jealous.

Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Dan should be here tomorrow. Party planning continues....

Love,

Teresa

Camp Bow Wow

(Sue Chow wants his chair back!!! He is depressed.)


Just wanted to let everyone know that Mr. Sue...or Sue Chow as we like to call him .... because he is Chinese (not really), which is appropriate for me...considering I should be Chinese as much Chinese food as I eat, has an interview with Camp Bow Wow on Friday to see if he can stay there when we go to Colorado. They have it set up where I can see him on the internet whenever I want. I know I put the picture down below on my other post but I thought I would put it on this one too. Because they are both so cute.

Crazy Weekend

Jack and the bad dog!!!!

Well, another busy, crazy weekend. Friday night we all were at mom and dad's hanging out with Tear and Guy and Rachel and the kids. Saturday we were back out there, except this time Steve and Teresa had Niki, Jack and Kaitlyn (Joe and Kelly's kiddos). It was a full house and dad made his awesome Peppered Steak. Turned out perfect.

Steve spent the day giving rides in the boat on the pond. Of course it made dad a nervous wreck. We ate and visited all day. Nik and Jake stayed with Sam and Alex that night. Had a blast of course.

Sunday, Tommy and Cindy made breakfast for the crew and the kids spent a couple of hours swimming. Tear and Guy and Rachel left this morning ...headed back to West Virginia. We will spend this week gearing up for dad's big party on Saturday. Oh and Aunt Carolyn and Uncle Dan come to town Wednesday. Yea!!!! I cannot wait to see everyone this weekend.

I did visit Shirley yesterday. That does seem to be getting easier. Especially when I have Steve and the kids with me. They enjoy going there too. It was sad not having her with me with the busy weekend. There were times I felt lost. It will be the same this weekend.

I pray that everyone travels safely this week!!!

Love, Teresa

Family

Today Tear, Guy, Rachel, Christian and Gavin will be here. I think they are at least staying the weekend. We will celebrate Dad's birthday tomorrow with them. I'm sure we will spend most of the weekend there. Another get together without our Shirley. I can't help but bring that up. I think about it every time we plan something.

There will be a lot of family and a lot of love...and we will talk about her constantly I am sure.

Hopefully Monday I will have pictures to post of everyone.

Shirley visited me in dreams last night. Which is funny because at lunch yesterday we were talking about dreams that we all had of her. I guess she decided it was time for another visit. I will definitely be putting flowers at her grave ...I try to always visit her when I go to Piper. She will be missed but thought of constantly this weekend.

Love,

Teresa

No Longer Feeling Sorry for Myself

I had a great lunch. Mom, Kathy and Sammy all met me for lunch. Kathy brought me balloons. Mom and Sam made me cookies. We laughed a lot...cried a little. I realized having Sammy there for lunch was as close as I could get to having Shirley there. It made it a little better. We let Sam enter our circle of trust. Things talked about at our girl lunches cannot be repeated to the men.

It was nice. We talked about Shirley a lot. It felt good. I cannot express enough today how much I miss her. Especially today. The feeling is absolutely indescribable.

Love, Teresa

Feeling Sorry For Myself

I am so freaking sad I can't stand it. This feeling inside is awful. Today, I look at your picture Shirley and I burst into tears. I can feel you, I can hear you, I can even see you sometimes.

Today is my birthday. A day that I did not want to come. I have been dreading it for weeks. When Shirley turned 41, she did not know she would die when she was 42. Shirley would always start counting down my birthday about a month before. The last couple of years she would make me dinner and we would eat on her deck and finish the evening drinking and telling stories from our past. She knew I loved to do that. When I turned 30, Shirley and I went to Worlds of Fun together, just the two of us. And we rode every single ride out there. We were afraid we were getting old...so we had something to prove. We were so sick at the end of the day.

So I am just going to try to get through today. I never imagined a birthday without her.

My parents called and sang to me this morning, Tom Francis called to say happy birthday, Jake, Alex and Sammy called and sang to me. Those things make it better. And lunch with Kathy today. I have missed her and can't wait to see her. And of course Chinese.

I love my family and friends. Teresa:)

It's Official

Nik (my 17 year old son) is officially employed at Hermes. He starts tomorrow. A nice, hot, summer job to keep him out of trouble. Yea!!!! I'm not sure he is too thrilled about it but I am. I think Kelsey will be happy too.

Mom is getting some replies for dad's birthday. It sounds like it will be a really good crowd. Tear and Guy and Rachel should be heading in town this weekend. It's going to be busy.

I will let you in on something weird that happens to me. I'm sure I am not the only one. And if I am, please don't get the straight jacket. Sometimes, just out of nowhere, I can look at a crowd and I swear I see Shirley. I will see people walking toward me and I can see her smiling face, red hair, and she will be waving at me. It always makes me happy...so I am sure my mind does that for that reason. I can almost pretend she is coming to see me. But then she is gone. So it's a little sad.

Oh well, enough of that. Have a great day!!!

Love, Teresa

Bzzzzzz.....

Boys got their hair buzzed. Alex came over to spend Saturday and Sunday with us. Saturday night we went to Joe and Kelly's to swim and hang out. While we were there, we decided that Aunt Kelly would shave the boys heads. It turned out awesome. And they loved it. It was a lot of fun. Enjoy the pictures of these goofy boys.

This is an emotional week for me. I cried all the way to work today and I have been crying all morning. Too many reasons to list but they are all about my Shirley. I miss her more than ever. I feel such an emptiness and loss right now. I need her. What an awful feeling to need something so bad but you will never have it again.

Thanks for reading...

Teresa